MovieChat Forums > Friends with Kids (2012) Discussion > Men and Women can't be friends

Men and Women can't be friends

posted 12 years ago by evalucyna
70 replies | jump to latest

This drives me crazy in movies, whenever there are 2 friends, man and woman, they always end up crazy in love at the end. I am a girl and I have 2 best friends who are men, both of whom I have known for several years, and I have no interest in ever becoming romantically involved with either of them.

Are there any movies that portray men and women relationships in another light? My guy friend and I are always complaining about it when we see a movie like that and we're always hoping it ends up differently. Sometimes people are just friends!

[–] mikeyflatley 12 years ago

how bout When Harry Met Sally?

I live, I love, I slay, and I'm content

[–] Defenseman13 11 years ago

When I saw the title, I agreed: men and women generally cannot just be friends. Then I saw the crap that followed. Well, unless you're a gay man.

http://us.imdb.com/name/nm2339870/

[–] mikeyflatley 11 years ago

Or ur related, married w/moralz, really old w/no sex drive, mentally retarded, physically disabled from waist down, etc etc

Werd 2 ur mudda, bruddafcker

[–] cmgilliford 12 years ago

I agree totally. This film was so cliche. There are many happily long term platonic relationships out there and have had quite a lot myself. If someone wrote a script based on a truly platonic relationship I would go see it.

[–] edwardoyle 12 years ago

Both of your male BFF's would bang you if they could.

[–] go-yankees 12 years ago

^^^^^ This.

[–] Luis101 12 years ago

true that

[–] gunner_subbu 12 years ago

^ What he said.

[–] ovorc 12 years ago

So true, only 2 exceptions are they're gay or you're unattractive.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] CognitionLoop 11 years ago

Exacto! Put them both in lie detector and it will be clear. Given the girl "friend" is even mildly attractive.

[–] sadyatabassum 11 years ago

hahhahaha

[–] socialite121 9 years ago

yuppppp

[–] whjunk 12 years ago

I understand where you're coming from; most of my friends are women and most of them I'm not romantically inclined toward. (And of the two I would date it's not more than an idle thought, and, realistically, not worth the drama.)

However, this is a romcom, not a friendcom. Romance is the reason for it. What you're asking for usually happens only in movies where the primary plot is something else - action, crime, etc.

-Wm

[–] brown_eyed_girl-2 12 years ago

You can't be just friends if you are THAT close, calling each other in the middle of the night, talking each other through every romantic relationship they are involved in...if they are your "go-to" person, #1 friend, it never works out platonically. Trust me, I've been there!

[–] edwardoyle 12 years ago

Brown Eyed Girl is 100% right. Guys and girls can be friends, but they can't be BEST friends. It always gets weird and either evolves into a relationship or someone gets hurt.

[–] ItsaaaaaFatTony 12 years ago

Yes they can be friends. My second year of college I lived with a girl I became friends with in my math class. She had more girls over than any of my guy roommates in the past...it rocked. It worked for us because we were open about our friendship and agreed we would never hook up.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] evalucyna 12 years ago

Yes they really can be BEST friends. As I said earlier, my 2 best friends are both guys and our relationships are completely platonic, we discuss our love lives, our everyday feelings, we talk when we're sad, when we're happy, we're like NORMAL friends that just happen to be of opposite genders. It makes me crazy that people can't just accept it and act like deep down we're both secretly in love with each other. We're not.

[–] brown_eyed_girl-2 12 years ago

Thank you edwardoyle! I'm not sure what it takes ppl to come to this realization...maybe just getting older...having it happen, and blow up in your face? (And yes, life is not like the movies, the best friends don't always get together in the end. Sometimes the friendship is ruined and you just have to move on) I remember being that naive in the past too thinking it could work for me even though I had been told that it wouldn't and even read articles saying that it couldn't...but I am no longer naive lol Now I just have casual guy friends...no more "heart-to-hearts"
I think once you help someone through relationship stuff, always being their constant, perhaps even through a heartache or two...either you will start thinking (Even just a teeny tiny bit in the back of your head) that maybe you are the right one for them...instead of these terrible ppl you have had to help them get over...or if you don't start thinking it, it's inevitable that he will start thinking it, because you are this sweet girl, always there, always listening to his problems with that chick who broke his heart!
Sorry for the long post lol I just have a lot of knowledge on this topic...about ten years worth...yup took me a long time to "get it" :P

[–] evalucyna 12 years ago

Nope still going to call *beep* on this one. Have known one of my male best friends for 20 years and he and I are incredibly close, he is happily married and we are like brother and sister. My other best friend I have known for 8 years and nothing romantic has come of it, never will. It doesn't always have to end badly, with drama and broken hearts, two people can just be friends, I happen to connect better with guys and so they are generally the people I hang out with and get close to, even in a non-romantic way. Sometimes people are just like that.

[–] brown_eyed_girl-2 12 years ago

So how does his wife feel towards you? She's ok when he calls you in the middle of the night, and talks to you about things he doesn't tell her?

I think you are misunderstanding... I don't think we are talking about the same degree of closeness in a friendship here.

[–] evalucyna 12 years ago

His wife and I are just as close. When they got together we bonded instantly and all three of us have a great relationship. She even calls me his second wife.

I guess it's a unique situation to be in and I should call myself lucky but I am so defensive about it because people are constantly putting my relationships under attack, like I'm not allowed to have them just because I happen to get along better with guys. Ah well.

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] biomazi 12 years ago

Either this or his wife is much hotter then evalucyna

[–] movie_fan59 12 years ago

100% right. So it's impossible for any one single instance of where a man and a woman can't be best friends?

Sorry, incorrect. I'm a man and I've been best friends with a woman for nearly 20 years now. We're both straight, I don't find her physically attractive, she feels the same way about me, so there is at least one example on Earth where your theory is not 100% right.

Jake: How often does the train go by?
Elwood: So often that you won't even notice it.

[–] Shoforo 12 years ago

I disagree. I have a best guy friend. We talk about EVERYTHING. And there are never feelings of jealousy when we talk about our romantic relationships. It's completely platonic. And we've been at it for years.

[–] benighted2005 12 years ago

The film had a unique storyline and vantage point. I didn't mind how it ended because obviously the man would start to feel different about her a year or so hence. My best friend is a girl and before her I never thought i could be "just friends" With a girl without ever wanting any physical intimacy.

"There. There."

[–] sweetlovenstein 12 years ago

Something Borrowed - although an atrocious movie, didn't have that cliche ending. John Krasinski was in love with Ginnifer Goodwin but they never got together.

[–] devildog8526 12 years ago

Sorry but you are a retard if you think guys and girls can be "just friends". Not possible. I can garuntee that one always has a secret interest in the other. For example you have no interest in your guy friend at all, but I know for a fact if you went up to him and got naked and said lest have sex he would jump right out of his pants in a heartbeat. Unles 1 of 2 things is true; 1. you are fat and ugly (in which case you probably secretly long for him) 2. he is gay.

I speak the truth guys and girls can never be "just friends".

[–] MaximumMadness 12 years ago

Devildog8526, that's disgusting, and you're a jerk.

Of course women and men can be friends, even best friends, with no sexual feelings or attraction. I'm a guy, and I have a lot of female friends (because I have an easier time talking to women than men), some of whom are extremely attractive (several of which have modeled in the past because of their looks), and I don't think there is a single one I'd date or sleep with. And I've called them before out of the blue to talk to them about what happened when my girlfriend and I broke up and I was sad, etc. I've had serious conversations with them, and it was never awkward at all.

You seem very intent on buying into immature gender roles and feeding into a narrow world-view.

And FURTHERMORE, this is my signature! SERIOUSLY! Did you think I was still talking about my point?

[–] 12 years ago

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[–] Thomasina 11 years ago

Men who use the word "friendzoned" or who believe that the concept actually exists also by definition have trouble believing that a woman has the right to choose for herself who she is or is not attracted to. To believe that a man been "friendzoned" also requires the belief that if a man is attracted to a woman, she should also automatically be attracted to him, regardless of her feelings on the matter. In this formulation, men get to choose which women they are or are not attracted to; but (men who believe in "friendzoning" think) all they have to do is be a basic amount of "nice" to a woman and he will then be entitled to have her as a girlfriend. There is more to an adult relationship than that.