This is old so maybe you might not see it but I read the book and found the answer to your question. First, they had no idea Mike was gay or had AIDS. On his second trip to Ireland and the Abbey he said he was sick but didn't specify with what and they were polite enough not to ask, only had two years to live and would they please help him in his search. That's when he found out everything had been burned. He asked if he could please be buried in the cemetery because if his mother ever went looking for him (they didn't tell him she'd already made three visits)she would start there and she would find his grave and at least know that much. The cemetery had been closed to any burials except the nuns for years but the sister agreed to do it for a sizeable donation. He left a chunk to them in his will and after he died his partner contacted them again and with the help of a priest in Ireland that they knew and a donation from the partner it was possible to have his ashes buried there. The priest they knew did the funeral. He had to be cremated in the States because they found out before he died that to have his body sent to Ireland they had to fill out all this paperwork, of course, and if the cause of death was anything virulent the government had the right to dispose of the body. So, there you go, I hope that helps.
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