25 things i learned from watching 'FOR COLORED GIRLS'
1. back alley abortions really do take place in 2010 harlem
2.even though your "abortionist" is obviously intoxicated and cant even form a coherent sentence go ahead and lay down on the table anyway because shes done this "a million times". and a dark room is the perfect setting for an abortion. duh.
3.when you are a high powered take-no-sh!t businesswoman dont fire your frequently tardy employee because shes a "good assistant".
4. when you hear your next door neighbor and her kids screaming for help just bang on their door and scream at them to open up even though u have the key to their apartment.
5. when your kids are dropped from a fifth story window the police dont bother to secure the area with yellow caution tape to keep people from walking thru it, they just leave the splattered blood on the sidewalk so that the grieving mother can clean it up later.
6. when u meet a sexy woman who is clearly a bartender and she takes u to her home for a sexual encounter after u flirted with her shamelessly. just accuse her of being a hooker and leave. cuz lord knows american women in 2010 are clearly hookers if they are having casual sex. even if they do have jobs. cuz women only fuc for money. duh
7.when ur a social worker and u go check on two children who are obviously living with a deranged war vet just exit the apartment and go on with ur day as if nothing happened.
8.when u find out that your husband is cheating on u, inquire about the sexual positions he performed on his partners because thats more important than the actual betrayal.
9.married men get upset when a woman doesnt want to see them anymore after a one night stand.
10. everything doesnt blow like tangie
11 tangie likes to fucccc
12. juanita has to ask her man if he brought condoms even though she works at a clinic that hands out free condoms!
13. when ur trying to help a grieving mother cope with an unspeakable tragedy just blame her for the death of her children because that will make her feel much better.
14. black women who are living in harlem 2010 love to use the word colored even if no one else does.
15. after u have had a fight with your mother both of u should sit down in the same room and start whispering to yourselves for a minute or two
16 once u discover u are a pregnant teen dont consult the possible father of your unborn child to get his opinion.
17 if u KNOW your husband is cheating on u wait until u have contracted HIV then confront him about his infidelity.
18 HIV is not the death sentence it used to be
19 tangie's face somehow swells up even though alice barely hit her.
20 if u are in a harlem dance studio and u feel the need to vomit chances are u are gonna have to go all the way outside to find the nearest garbage can.
21. when u see an unstable woman that u barely know cleaning up her children's blood on the sidewalk u should go up to her apartment and hang out with her for a while.
22. if u notice your husband checking out a hot guy just grip his hand tightly and be silent because that will make him magically stop checking out hot guys.
23. if u are a dance instructor and one of your female students runs out of class to vomit, the first thing that will pop in your head is that she is nervous about college.
24. dont invite a man u hardly know to be alone with u in your home unless u know for a fact u can take him in a fight.
25 tyler perry is a complete idiot!!