100 things I learned from Birdemic
1. If you buy 2 million dollars worth of software, you can probably swing a 50% discount.
2. Victoria's Secret models have filthy feet.
3. Rod knows a great Vietnamese restaurant.
and over to you.
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MovieChat Forums > Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010) Discussion > 100 things I learned from Birdemic
254. The offers to work for Victoria's Secret just come flooding in for One Hour photo models
255. There must be a place called "A Good Vietnamese Restaurant"
256. Having a five second moment of Tippi Hedren on a TV means she deserves third billing in the ending credits
257. Rod is surprisingly cool about the eagles killing his friends
258. While complaining how hot it is outside, wear two shirts to get your point across
Son, you got a panty on your head.share
259. If you're an eagle and you've just finished your birdemic, it is time to fly endlessly out over the ocean even if you're not a sea bird because, well, what's the point in going on with life? Who can go back to nesting after getting together with your buddies and engaging in large-scale slaughter?
260. Nguyen likes to make his actors stare endlessly at the sea.
261. If you're concerned about the lives of people on a bus the best option is to shoot directly at them.
262. If someone doesn't want to be saved, kidnap them at gunpoint.
264. Small van = safer than large bus, even when there is clear evidence that the birds somehow seem unable to get inside the large bus.
265. Who needs public toilets when there is a field nearby and you've got a roll of toilet paper, bird attack be damned!
266. Shoot directly at your friend as she is being attacked by a bird.
267. A birdemic is a good time to hang around at the beach, if all the people we see wandering around without concern in the background is any indication.
268. The best way to study birds is to stand on a bridge with a filter over your mouth and yell at any people who approach.
269. Middle-aged men are "old".
270. "Old" men on bridges are instantly fascinating. Let's approach the man in the mask!
271. You become more succeptible to a bird epidemic if you stand on a bridge than if you stand on a plot of grass an equal distance away from the dead birds.
272. The biggest thing to be concerned about when the world is being attacked by hovering, exploding birds with toxic vomit? Getting bird flu. Because, like, bird flu killed sooo many more people than regular flu kills every year.
273. Victoria's Secret models wear rather plain looking underwear in real life.
274. If you are being attacked by birds, don't shoot at the ones hovering still nearby. Shoot at the ones moving around much further in the distance.
275. A birdemic will not start until after the lead characters have sex.
276. Newcasts get their video from Getty Images.
277. After the environmentalist points out to you that the birds seem to target people in cars and at gas stations, go immediately to your car, continue to drive around aimlessly.
278. In California people from different towns somehow wind up attending the same school.
279. If you coincidentally go on a double-date with both you and your new girlfriend's best friends, chances are you'll also coincidentally wind up coming upon them dead at the side of the road after driving around aimlessly for hours.
280. It's just a coincidence that you finally "score" during the same date your girlfriend finds out your stock dividends paid off majorly. Yeah, she really meant it when she said she was just kidding about her ideal man having stock dividends.
281. Establish that your main character is an environmentally concerned hybrid car owner by spending the majority of the first 10 or 15 minutes of the film showing him driving around and filling his car with gas. Yep, he has a low carbon footprint.
282. The best place to store your machine guns whilst shagging your girlfriend in a cheap seedy motel? Outside in your van.
283. The writers of the Walking Dead hope people don't catch onto the whole "walk back-to-back while armed with coathangers" thing. How can you keep a show scary when there's such a fool-proof defense available?
284. Angry birds really do go kamikaze.
285. You can actually open a movie with endless internal scenes of a driving car, while pretty boring elevator music is been played.
286. If you are a model and you get a perfect job offer from Victoria's Secret, you absolutely don't(!) fücking freak totally out, cause this is the best day of your life.
287. Many people are afraid and can even die of bad CGI.
__________________________
Nietzsche: God is dead!
God: Nietzsche is dead!
Nietzsche: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6MlaIe1ljs
280. I don't want to imagine peace at all.
share285. If you're having a casual, everyday conversation with your mom about the guy you met, use expressions such as "when we get better acquainted"
286. Although the exploding birds are attacking humans - and especially vehicles and gas stations - there's no panic on the streets at all and the traffic appears perfectly normal
287. If you are in your car and the vicious, bloodthirsty birds are attacking you, the best solution is to pull over to the side of the road, roll down your windows and prepare to receive the deadly cheek wounds
288. Global warming isn't the cause of birds spitting acid, sounding like World War 2 combat planes and exploding. Except that global warming is causing birds to go hungry and therefor spit acid, sound like World War 2 combat planes and explode.
289. Stealing from blinded store owners in desperate need of medical attention is acceptable behavior under Birdemic conditions.
290. When you have plenty of bottled water in ample supply, long enough to drive away from the oddly small-scale birdemic, ignore it and risk life and limb to venture into the open in a forest (One of the many habitats birds are found in) in order to gather up dirty, unfiltered river water.
291. Motel 6 doors project an anti-incendiary field originally intended to prevent fires, but it works on spontaneously combusting birds too. The same technology was adapted to mini-van windshields.
292. This movie is the reason Al Gore elected to own a home that uses fifty times the electricity used by normal homes and fly in a carbon-belching Gulfstream private jet.
293. The only known Buddhist Squirrels in the world self-immolated during the filming of this movie in protest. James Nguyen elected to use the footage in his wretched movie.
294. Giving arbitrary discounts *after* you have sealed the deal is the mark of a great salesman, be it software or solar panels.
295. Mini-vans have the worst gas mileage of any vehicle. You can fill them up twice in the same afternoon and burn through the entire tank *well* before the sun sets.
296. James Nyguyen is so behind on his Progressive buzzwords that he still thinks people call 'Climate Change' Global Warming.
297. Cell phones require the use of telephone wires.
298. Having the means to steal gasoline doesn't mean you should. Just use your gun to *purchase* gasoline.
299. Being a George W. Bush stand-in in any film made by a fanatical Progressive is a death sentence, no matter how much you offer to pay for your stol-err, forcefully purchased gasoline.
300. Birds, are in fact, two dimensional entities that do not require tucking or folding their wings to slit someone's throat in a rapid fly-by.
301. It's important to randomly point out someone who's standing on a nearby bridge.
302. Said person who's on the bridge will probably move away from it so he can't keep watch any more if you request that he moves to a picnic area to talk.
303. You can rely on the infinite ammo cheat whenever you need it.
304. You can fire at a flock of birds flying towards you, killing one, and the rest of the flock will disappear.
305. It's fine to talk as if you are interviewing someone on a first date with them. Make no attempt to be colloquial at all.
306. When someone looks at you like a creepy stalker, keep cutting your meal but don't eat it.
307. If the said stalker chases you down the street just be polite and get your business card ready.
308. People just don't care anymore for cars with dead people inside or being heisted by armed guys with an old van or attacked by birds, so they just keep driving as if nothing happened.
309. You can shoot birds that are between you and a bus with a machine gun without hitting the bus at all.
310. You can make a whole unprepared fish with seaweed soup in the middle of a beach with a stove that works without gas or electricity.
311. Children are so terrible with their lines, that they have to awkwardly be filmed mumbling something, and then have to be dubbed over in 'post production' -- assuming there was such a thing as post production.
312. Children's parents need to be sitting in their car, like they are asleep, with only minor scratches on their faces. Meanwhile, non-panicked drivers drive passed the scene, completely unaware of the deadly eagles.
313. Doctor on the bridge with an apparent need for a surgical mask will not feel stupid about the need to wear a surgical mask when the two main protagonists approach without any fear for their own safety.
314. Doctor will then contradict himself in saying that birds are attacking humans because of so-called global warming. But will also say that birds were also attacking 'cavemen', presumably back during the time when fossil fuels were not being burned to create greenhouse gases that lead to this global warming. In the meantime, the doctor has no idea that global warming is not a worldwide phenomenon. The idea is that warm extremes in some areas will lead to cold extremes on the other side of the planet, and vice versa. Apparently, the bird attacks were localised to an area where only one group of people were being targeted. Perhaps they had the caveman dna, and were prime targets for the bird attacks.
315. NCT Software employees all show up for work at exactly the same time.
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