Ways to save this


Ok, first let me express my fanboy loyalty and my disapproval for remakes in general, and this one in special, especially regarding the fact no one bothered to inform Argento, let alone ask for permission.
But let's face it folks, this one's likely to happen and there ain't no petition to stop it. So as much as I'm inclined to paint it black, I still clinge to hope this won't be one of the remakes that look more like a spoof on the original than anything else.
I've been trying to figure out ways to keep this from becoming a total disgrace and realized that some decisions might have already planted rays of hope. Among them:
1.) Casting an Italian director
This shows at least some respect for so called "world cinema" and it's strengths. At least it's not going to be another "American remake of a foreign film". Which leads to...

2.) Keeping the original setting
Germany in the 1970s to be precise. Time and place are essential components of this movie, unthinkable to have it set in present day America. It's all about that euro feel.

3.) Giving nods to the original.
Which has already happened with casting Jessica Harper. Hard to deny this makes us at least somewhat curious what here role might be.

So far for what we know. But what else would be necessary to make this a dignified reimagining? A few thoughts from me:

4.) Keep the original score
Or a slightly modified version. The Suspiria theme has always reminded of something that would come from an old music box. I could really see using one as a McGuffin, maybe with a spinning ballerina figurine? This would be a great chance to turn the soundtrack into diegetic music, which isn't too far from "reality" as they actually played the music on set to let the cast interact with it.

5.) Don't overexplain
Remakes, reboots, prequels. They all tend to answer questions we never asked. What makes many of these simple stories great, is the underlying mystery to them. Adding a complex backstory to each character and trying to forcefully fill all the gaps keeps the viewers from using their imagination. So if you want to shed light on certain story aspects, do so with caution. Please leave something of the mystery.

That's pretty much of what I wish for in this movie. Can anyone think of other ways to save this project? (Besides that it should never be made)

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I think it will be set in the 70s because there was an article about them building a fake Berlin wall in front of that hotel in Italy where they were filming

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Your ideas are all wrong.

1. The director - Luca Guadagnino. Who's that? Nobody. Fire him and replace him with the greatest auteur of all time, Michael Bay.

2. The setting - Germany in the 70s was too dark and gloomy to be enjoyable. Set it in modern day L.A. instead. Sunshine and women in bikinis make everything better.

3. Nobody cares about some old movie. What we need instead are pop culture references. At least one every two minutes.

4. The score - No. No. No. We need a bitchin' metal soundtrack to get everyone's blood pumping, not some silly euro-techno crap like the Ass-Goblins.

5. Everything needs to be explained. "We want to leave things to the audience's imagination" is just an excuse for laziness.

6. Witches aren't scary. You know what's scary? Terrorists. And some girl at a ballet school isn't going to be able to handle a group of terrorists, so ditch her and replace her with the U.S. military. SPOILER ALERT - The military wins.

God, I'm so hard right now.

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Good, let the hate flow through you.
But are you really sure the soundtrack shouldn't rather consist of an epic choir chanting unintelligable jibberish?

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Sure, if (a) the choir is backed by a bitchin' metal soundtrack and (b) the choir is screaming instead of chanting.

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Agree on all points. The original sucked, hope they learned from their mistakes and are going to create a hip reboot for younger generation

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6.) MOST IMPORTANTLY: dump Chloe Moretz! With her in the cast, this is guaranteed to fail. We don't need a feministic lib-tard bringing down this unwanted sequel any further.

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I don't have a problem with Moretz, but just to make you happy, I will say this: she is credited as "Patricia" in this, which makes me think that she will die within the first 10 minutes of the film (you know, like Pat Hingle in the original version)

I really felt quite distressed at not receiving an invitation - Maleficent

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I don't have a problem with Moretz, but just to make you happy, I will say this: she is credited as "Patricia" in this, which makes me think that she will die within the first 10 minutes of the film (you know, like Pat Hingle in the original version)

Pat Hingle from Batman was in this?
But, with my luck, Chloe will end up playing one of Tilda Swinton's minions, because Chloe LIVES to play murderers in dark, R-rated films.

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Pat Hingle from Batman was in this?


You silly goose 

I really felt quite distressed at not receiving an invitation - Maleficent

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You silly goose

Regardless, I don't think we're lucky enough for Chloe to play the first victim. I'm sure she'll be either Tilda's minion, or perhaps an annoying best friend or the stereotypical bitch character.
But, if I'm wrong, and Chloe Moretz is the first victim, not only will I go see the movie, I'll give it a standing ovation when that scene plays. It'll be like in House of Wax when Paris Hilton's character was killed.

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I don't know how similar this remake will be to the original film from 1977, but it seems like they aren't changing the characters' names, at least. If you dislike Moretz that much, I don't think you're going to have to put up with her for more than a few minutes. Assuming you have seen the original "Suspiria", you should know that Pat doesn't last long. Of course, I don't think Eva Axen, the actress who played Pat in 1977 was as famous as Moretz is these days, so I'm sure they will make her character a little bit more noticeable, but I'm guessing it will be like Drew Barrymore in "Scream", somehow.

I really felt quite distressed at not receiving an invitation - Maleficent

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so I'm sure they will make her character a little bit more noticeable

Well there wouldn't be a point in making her scantily-clad, as there would be nothing to see.

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