Things We Learned from Unknown

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198) If you are escaping from hospital with nothing but a hospital gown on, duck into the nearest ambulance where you will find a set of perfectly fitting clothes to change into. They are also dark so you look cool and brooding for the rest of the film.

199) In order to save your own life it is acceptable to drive like it's ok to mow any pedestrians down in your path. If they can't get out of the way in time then it's their problem. In fact, you should go out of your way to do this by mounting busy pavements at top speed, reversing at top speed down archway footpaths and careering over bustling airport taxi queue areas without the slightest consideration that, if you hit just one person, you're no longer a hero, but a certifiable lunatic that needs locking up.

200) If you've outrun and outwitted the baddies for the first time by running and hiding in a club, then befriended the girl cabbie and convinced her to let you stay in her appartment which is in the back of beyond in a very obscure, tucked away location, be careful as the baddies could still inexplicably turn up, even though there is no logical way they could have traced you there. It may be loosely hinted that they followed the other cab worker friend who dropped off the cab keys, but they actually didn't even know he existed.

201) When they do turn up and you're in the bathroom having a shower, don't worry. It takes them seconds to reach and check the bathroom, but in this time you can dry yourself, put your clothes on, climb out of the window, walk over the bathroom roof tiles and hang down the far side of the roof in the same amount of time and all without making a single sound.

202) If you've abducted an amnesia struck assassin with the intent to kill him, bundled him into a black people carrier at gunpoint and sped off to avoid being caught, best not just shoot the guy in the car on the move so the problem is solved. Instead, take him round and round to the top of a car park and park up in full view of the main entrance road and carry out some drawn out plan to kill him with drugs that takes ages to prepare.

203) While you're preparing the drugs in the car park, don't feel at all alarmed by the car with screeching tyres that entered the car park shortly after you did and that is screeching nearer and nearer at a surprisingly fast rate, until it is on the same floor, 20ft away and flying towards you.

204) If you've hatched a complex and enormously costly operation to assassinate a researcher and steal his work, don't worry about the bit of the plan that requires the researcher to turn up on a whim and get into to a billionaire's party without invitation, where the security is ridiculously tight as assassination attempts have already been made, even though the researcher is looking deshevelled, potentially suspicious and is carrying an ominous bag that no-one checks. Also don't worry about the plan needing the researcher to let you hang up his bag with the rest of the coats, even though the whole reason he has it on him is so it never leaves his person. That bit will all go fine on the night.

205) If you're designing a bespoke assassin's secret usb transmitter that can be secretly hidden in a ladies watch, to be used for an incredibly serious (and secret) life and death situation that will cost many lives, where the outcome will be worth billions and where it's prescence has to remain absolutely secret, just for a laugh build a big green flashing light into the top of it.

213. Multiple cars can drive at high speeds, in reverse, on sidewalks and in pedestrian areas through a busy European capital without ever hitting one single person.

214. Illegal immigrants working as waitresses/cabbies are always smoking hot.

215. Smoking hot waitresses/cabbies/illegals won't talk to cops, but will invite strangers up to their apartments.

216. When trying to avoid assassins in a busy art gallery, always walk directly behind them. They can't see you there.

217. Members of despised former secret police units always immediately show their secret police photos and info to complete strangers.