MovieChat Forums > Dance Moms (2011) Discussion > Question about the actual "Moms" of "Dan...

Question about the actual "Moms" of "Dance Moms"


Thought I would ask this question I've been curious about for a long time now while the Message Boards are still around. I have to admit that this show is a guilty pleasure (mainly because I love watching these very-talented kids dance) but I have a very hard time imagining ANYONE acting (and speaking) the way the mothers do to each other, especially around these kids. This has probably been asked a lot before, but are these Moms for real or do you think they are just playing a part for this show? Does anyone actually know of REAL moms of dancers who act this way? I really want to believe it is all for this show as I really don't want to think that our society has gone that far downhill. I can see someone getting upset occasionally, but to take it to this extreme all the time is a little too far-fetched for me to believe, especially when the ALDC isn't the only dance company around. If this were a child of mine, I wouldn't want or even allow my child to be around this very toxic environment when I could go somewhere else very easily. Surely just being on a TV show isn't worth all of this abuse. If this is for real, how are they able to continue with this show?

reply

Only ones I know for sure, are Sophia's mom (who is lovely), and Yolanda, who is as awful off the show is she is on.

Jill and Holly sure seem like pieces of work. Kira, tooZ

reply

I would imagine that, even if they're not as bad off the show as on it, the show itself exaggerates their worst qualities and behavior until that's all they seem to be. It was somewhat believable in the first season, but only got less so with each passing season.

-I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
-I think if you're born, it's too late.

reply

I have had theatre teachers as bad as Abby and as a theatre teacher myself I have definitely seen moms as crazy and wacky as some of these. Granted my rehearsals don't have the moms in one room but I sure do believe some of them would act like this if it were the case.

reply

Hugs and high fives for surviving the theatre Abby's. I've had them too, and frankly I think its much harder than dealing with dance Abby's.

They pull the emotion out of the girls like they are pulling teeth, and most of Abby's critiques are simply based on technicality.

Acting teachers? They can go to town on anything. From your looks, to the way you interpret the piece, to the emotion you've given. I find acting (and musical theatre) to be an experience where, when you succeed, you've poured out all the emotion you have to give.

Someone being as cruel as Abby when it's not about technicality and simply remembering things and holding proper positions, is very difficult when you're leaving your heart on the stage.

So kudos to you for surviving them.

reply

The moms are told to do things to cause conflict by the producers. It's not scripted, but the producers tell the moms to say or do certain things to prompt drama - ie Christi always telling some mom to go downstairs and talk to Abby, then the mom actually doing it. Most of them have admitted they would never do either of those things unless the producers tell them to.

Some of the fights are real of course. These people are forced to be together for 40-60 hours per week so they're gonna get on each others' nerves. There were many tears and screaming matches that were clearly authentic.

The show was initially supposed to be more about the mothers - it was supposed to be like a "Real Housewives" type show and the moms were interviewed and the primary focus when everyone was selected and hired to star in the show. So these moms obviously had the desire to be in the spotlight. Several of the original moms have eluded to the fact that once everyone was hired and under contract, Lifetime sort of snuck in a lot of changes and some of the focus and treatment the kids ended up getting weren't really known by the moms when they were hired. It developed after they were already under contract and began filming.

It took me three hours to figure out that FU was Felix Ungar.

reply

Maybe that's why they "drink" so much! Kelly and Christi literally turned into lushes! Kelly didn't have a leg to stand on concerning a lawsuit against Abby & the show! She was lucky the judge gave her damages for scratches to her hardwood floors from the cameramen! What a dump! The woman has no class; did you see those wine glasses with a flower pattern on them? I was embarrassed for her; big arse house with no taste or class to really fit!  

- http://fiero4251.blogspot.com/2014/05/dance-moms-abby-lee-dance-company-aldc.html - (DM'S)

- - http://www.childrenofrassilon.com/fiero425.html - - homepage

reply

Obviously the conflicts are played up /set up for the show.

But even with that being said, a lot of women do act like this toward each other in any group or community in which they are pushed together for some reason. I'm a woman but even I will admit, women are bitches to each other when not feeling restrained by the presence of men in the same group.

With men in the balance, they rein it in more. But among themselves they tend to be the worst people they can be to each other.

You see it in all-female online communities too.

As for Abby, there are people in real life exactly as abusive and toxic as she is, yes. I worked for a woman who was almost a clone of Abby in every way. She was fiery and abusive in a way no boss is supposed or allowed by law to be today. It was the worst experience of my working life and she actually threatened me against filing a complaint against her.

reply