MovieChat Forums > The Kids Are All Right (2010) Discussion > Kids need both a male and a female paren...

Kids need both a male and a female parent or role model.


Gay couples, alone mothers, alone fathers or parents with at very feminin father or masculin mother. It's all the same. If the kids don't get influence from both the masculin and feminin, they end up psychological screwed in some way or another. Of course you could argue for a very masculin mother/father with a very feminim mother/father, but that would have to be a mother/father that are extremely maculing/feminin to the point where you could hardly detect the other side in the person and that's far from the case in many of these relationships. If they have gay parents or if the mother/father is alone, at least let a member of the opposite sex have some influence. It could be a friend, Family member or the kids biological dad/mom(like in this movie... Fact is, every kid needs both.

I liked this film, right untill Mark Ruffalo character gets labeled as the bad guy. Was this directed/written by a lesbian, because the writer/directors bias shines through to the point where i just thought "wow this person is delusional"... Basicly every main character gets unlikeable after that, except for maybe the daughter. And it didn't help that we didn't even got a closure for Mark Ruffalo's character who more or less was the only likeable character left despite his actions.

These biased movies where the writer/director tries to make a point, but just ends up embarrassing themself and making themself look like close minded delusional idiots just gets on my nerve. They make a almsot great movie with a great idea, great story, great acting and just screws it all up with a horrible ending, because they tried to make some stupid point that is only true in their own head and other people head who are just as biased. The same could almost be said about Ricky Gervais "The Invention of Lying", great idea, but to much focus on his own biased beliefs.

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This is post is so ironic it's hilarious

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Nothing ironic about it mate... Im neither screwed in the head or embarrassing myself. Of course i could see why you would think that though, like i can see why religious people think atheist are embarrising themself when they state that God doesn't exist. They judge atheist from their own close-minded, biased and dare i say brainwashed views of the world. In your case it's probably more indoctrinated view(you might call it self learned view, as every idiot who doesn't any better do) of the world, than brainwashed.

I can also see why you would call this post ironic, if you deem my views here close-minded and indoctrinated. And they are somewhat indoctrinated, everyones views of the world are, not close-minded though. You see, unlike you, i have proof of my views. I base them not only on experience, but also on cutting edge science. Im not against gay people having kids, i'm against children not having both a femine and masculing influence in their life. I've not only experienced the destructive force it can have on a child not to have that, i've researched the subject deeply too.

And when i say screwed in the head, i don't mean like the children are going to belong in a mental hospital, they can probaly function well enough in school and society. I mean that they are gonna have to work a lot on themself to achieve true maturity and true mental balance in their life, which not many people have. Of course children with both a father and a mother have to work on that too, but they don't have to fight as hard to achieve that balance, but they may have to fight against their indoctrinated views of the world and their close-mindedness.


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[deleted]

Actually, every scientifically rigorous study of children raised by same-sex parents contradicts what you claim. The number-one factor in determining if kids do well is a supportive and loving family. Even poverty is less of a factor.

Mark Ruffalo WAS a bad guy in this film. (or rather, he displayed bad behavior) He slept with a married woman, tried to alienate the kids away from their moms, and wanted to co-opt the kids because he realized he enjoyed the Dad role. They didn't do anything horrible to him--simply told him he wasn't welcome anymore. Joni, being 18, could have seen him if she wanted and chose not to.

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Actually, every scientifically rigorous study of children raised by same-sex parents contradicts what you claim. The number-one factor in determining if kids do well is a supportive and loving family. Even poverty is less of a factor.


Think before you post. You don't even seem to know what i claim. That love is important doesn't contradict what im saying AT ALL, it just shows that there are other factors, and the importance of having both a masculine and feminine influence isn't the only important thing. Read my other reply and stop and think genious.

Mark Ruffalo WAS a bad guy in this film. (or rather, he displayed bad behavior) He slept with a married woman, tried to alienate the kids away from their moms, and wanted to co-opt the kids because he realized he enjoyed the Dad role. They didn't do anything horrible to him--simply told him he wasn't welcome anymore. Joni, being 18, could have seen him if she wanted and chose not to.


My point exactly... The writer/Director wrote him like that, making it some sort of propaganda piece. It was so obvious, that he remained the only likeable character at the end - for other reasons too of course, but that was one of the big ones.

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[deleted]

Im sorry, but where do you see me claim that loving, caring and supportive parents isn't important as well?

I agree that that is more important than having both a masculin and feminem parent, but the importance of a loving, caring and supportive parent couple, doesn't make having both a masculin and feminem influence less important!!

My movie diary and every movie i've seen
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[deleted]

You should really read my reply to the other two posters, im not going to repeat myself. The last thing i am, is wrong!! What you are assuming is wrong however, very wrong!!

Im not saying that a gay couple can't be great loving parents, and im not saying that love isn't important. What im saying is that the kid need both a masculine and feminine influence, in some ways it even equals the importance of love and care. But of course love and care is more important overall.

But again, read what i have written to the other posters before you assume the implications of what im saying, genius!

My movie diary and every movie i've seen
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[deleted]

I DID re-read your first post


Did i say you should re-read my first post? No, i said you should read my reply to the other two posters, which explain it more in depth. Are you mentally challenged or something

Anyway the only thing that really matters in your reply is this:

Me

psychological screwed in some way or another


You

THAT, to me


Tells you everything that is wrong with your assumptions!

Think for yourself, use your brain. Show us you got one!

My movie diary and every movie i've seen
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[deleted]

There are many ways to get screwed up. That you try to narrow the words down to only meaning one thing is not my problem. It's your bias however and eventually your problem if you do that in other areas of your life.

Love from your parents doesn't guarantee emotional and mental balance in your life. You talk like the only thing you need is love, are you really that narrow minded and stupid? No backpedaling here genius.

Homophobia lol, my best friend is gay and i have many gay friends.

And what makes you think im not a psychologist? I may have trouble expressing myself in the English language and with the English vocabulary since it isn't my native language, but i know my psychology, a lot better than you it would seem.

My movie diary and every movie i've seen
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[deleted]

I'm just going off of what you said originally...


No, you try to make two things that are basicly different (Raised by love and not being screwed in the head) into the same thing. It's your meta programs talking, and nowhere near objective fact.

You seem very agitated and short tempered... and kind of an a-hole. Maybe YOU were not raised by two loving parents, one male and one female.


Hmm, a lot of projecting here it seems. Im none of those things, maybe an a-hole, but that's subjective to the perciever and haven't been called one before. And since people's oppinion about other people are always a projection from their own narrow minded view of how people should behave and talk to not be an a-hole, i suggest you take a look at yourself before casting judgement about other people's expressions.

It's your own tone of voice - that you read what i say with - in your own head that make it seem like that. Im not writing this in any of those mental states though, but you might be reading it as such.'

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[deleted]

[deleted]

I never said you didn't quote me, where did you get that idea? I say you mix things together and try to make things that are basicly different, into meaning the same thing, which it doesn't... Classic meta program screwing with your head right there. Again, "screwed up" can mean more, than you seem to imagine it can. I still stand by everything i said and everything you quoted me saying :) It's you that need to differentiate things.

My movie diary and every movie i've seen
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[deleted]

Well, it's not about meeting every kid raised by gay parents. It's about knowing how the human brain works in the various areas and that's universal, which is why i know am not wrong, although i have seen first hand evidence of it myself too, many times.

However, that's not to say the kind of screwed up im talking about is permenant in anyway. The kids just have to work on themself growing up and through their adult life to gain the neurons and links between them that they miss because of a lack of female og male influence. It's a lot of work though, but quite possible to do so. Sadly most people are ignorant about this or too lazy or close-minded to even consider working on themself in that area.

And your sarcasm doesn't make your oppinion more right or prove any point, although i assume you think it does, since you use it.

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[deleted]

Well, that i agree with. As i said earlier, love is defiently the most important thing. And str8 parents can be even more fvcked than gay parents, no doubt about it. However, that don't exclude a feminem or masculin influence in their as a possibillity, they could easily get a friend or something like that to take that role.

My movie diary and every movie i've seen
http://letterboxd.com/sublimeken/films/diary/

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Zeligtony is in every way justified and correct in everything he's said. I agree with you 100%.

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He/she isn't though! I know that for a fact!

It's funny... People always deduce things to cause and effect being only one cause, one effect, when that is the biggest lie of all. People need to think outside the box before replying to this thread! The close-minded bias is unbelievable.

There are certain mirror neurons which your brain will simply not form growing up wihtout both a feminem and masculing influence, that's a fact. They will become harder for your brain to form the older you get, another fact!

What do we need these mirror neurons for? Attracting the opposite sex naturally and not ending up in a dead end relationship for one... True independence, better control of fear, a multitude of mental illnesses, disciplin, abundance mentality (more important than you think) and the most important thing: true empathy (not to be mistaken with sympathy which many people do).... You can't truely understand someone masculin/feminem if you have been enterily raised by the opposite force. Lack of empathy is the source of all conflict!

That is not to say that children of straight parents can't lack empathy...There are many causes of lack of empathy and a lack of a masculin and feminem influence is just one of them.

My movie diary and every movie i've seen
http://letterboxd.com/sublimeken/films/diary/

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The invention of lying was a satire. You take it too seriously. However, I believe an Artists first goal should be to express themselves and not to try and please everyone. You're obviously religious and didn't like it. That's Art, because it asked you questions you didn't like and made you feel something.



That being said, I agree that they were off on this film.

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I'm not religious in any shape or form! The Invention of Lying had a great premise, but Gervais own bias ruined that. You are obviously biased as well if you consider TIoL to be art. It didn't ask any questions i didn't like, it flat out said that God doesn't exist and anybody who says otherwise is either lying or to stupid/ignorant/naive to know better!

That's not art, that is close-minded bias and not any better than the religious douchebags who try to convince you that you're going to hell/not going to heaven if you don't accept Jesus/Muhammed/Moses as your true mesiah and prophet or something like that.

The Invention of Lying is no more art than any religious propaganda film. That is just atheistic propaganda.

Funny thing though, you make the same mistake as basicly everyone in this thread and try to put stuff (in this case me) into a close-minded box, making Things that ARE NOT the same into the same thing(My views = i'm religious) and interpretate from that viewpoint alone.

My movie diary and every movie i've seen
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Masculine/ feminine is not the same as gay/lesbian. Perhaps that's where the misunderstanding originates.

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Deleting other people's posts when they disagree with you but leaving up only your replies (OP) leaves this board VERY one-sided and doesn't help your argument at all. Go ahead and delete this one, too. Then you'll be all alone on the board just as you like.

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WTF? I havent deleted anyone's post LOL. Imdb doesn't work that way, im not able to do that. I you look, it says that the poster him/herself deleted them, for god knows what reason.

My movie diary and every movie i've seen
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