The movie is only 40 minutes in, so this is a short list.
When shooting at anything, doesn't matter if it's 2 feet or 20 feet away, always aim at the sky.
Walky-talkies inside snakes make enough noise to be heard several dozen yards away.
Snakes can take 2 shots point blank to the head and survive, the 3rd shot will cause their head to explode.
I learned that Mrs. Landingham will take any part offered because she really needs the work.
shareEnvironmentalists in the Everglades don't know pythons are not native.
Park rangers in that same area are idiotic enough to feed experimental anabolic steroids to 'gators.
Bad teeny-bopper songs never die.
A. Martinez has not aged well.
1. If you are waiter of middle eastern appearance at a garden party on the shores of a bayou and giant gators and snakes are coming towards you. Throwing your shoe at them when you've run out of bullets is not going to work (damn, you can never find a suicide vest when you need one).
2. Steriod enhanced gators created so they will eat giant pythons will instead work in partnership with them to rid the world of bad actors.
3. This viewer is convinced the director could have improved this movie significantly if he included a Tiffany and Debbie's nude oil wrestling sequence.
1. I learned that ladders aren't for actual climbing. If a rope ladder is lowered to you from a helicopter, and you are hanging above a megapython, gatoroid, or any other dangerous creature, you should grab hold, stop at the very last rung, and scream while looking down at the beast that's trying to eat you.
2. I also learned that if your fiance whom you know could be in danger says (via walkie-talkie or cell phone) "talk to me, tell me a story" in a foreboding way, you should NOT talk at all. Instead, let him listen to your confused silence for the final moments of his life.
3. Also, while your partner is being strangled and crushed alive by a huge snake, it's actually of greater immediate importance to retrive your fiance's walkie talkie from the snake's belly.
4. Finally, the proper term for raw whole chickens available from your local grocery store is "dead chickens". I'm gonna go buy some!
Asylum's bread and butter series a "Monster Vs Monster" flick and if they actually put effort into it they may compete with Toho in the future.
shareThat Tiffany & Debbie Gibson have much bigger breasts than I ever realized.
shareOk, maybe Tiffany's are
shareI learned that the childhood song "There's a place called Mars, where the ladies don't wear bras, and the men don't care cause they have no underwear" can be used effectively during a benefit for the Everglades with some different lyrics.
When providing a helicopter rescue and the person can't climb the expandable ladder, it's best to hover over the giant reptiles looking to eat this person instead of climbing high enough to keep the person out of harm or fly to a different area.