Is when he says flat out (about Don King) "I attacked him...I stomped him...and I...I jus stomped him" lol I cracked up the way he said it and in the way that's what Don King deserved. And not to forget..."Put cha mother in a straightjacket" and "I'll **** you in front of everybody and make you love me".
Oh my god, this thread is cracking me up! I've just had a good long laugh reading through these lines, haha.
I too thought the stuff he came out with was hilarious, comedy gold. The "skullduggery" bit and the rant at that "straitjacket" guy was just priceless.
I also liked this one:
"How dare they challenge me with their somewhat primitive skills?"
The "somewhat" seemed like a bizarre thing to say in that context.
We call this the Loom of Fate.
I enjoyed noting how his kids are "jetsetters" who, apparently, travel to Tibet.
"There is no inner peace. There is only nervousness and death." - Fran Lebowitz
This is a great thread!
The line that I loved, it isn't really funny, but when Mike's talking about his ideal woman, and he says.....
"Even if she's 90lbs, I want a woman who jumps in to help me if I'm in a fight, even if I'm winning."
It's that "even IF I'm winning". Like, who the *beep* is Mike Tyson gonna be fighting where he ISN'T winning???
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Yeah, you're right, Tyson, what a nancy boy. He might as well put on a dress and start swishing around.
It's amazing to me how many men who could batter heavyweight champions are out there posting on the internet - you'd think they'd be making use of their astounding physical attributes instead. I box a bit, and I'm a heavyweight, and I can say without a shadow of doubt that if I ever got in any kind of fight with Mike Tyson, prime or not, that he would straight up murder my ass inside of 10 seconds.
Can't say about MMA, because I'm not into gay porn.
Just kidding.
Agree
And most MMA guys couldn't make it in boxing that's why they go to MMA
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My signature below. ΒΆ:-) minus 'bite' of course. Lol...who uses 'discombobulatingly' in everyday talk?!
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"My-(bite)-power is so discombobulatingly devastating..." : )
Great thread..there's so many great lines in this and a lot of the best have been said but I'm just watching it right now and this line had me rolling. He's talking about confronting Don King about him stealing money from and he says, (without any emotion) "I confronted him and he basically denied it, and then I attacked him, in front of the Beverly Hills Hotel." Hahaha just the way he says it like it was nothing. And then he goes on to say "and then I stomped him, and I stomped him and I stomped him..and I don't know I guess I blacked out at this moment."
shareOr when he says something like "I went to Moscow in Russia, they had a parade for me. Who ever though they woulda had a parade for me in Moscow!? They don't even speak ENGLISH in Moscow." I LOL-led a lot
shareThere are a lot, Mike brilliantly combines high-register English with African-American vernacular.
The 'slimy, reptilian *beep* comment about Don King is great. I also liked how after getting emotional speaking about Cus he remembers how he thought 'I'm gonna stick with this boxing *beep*
When he erroneously speaks of how he performed fellatio on a woman is also amusing.
http://www.hawkensian.com/
The bit right at the end after the fight with Mcbribe when the interviewer asks him ''so why did you agree to this fight'' and he says "to take care of my bills basically". Haha so honest. No one else would ever admit that.
shareI originally only planned to watch bits and pieces of this, then went back and watched the rest, as it was pretty entertaining. But I must have STILL missed more than I thought because a lot of these lines in the first posts I didn't hear him say such as ANYTHIGN about don king or anything about leeches. I thought I only missed less than 5 minutes form when I skipped a minute or two here and there when it looked boring where it would show him outside walking and I guess some of these lines happened in those parts where I didn't even see him talking... I did see the fellatio on woman comment he made though. But he didn't come off as stupid, really during this.
share