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25 things i learned from watching 'FOR COLORED GIRLS'

posted 14 years ago by Neptunechild87
60 replies | jump to latest

1. back alley abortions really do take place in 2010 harlem

2.even though your "abortionist" is obviously intoxicated and cant even form a coherent sentence go ahead and lay down on the table anyway because shes done this "a million times". and a dark room is the perfect setting for an abortion. duh.

3.when you are a high powered take-no-sh!t businesswoman dont fire your frequently tardy employee because shes a "good assistant".

4. when you hear your next door neighbor and her kids screaming for help just bang on their door and scream at them to open up even though u have the key to their apartment.

5. when your kids are dropped from a fifth story window the police dont bother to secure the area with yellow caution tape to keep people from walking thru it, they just leave the splattered blood on the sidewalk so that the grieving mother can clean it up later.

6. when u meet a sexy woman who is clearly a bartender and she takes u to her home for a sexual encounter after u flirted with her shamelessly. just accuse her of being a hooker and leave. cuz lord knows american women in 2010 are clearly hookers if they are having casual sex. even if they do have jobs. cuz women only fuc for money. duh

7.when ur a social worker and u go check on two children who are obviously living with a deranged war vet just exit the apartment and go on with ur day as if nothing happened.

8.when u find out that your husband is cheating on u, inquire about the sexual positions he performed on his partners because thats more important than the actual betrayal.

9.married men get upset when a woman doesnt want to see them anymore after a one night stand.

10. everything doesnt blow like tangie

11 tangie likes to fucccc

12. juanita has to ask her man if he brought condoms even though she works at a clinic that hands out free condoms!

13. when ur trying to help a grieving mother cope with an unspeakable tragedy just blame her for the death of her children because that will make her feel much better.

14. black women who are living in harlem 2010 love to use the word colored even if no one else does.

15. after u have had a fight with your mother both of u should sit down in the same room and start whispering to yourselves for a minute or two

16 once u discover u are a pregnant teen dont consult the possible father of your unborn child to get his opinion.

17 if u KNOW your husband is cheating on u wait until u have contracted HIV then confront him about his infidelity.

18 HIV is not the death sentence it used to be

19 tangie's face somehow swells up even though alice barely hit her.

20 if u are in a harlem dance studio and u feel the need to vomit chances are u are gonna have to go all the way outside to find the nearest garbage can.

21. when u see an unstable woman that u barely know cleaning up her children's blood on the sidewalk u should go up to her apartment and hang out with her for a while.

22. if u notice your husband checking out a hot guy just grip his hand tightly and be silent because that will make him magically stop checking out hot guys.

23. if u are a dance instructor and one of your female students runs out of class to vomit, the first thing that will pop in your head is that she is nervous about college.

24. dont invite a man u hardly know to be alone with u in your home unless u know for a fact u can take him in a fight.

25 tyler perry is a complete idiot!!

[–] daliasoul 14 years ago

Here's a couple to add to the list:

26. A married man who goes home with a woman he meets in a bar in 2010 is surprised that she's not a prostitute despite the fact that several of today's women are into casual sex with guys they meet in clubs, on the Internet, at school and EVERYWHERE ELSE!

27. Rather than print the missing page to the report, travel all the way home through NYC traffic to retrieve the original copy even though you only have 15 minutes until your meeting.

28. Tell an abusive, drunk, PTSD man who can't find a job and who is holding your children near an open window that you're not going to marry him and say nothing when he starts to believe that the children aren't his.

29. Refuse to marry an abusive, drunk, PTSD man who can't find a job that you've loved since you were 14, but stay with him so that he can terrorize you and the children.

30. Don't call the police. Run out in the street and yell. This is a more effective way to save two children being dangled from a window.

[–] Neptunechild87 14 years ago

daliasoul u are too funny. i like you. heres a couple more

31. when u are watching two small children and their mom is getting her ass kicked next door u should start talking about your late husband to distract them, dont bother turning on the tv because kids dont give a *beep* about that!

32. the best way to perform an abortion is in a dark room.

[–] daliasoul 14 years ago

DYING LAUGHING!!! It's so refreshing to find others thought this movie sucked as much as I did. What's shocking though is that so many people on this board liked this crappy movie!

[–] fredm74 14 years ago

They turned a modern day teenager in 2010 into a BONA FIDE idiot. She went to a back alley to get an abortion?

She asked her sister for $300 and used a lame excuse. A college application? Are you kidding me?

This storyline was the most puzzling, while everyone's storyline felt like it took place in the present. The abortion storyline felt like it took place in the 60's.

Tyler Perry should have watched "The Hours" with Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman and Julianne Moore and used that as a blueprint. Weaving 3 or 4 storylines in different eras (1920's, 1960's, Present Day). Maybe For Colored Girls wouldn't have sucked so much.......

[–] deebabes 14 years ago

Yeah tell me about it. I still can't believe people actually thought this was a good movie. I will respect their opinion but I just don't get it.

"Live well, Laugh often, and Love much!"

[–] Neptunechild87 14 years ago

ill go as far as saying that it was a slightly enjoyable film but when people say that its oscarworthy i cant help but to bust out with laughter. because it features a bunch of women crying and shaking it deserves an oscar?? lol get real. i already listed 25 reasons why this film isnt oscarworthy. and i could go on but id be here all day. if anything it woulda made a good made for tv movie.

[–] Neptunechild87 14 years ago

33.kerry washington is stunning

34. michael ealy might not be able to live his character down.

35.mariah is probably glad she backed out

[–] SwissCheeze 14 years ago

36. When a mother sees her children murdered right in front of her the very same day, you should just chill out in her apartment and talk about you mommy and sister issues. Also make good use of her and make her get you a dry towel

37. Although you could have said "I will marry you!" so your crazy lover will calm down instead of trying to kill your children, you still shouldn't because a lie is a lie even though it could help save your two children

38. They lied to us this entire time. There is no such thing as a one night stand....all those girls were really hookers who get paid even though they didn't mention anything about money. Its just common courtesy.

[–] b-touch 13 years ago

re: #34 someone needs to cast Mike Ealy as a saint, Black Jesus, or someone else pure and saintly very quickly. Too many people think movies are (to some non-understandable degree) real, and it'd be a shame for Ealy to be known as "*that* dude".

[–] fishbulbIV 13 years ago

39 (Added a bit from #13): When you're trying to help a grieving mother cope with a tragedy, try blaming her for the death of her children...Even though you're the one that didn't call the police when she was being beaten like crazy while you had her children safe in your own apartment.

40) A paranoid drunk man with PTSD will just causally let his next-door neighbor take his kids without questioning her.

[–] dwacon-2 13 years ago

41. If you are in the kitchen chopping veggies with a sharp knife and a man gets sexually aggressive and starts disrobing... you back away from the knives and go into a room with no weapons so that your attacker can assault you.

42. White clothing stay clean, even after a physical altercation with your daughter...

Dwacon
http://dwacon.com/
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[–] LaWanda74 13 years ago

26. A married man who goes home with a woman he meets in a bar in 2010 is surprised that she's not a prostitute despite the fact that several of today's women are into casual sex with guys they meet in clubs, on the Internet, at school and EVERYWHERE ELSE!

27. Rather than print the missing page to the report, travel all the way home through NYC traffic to retrieve the original copy even though you only have 15 minutes until your meeting.

28. Tell an abusive, drunk, PTSD man who can't find a job and who is holding your children near an open window that you're not going to marry him and say nothing when he starts to believe that the children aren't his.

29. Refuse to marry an abusive, drunk, PTSD man who can't find a job that you've loved since you were 14, but stay with him so that he can terrorize you and the children.

30. Don't call the police. Run out in the street and yell. This is a more effective way to save two children being dangled from a window.

I thought this storyline had the most potential. Instead Tyler turned Michael Ealy's character into yet another cliche and the climax was so ridiculous and unfulflling.

Chris Pine....Sexy Mutha....

[–] greenclover90 14 years ago

HAHAHA!! Can any one say it better?! I know I couldn't, BRAVOOOOO!

[–] ayane16 13 years ago

I agree with 17,23 and 24.

[–] Neptunechild87 13 years ago

thanks i try lol

[–] Neptunechild87 13 years ago

i also dont understand how a woman who just witnessed her kids being murdered would be released from the hospital without psychiatric evaluation.

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Neptunechild87 13 years ago

thats a good one i never really thought about that!!

[–] Neptunechild87 13 years ago

bump

[–] oawopetu 13 years ago

I just finished watching this movie and though I agree with a lot of the criticism, some of it is just based out of ignorance. The only story line and performance that I found exceedingly lacking was that of Janet Jackson's, the rest were fairly accurate. Yes, the monologues were too long and drawn out but the overall effect was not bad. I liked it, for those wondering why the women in the black community are always being portrayed this way its because these are the prevalent issues that they are facing. Having lived in a variety of black communities (African, caribbean and african american), I can tell you that I have witnessed every single last one of these situations or something very similar. For you to judge and say that the reactions of these women weren't realistic (not referring to the acting here) that is wholy untrue. When you're scared, lonely, hurt, devastated and even in love - you cannot predict what you can do.

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] SarahKatherine247 13 years ago

3.when you are a high powered take-no-sh!t businesswoman dont fire your frequently tardy employee because shes a "good assistant".

Replace woman with man and tardy with drunk and you have George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin. Five times. Yes, George fired Billy but he took him back four more times!

7.when ur a social worker and u go check on two children who are obviously living with a deranged war vet just exit the apartment and go on with ur day as if nothing happened.

This happened in NYC with Nixzmary Brown and countless others.

8.when u find out that your husband is cheating on u, inquire about the sexual positions he performed on his partners because thats more important than the actual betrayal.

On "Friends," Rachel asked Ross "How was it?" Also a work of fiction but I like to ask that on the boards every time I hear about a high-profile sex scandal.

12. juanita has to ask her man if he brought condoms even though she works at a clinic that hands out free condoms!

I spotted this instantly. You know, the more I think of it, the more I think the movie was stupid, even if I initially enjoyed it. Kind of like "Wild Wild West."

13. when ur trying to help a grieving mother cope with an unspeakable tragedy just blame her for the death of her children because that will make her feel much better.

Exactly! Not exactly a case of women uplifting women, regardless of race.

14. black women who are living in harlem 2010 love to use the word colored even if no one else does.

Spot on! This should've been set in the 1960s or early 1970s as originally intended. Tyler Perry blew it worse than Tangie did.

23. if u are a dance instructor and one of your female students runs out of class to vomit, the first thing that will pop in your head is that she is nervous about college.

Agreed! I knew she was pregnant right away from that.

25 tyler perry is a complete idiot!!

Last time I ever watch a movie of his.

[–] sheilagermaro 13 years ago

-When gathering around two kids about to be dropped out of a window, don't make ANY attempt to save/catch them.
-Watching this movie actually makes watching the show "Meet The Browns" seem refreshing by comparison.
-If Mr. Perry and company thought that this would be the next Precious, they were SORELY mistaken.
-Spike Lee was probably onto something.
-Tyler Perry should probably do the same thing George Clooney did after Batman & Robin (in which anyone who told him they watched that movie he would refund their money on the spot).

Christian Bale is sacrilege. Do you see any Americans playing Bond?

[–] denny004 13 years ago

yeah that part bothered me but it was such a big part of the movie he had to leave it that way.

Some of these are OK but overall the OP is off base. I'm no TP fan but he decided wrongly to modernize this movie.

I'm your daddy and what do I do?

[–] Neptunechild87 13 years ago

yeah that part bothered me but it was such a big part of the movie he had to leave it that way.

what part? cuz there are several

Some of these are OK but overall the OP is off base.

care to elaborate on what im off base about??

I'm no TP fan but he decided wrongly to modernize this movie.

thats an understatement!

[–] denny004 13 years ago

My bad. The abortion clinic plot

I'm your daddy and what do I do?

[–] blackurbanprince 13 years ago

Lmao. This has to be the best post for this movie. Great job.

[–] smgiannouli 13 years ago

You guys i am actually laughing out loud which is great considering i've spent 2 hours watching all those people cryyyyyiiiiiiing....
THANX!

[–] Ilario1 13 years ago

LOL I'm cracking up laughing at this post. I still liked the movie though.

"What happens to a dream deferred?"

[–] Neptunechild87 13 years ago

this movie sucked and i cant believe shange ok'd the script