Ida made a great point when she complained that she was expected to forgive her daughter's killer, yet wasn't allowed to have contact with her sister because her sister left the Amish way of life and was ex-communicated. I believe the concept of forgiveness is something a lot of Christians like to use to appear "holier than thou." I'm also bothered that Ida's husband would choose his Amish lifestyle over her.
shareRemember what her husband said to their surviving daughters. (Sorry I can't remember her name.) "Hate doesn't feel good. It's a black thing with teeth in it." (paraphrase) Bearing a grudge destroys us. It's not somehow doing someone a favor if you encourage them to be mad all the time. Also, If you read the book Amish Grace (which is completely factual) an Amish person explains, "the shunned person is forgiven. They might not feel forgiven, but they are." (paraphrase)Forgiving doesn't mean not making someone deal with the consequences of his actions; it means forgoing the "right" to bear a personal grudge.
shareI have an opinion. I watched the scene (now I don't know if it was made for the movie or whatever), but when the wife told the husband "I have to leave here, please come with me", and he refuses and says 'you will be shunned, but I will come and pick up our daughter and bring her here to visit", well that did it for me.
I don't care what religion you are, what your faith is, your WIFE should come first. Especially in this instance. Even if he didn't go with her, he could have visited her. He chose his narrow minded point of view over his wife and her feelings.
I could not get passed that.
Like I said, this is just my opinion but he did not have her back.
Husband's should ALWAYS have their wives back. I don't know if anyone understands what I mean by that but I can hope that some of you do.