MovieChat Forums > The Colony (2013) Discussion > '100 things i learned from The Colony'

'100 things i learned from The Colony'

posted 11 years ago by HelmutsR
75 replies | jump to latest

Ha ha, i can't believe i'm making this topic to any movie :D The film started good, but my oh my the scrip was full of cliche, what a disappointment...

1. You ALWAYS wake up from a bad dream sitting up in your bed.

2. You drop your weapon just after beating your enemy unconscios.

3. Pistol has unlimited amount of ammo. It's true, look up every other movie.

4. Crossing a dangerous bridge is safer for everybody at once, the tighter the pack, the better!

5. You never ever explain what you saw to others, thou shall speak in riddles and delay vital intel.

... and the list goes on ...

T-X has co..corrupted my system

[–] jeffsh 11 years ago

51. Being a Cannibal gives you super human strength to climb down and up mountains faster than the average person can walk.

52. Cannibals have to be blown up at least 4 times before you get them all

53. Always take an inexperienced kid with you when you go on a rescue mission

54. The army should hire a few cannibals to be trackers.

-only uneducated minds are not open to any ideas other than their own.

[–] lguan73 11 years ago

55. Breath does not condense in freezing temperature.
56. In a time of scarcity and dismal living conditions, cosmetics are available for one person in the colony to use (i.e. Kai).
57. After being clobbered almost to death by a cannibal with superhuman strength, the first thing that one should do is ask the raging cannibal "What do you want?"in a casual manner.
58. Always mount a security camera high enough so a person can walk over to it and rip it out with two hands.
59. When someone counts 20 angry cannibals approaching using a pair of binoculars, always at least triple that number.
60. After relighting a fuse on a stick of dynamite, don't throw it towards the enemies, but make sure to hold on to it until it explodes.

[–] lokis_angels 10 years ago

I get the point of this thread, but I have to say there are a lot of in-movie expanations for certain choices. And there are some possible sort-of-obvious explanations.

Oh and @bornintoit: you ask to drop the subject of defending the movie, but it seems you are making an effort bashing it. Didn't you get a job on this production or something?

[–] Xarimus 10 years ago

33, 51 and 56 are self explanatory
lackluster movie is lackluster

[–] Xarimus 10 years ago

33, 51 and 56 are self explanatory
lackluster movie is lackluster

[–] Eradan 10 years ago

61. Ice Age cannibals are the greatest assault infantry in human history. They have absolutely no fear, they don't how care how technologically superior the enemy is, and and they don't care how many of them are killed. Furthermore, the only tactical direction they require is a big retarded guy whose orders consist of throwing his head back and going, "RAWWR".

62. Superior black males so totally outclass pathetic White guys that a puffy, upper-middle-aged black
like Lawrence Fishbourne can kill half-a-dozen cannibals in a row in hand-to-hand combat despite the superhuman strength said cannibals display at every other point in the movie.

[–] Eyev 10 years ago

63. When entering a cannibal colony and you see cannibals eating other humans, just stand there and stare at them until they turn around and see you.

[–] jpmonette 10 years ago

64. You get to see the Alpha male from the movie "I Am Legend" reprise his role only this time he gets to say the word "more"

[–] chino72 10 years ago

65. If somebody says something you don't like, headbutt them.

[–] hafaball-1 10 years ago

65. If somebody says something you don't like, headbutt them.

I don't even think he had time to say anything when he did that

66. In addition to headbutting, hitting someone with the butt of your gun also works well.

67. Even though the biggest fear in a population is disease, earrings are still allowed even though they can cause infection.

68. Apparently in a freezing cold Ice Age, seeds are still accessible, as well as many different plants, except the fungi for penicillin.

69. Laurence Fishburne doesn't mind playing the same exact role as before.

70. At least the cannibals in this movie weren't CGI like in I Am Legend.

"Soylent white is semeeeeen!"

[–] draftdubya-274-182961 10 years ago

Julian Richings is creepy in every movie or show he's been in

[–] HudsonDuster 10 years ago

Don't forget about the bees. They abandoned the bees. Oh No, Not The Bees !

HudsonDuster - For all their wars are merry
And all their songs are sad

[–] elasalle 10 years ago

71. No matter how bad things are and no matter how far in the future from the apocalyptic event this movie is placed, females will always have makeup.

[–] mike8897 10 years ago

Several funny posts on here. Here are mine:

1/Mason is a total *beep*

2/Leave a girl in charge when the wannabe leader is a crazed ex-commando

3/The cannibal leader has some serious anger issues

4/The locked door at the other site could be easily picked yet the cannibals couldn't possibly get in no matter how much time they had

5/Sam can apparently be punched very hard about 8 times in the head with out being concussed

6/The cannibal's head pust be cut in half to kill him even though you've already hit him about 10 times in the head with a metal object

7/When one of your men is killing as many of the others as he can, it's something that the leader can address when he gets a chance

8/When the cannibals have enough food to last a long time, they should leave it and hunt down a 2 stragglers

6/When the only exit to the underground haven is blown up, apparently you can still get out, and catch up to the escapees very quickly

[–] theboycopeland 10 years ago

72 - Always choose a death defying leap across a broken bridge instead of walking around the intact bit on the side with a railing.

73 - Never use a single bullet when you can waste a few more.

[–] conangirl 10 years ago

74. if everyone is DEATHLY afraid of a flu outbreak - just stand up, SNEEZE and cough uncontrollably in the room with several people in it. - Right before the meeting is adjourned.

75. If you have absolutely no concern for others well-being - just yourselves and you have a flu virus - well, just keep it between you and the wifey.

76. If you have the flu, and you know you're dying? Hell, plead for your very life until the end. Even if it does endangers the rest of the the colony.

77. Well, when you see someone else take a bullet and you have a flu virus, once there's a distraction? F&*&CK EVERYBODY AND RUN! there's a remote chance you'll survive the hypothermia, or the flu virus at it's worse stages.

78. If you know one of your crew is cowardly - well, bring him along in a very dangerous situation. Hell, he proved himself a coward quite a few times, just expect him to GROW A SPINE instantly in the time of SERIOUS danger.

79. Why did i even hope that Larry Fishbourne was going to make it to the very end of the film?

80. Why did the guy in the transmission inviting folks to bring their seeds, etc. look like the lead Cannibal?

some days, it's not worth chewing through the restraints..

[–] slipzen 10 years ago

You do realise that coughing and sneezing doesnt have to mean that you have the flu and are going to die, right?

[–] paulshaw100 10 years ago

81: Laurence Fishburne isn't Samuel L Jackson, nor does he feel the need to go on for hours about it.

“Love of life is born of the awareness of death, of the dread of it.”
Ian Fleming

[–] mandycw 10 years ago

REPEAT!
but it's so stupid, it bears repeating.

[–] TennesseeTarheel 10 years ago

Global warming brings on an ice age.

[–] clickbait 10 years ago

82. U dont need to use snowshoes when u walk long distance in deep snow, its enough to strap them upon ur back pack and walk...

83. In a fallen apocalyptic frozen world with almost no humans left, u have unlimited electricty to keep a gigantic bunker running and even a satellite without even worry that it runs out...

~If the realistic details fails, the movie fails~

[–] tenpiece 10 years ago

84. While crawling through vents you make no noise. In fact after you hop out of the vent you are in a better attack position than the person on the ground.

85. Being a cannibal means you somehow know the terrain better than the people that have been there for years.

[–] laurasilver626 10 years ago

86. Even after the fall of civilization, people will still post videos to the internet.

87. Cannibals can always keep their food supply in the hottest and most humid part of a building without fear of spoilage or food-borne illness.

88. Fighting the super-strong cannibal leader to the death will not leave you bruised or winded. In fact, you'll need to tell the lazy a$$es outside to get moving on a 1000 mile trek to plant some seeds.

[–] Lestat72 9 years ago

89. When throwing a stick of dynamite into a smokestack, the debris will conveniently collapse away from you and your buddy.

90. Cannibals sharpen their teeth into fangs. That's how you know they're cannibals.

91. Your lighter will always work fine - until you REALLY need it to work, at which point it will repeatedly fail to light.

92. Then when you finally light your dynamite, it will go out before exploding. Your next 20 attempts to re-light it will fail.

93. When confronting an out-of-control villain, if you point a gun at him and demand that he drop his, all it takes to get you to drop yours is a friend of yours stumbling back to the colony in distress. Then you should drop your gun and forget all about the bad guy with the gun because he probably won't do anything bad now that you've dropped your guard. Or not.

94. Shaky cameras can make it look like 20 feral cannibals with knives and clubs stand a chance against 10 people with handguns, rifles, and shotguns.

[–] laslose99 9 years ago

95. When you see crazed cannibals running at you at full speed, you always have to say to the guy standing next to you: "Come on" or "Let's go" because you would have never thought to run away otherwise.

[–] perryvashti 9 years ago

Think we are on number 96...

96. Air condition vents are large enough to have fights in.

97. Even after you know there is a warm place on earth it's okay to ask, "What do we do now?" After you escape from a gang of cannibals.

[–] caroline-phelan 8 years ago

98. When going out on a dangerous expedition, bring the least experienced guy and the guy with a love interest with you. Then the least experienced guy gets killed first in a horribly brutal way; as the hero you will die next (heroically) trying to save the remaining guy. Because you know he will do his best to get back home, owing to aforementioned love interest.

99. As the female confronting the mutinous rebel, get distracted by love interest returning in exhausted state and sprint past mutinous rebel, while throwing down your rifle. Then get taken by surprise when mutinous rebel manages to sneak up behind you and whops you on the head.

100. Mutinous rebels never make any noise when sneaking up behind people in the snow.

[–] aer71367-313-155069 8 years ago

Special add on:

101. Bill Paxton will always play the total Douchebag of the group in any movie!

[–] LucusNon 7 years ago

special bonus:

102. There's only one rule now ...... survive.

[–] eukodol 7 years ago

103: Eating human flesh causes your teeth to sharpen