How come no in this movie has a Texan accent?

Being a Texan, I can truthfully say that not EVERY Texan has an accent. Especially not around the Austin area! But then again, maybe it's because I've lived here all my life that I don't hear an accent. LOL!

*I feel like I'm in Derek Zoolander's Center For Kids Who Can't Read (or spell) That Good*

and why do they all sound like they have a lisp?

I am a native Austinite, born and raised here in Austin, Texas my whole life - Austin is where the movie takes place (or is supposed to, anyway - some of it was filmed here some of it in Michigan.). This may sound realllly weird to you but most people in Austin and surrounding areas including small nearby towns like the one Bliss is from DONT have Texas accents, not even a little bit. SOME people do, and thats shown in the film, several of the roller derby girls have twangs, slight Texas accents and as a Texan I can tell you honestly they do a good job. I've heard my share of twangs to heavy Texas accents too. Every part of Texas is different and Austin and the towns nearby are a mix of a lot of different people from all over including Texans mainly from allll over the state who come or came at some point or other because well like Bliss they want a new good life where they feel like they fit in and belong and can be themselves, have a new life, fulfill their dreams, whatever. Make sense now? Much love and hope you are well! Oh especially in the alternative cultures and subcultures in and near Austin people don't usually have accents. And roller derby is an alternative culture/subculture obviously and Bliss and her friends in her hometown and in Austin both are pretty alternative - by alternative in these usages i just mean not super common, not the average person in the places where they live and such (though i must say roller derby is popular in austin texas and overall austin is an alternative city). hope this answers your question well. much love and peace.

some have the accents and some do not. I was raised in texas and spent most of my life there...and from an early age I tried to NOT have an accent...with some success (it comes out after about 9 beers). I think Daniel Stern nailed the accent though...sounds like all of my friends' dads...haha

People in what is called the Texas Triangle, meaning the urban region that includes Denton, Dallas, Ft. Worth, San Antonio, Houston, Galveston, and Austin, don't sound like J. R. Ewing. Movies and TV shows usually get that so wrong, and the locals make fun of it.

I've been told when I travel that I lack a Texas accent. I always reply that I actually do have one. Mine's real. :)

Speaking of local touches, loved that people in the movie were drinking Shiner Bock. That's the Texas beer we drink in the Triangle, not Lone Star. It's one of the best beers America produces, an American beer that Europeans wouldn't make fun of like most of our wimpy attempts at beer. :)

Texas is a state of transplants and has a history of that. So Texans, like my 4th generation self, don't even have a Texas accent!

And different regions of the state have different accents.

Does it really matter?

In my opinion, there is really no such thing as a Texas accent. The state is huge and quite diverse so you can't really pin down a speech pattern that sounds Texan. Grab someone from Beaumont, San Antonio, Dallas, and Lubbock and it's unlikely they'll have the same accent, if they have any discernible one at all. It's something that movies often get wrong; this movie didn't.