MovieChat Forums > Grown Ups (2010) Discussion > Am I the only one offended by rape joke?...

Am I the only one offended by rape joke???


When the Kevin James character says that the last time he and his wife had sex she was asleep.....am I really the only one who found this offensive and unfunny?



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So are you trying to tell us that you wouldn't like that?

If you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you.

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I can see your problem from here. dont' lose hope, there is an operation that can help you. try this website:
www.getthestickoutofyourass.com
it will loosen you up and you can enjoy life more.

"everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die"

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It's called dry humor. Look into it.

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I lol'ed quite hard at that line.

"You will never be one of the people!"

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unfortunatly you're not the only one....but you should be

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I find it offensive that you found it offensive.


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It's a comedy people, gosh. It was suppose to be funny and it wasn't rape.

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Yes, I understand it is a comedy and other than that I enjoy the movie, but yes..If a woman is not conscious to give consent it is rape. I am not being pedantic, those are the facts.


No Louis, you're mistaken. It's not me.

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Yes, you are being pedantic. I was way, WAY more offended by all the mommy-milk/breast pump jokes. (And by offended, in this case I mean moderately skeeved).

It's hardly "rape", based on a history of "Married-with-Children"-esque gags about married sex/exhausted parents. Frankly, I've been married over 25 years, and if The Husband was satisfied to just climb on and Do His Bidness while I was asleep, I'd be fine with that. One less job for me.

Now, if the joke was something along the lines of "I just slip her a mickey finn and then go to it when she passes out, yeah, I would agree with your ass (stick and all)

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You are entitled to your opinion. Congratulations on your successful marriage.


No Louis, you're mistaken. It's not me.

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It's bizarre to not distinguish between actual rape and the joke.

Also...it's bizarre to pretend that non-rapist husbands sometimes get things started by touching a sleeping wife, when in a frisky mood when in the middle of the night. Or vice versa.

By your logic, most everyone is a molestor, if not full blown rapist. Kissing someone's forehead to wake them up in the morning would be assault, since there's no consent. It makes no sense.

"Facts" handed out to help naive teens identify/protect against date rape have nothing to do with how married couples behave when sleepy but horny...

Besides...realistically...Kevin James can't climb all over anybody without utterly waking them up. Hence (part of) the joke...nobody sleeps comfortably with Kevin working away on them...

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I do see your points(s). I also remain mildly offended by this joke. That's just how it is. Being a survivor of rape I have a lower setpoint I guess. Like I said before we are all entitled to our own opinions and I am respectful of everyone's viewpoints. I asked a simple question in this thread. Evidently the answer is "yes". Thank you for your input.

No Louis, you're mistaken. It's not me.

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I would imagine then, that you're offended by any rape joke then? Makes sense, I mean.

It isn't about this joke...Kevin's character pretending he pitifully had actual sex with his sleeping wife, a self-effacing joke about his deperation. It could of been anything. You just find the topic offensive, I take it?

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It wasn't a rape joke. Immediately in my head, I assumed he asked for sex as she was going to bed and she was like, "Fine, just don't wake me" and he did it. He got the consent, she just wasn't really into it.




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I hadn't thought of that. Very plausible. Thank you for your input!



No Louis, you're mistaken. It's not me.

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[deleted]


Graduated from Stanford, not an idiot or dimwit but you are entitled to your opinion. I asked a question, I got my answer. Apparantly you don't understand the legal definition of rape, perhaps someone could read it to you. I agree with you that some women do wrongly cry Rape when they regret a sexual encounter. That is not what I am talking about.


No Louis, you're mistaken. It's not me.

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There is something else to consider as well. The act depicted in this movie could very easily be seen to fall under the purview of implied consent. While this concept has mostly fallen out of use in American Law there are some countries that still have this as part of their legal system Basically, implied consent states that act of marrying someone confers to your partner (male or female, works both ways) certain "Conjugal rights". This would cover what is seen in this movie. I am not saying I agree with this only that the concept deserves a place in this discussion.

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What evidence do you have for that, that is one of the stupidest things I've read. Why are you filling in details to make it more acceptable and then stating it like you just thinking it means its actually part of the film?

And everyone that posted, it is rape. If you're asleep and someone puts their tool inside you without asking you first, it is rape. It doesn't matter how much you "belong" to them or how many times you've done it beforehand. You guys are idiots.

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[deleted]

first off all he was making a pun on masturbation.
he wasn't actually saying he actually had sex with his sleeping wife.

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It was a joke......in a movie.....a comedy movie....


"Snickers! Eat Snickers! Leave garbage!"

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Having sex with your own wife is considered rape? Get the F out of here.

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No, having sex with a woman who is not conscious to give consent can be construed as rape.



No Louis, you're mistaken. It's not me.

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Wow. A husband or wife getting it on with their married partner that might not want to wake up and take part could now be construed as rape?! What the he-- is the World coming to? I've never been married, and have had girlfriends take it to me while I was sleeping, though I usually awoke and enjoyed in the action. But to even go directly to rape? I mean, if you unfortunately encountered true rape in your past, I am very sorry. But, to think that in this instance it was rape is just crazy talk.

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In a case like this (husband/wife or live-in couple), I believe if (s)he climbs on the other person, and (s)he wakes up and doesn't tell him/her to stop, but goes back to sleep, (s)he didn't care to stop them and that is a form of consent. Not wanting to join in is differant than not letting your lover have a little fun.

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Which is it , do I lick cock or am I a dyke? I asked a question, the question has been answered....which is the point of asking a question, yes? Apparantly I don't find rape funny. P.S. Look up the definition of rape before you get involved in a discussion.


No Louis, you're mistaken. It's not me.

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Ha ha ha, nice one, blonde. Did you previously know you were bisexual, or is this new? Anyways, I know its been answered but... no I didn't find that offensive, also, being a married man, I found it funny. I never saw it, at all, as sex without consent, more like, you shouldn't need consent from your wife to get it on. I can't imagine there would be many wives out there who would actually wake up in the middle of something like that, and consider themselves being assaulted, rather than maybe put off by her horny husband ruining her sleep.
But... I guarantee there are things out there that I or others on here would find offensive that you might not, so I don't really find it wrong for you to feel that way.

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[deleted]


Actually I do not fear men at all I love men. I have been with many, live with one now.(I will wait patiently for your "slut" jab now. Take your time, whenever you're ready). To reiterate: I posted a question. I got my answer through the (mostly) rational comments of others. I realized and admitted that I was probably overreacting due to being a survivor of rape myself. So settle down. I am not the one making an idiot of myself, and common sense really has nothing to do with anything I said so I guess you were just lashing out. Anyway, women don't start dating men because they fear men, genius, it's because they are lesbians and were born that way.



No Louis, you're mistaken. It's not me.

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Actually, a lot of women start dating other women 'cuz they're sick of getting screwed over & think being w/a woman will be easier to deal with. Most of them wind up going back to men & some of them give up on both genders entirely. Maybe some gays are born that way but some do choose to 'go that way' & then choose to go back - Anne Heche is a perfect example.

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Whether or not that joke was funny is irrelevant to me at this time. Truthfully, I found the whole movie to be extremely unfunny, especially considering the talent involved. A very big disappointment. What I can't believe are the number of men on this particular thread who think that "you don't need consent, when it is your wife". (That's almost a direct quote from someone who had posted earlier) Do the men on here honestly believe that? You don't think it can be considered rape if a husband forces his wife to have sex against her will? (I'm talking about when they are awake). I find that very disturbing.

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It was a sarcastic joke, Meaning he didn't really "Rape" his wife.... I don't know how you think he was being serious with that joke, Get a since of humor. Humor like that is part of my daily life, More people need to get a since a humor and not take stupid crap like this so serious.

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I wasn't commenting on the "joke" itself. Like I said in my post. I was commenting on the some of the men on this particular thread who imply that you don't need consent if it is your wife.

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Excellent posts lisibet! Some of the responses on here are more than a little off-putting.




No Louis, you're mistaken. It's not me.

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thank you :)

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OK "hitchcock" hear me out. Don't be angry until you read the whole post. Isn't she the same character who later on grabbed her own boobs and asked..
"What am I supposed to do with these?" her husband looked at her with some desire and said "I know what you can do with em rrrrrrrrrr" (or something like that) and she looks at him coyly and flattered with a smile. Clearly she wasn't the victim of a rape in the same way you were. That gave the joke additional context. Kevin James and Maria Bello were the only couple that seemed to have any chemistry. The other couples just weren't believable.

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