they never bother addressing what being a Jew signifies for her
I think it signified to her the potential for discovering more about herself - that there was actually more to her she had not sensed and realized. It represented the potential to experience new things and express herself in new ways. And therefore it signified the possibility of living a different way of life. Previously, her sense of herself, her assumptions and expectations about herself and her life had been extremely limited. Now that has cracked open.
I don't think it was possible for her to find much meaning in being a Jew per se, given her experience of this culture was also extremely limited. The one aspect she came to understand powerfully was the emotional pain associated with this identity, and this shock to the system was powerful enough to rupture her constraining viewpoint. If she had discovered that she had been hidden away at the convent to prevent a scandal over an illicit affair, there wouldn't have been an association powerful enough to shatter her (literal) habit of being.
sexual Rite of Passage, which couldn't realistically have been completely comprehended and dismissed so quickly
I'm not sure she dismissed the experience as unimportant.
If she returned to the convent, I don't think it would necessarily be a "regression" from her perspective. The spiritual fulfillment she experienced there is paramount in her life. And she had changed fundamentally. I think she would return on different terms, and that if those terms no longer worked, she would depart, this time for good. So if she is returning in the end, I don't find it a depressing scenario.
Having said that, one relevant scene that has yet to be mentioned is her brief return to the convent. At dinner she giggles at the eating noises, before having to stifle her reaction. It seems to me that this implies inner change. A loosening. Something literally coming out. Something irrepressible. An appreciation of life that is not so solemn in its devotion.
I am not saying that this means she didn't return to the convent. But I do think it is a significant moment, indicating a major internal shift. In keeping with the story's eliptical, oblique way of communicating Ida's inner life, I think it is the equivalent of more blatant displays of a changed attitude in more mainstream movies. We don't see her moment of epiphany - which probably wasn't in a moment, but over time - instead we see this subtle expression of its aftermath. And from it, we can infer the epiphany.
The other major moment is when she experienced the stained glass window in the cow barn. The idea of beauty - a simple and subtle beauty - lighting an otherwise dismal environment. She stood transfixed in its light, in its enlightenment. It is possible to bring the expansiveness of spirit, like the multicoloured glass, into any experience. That is her deep inheritance, that spirit, which is not about simply adhering to a routine of prostration, Latin verses, etc. Again, this has relevance for wherever she goes: she has awakened to a fundamental quality in herself and her heritage, and she will take it with her. It is beyond being a Jew, beyond being a Catholic, beyond being a Pole.
Whether or not she returns to the convent, I take from this that she is not the same Ida as before. That, I think, is concrete, and not an open question. I think it is more important than where she goes in particular, which is perhaps why the filmmaker left that aspect open. Open endings tend to set aside a particular question, in a sense to block it out, in order to direct an audience to reflect on another, more subtle one that the storyteller may consider more significant, and in fact may have already answered. The open ending opens space for us to appreciate this other question, because it sets aside the distraction of a big, concrete, emotional ending. It's like stepping back to see the negative space that is part of a painting, sculpture or architecture.
"You must not judge what I know by what I find words for." - Marilynne Robinson
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