An enigma

Mystery, wrapped in a riddle, as they say.

I have so many questions.

1) How can this happen so many times? This and Rat Race have the same weirdness about them; both are awful movies that have lots of celebrities happily signing to play roles in them. Why would anyone agree to play any role in a movie like this or Rat Race, unless it's purely for the money?

2) What's with the casual animal cruelty? The elephants on ice? What the.. why?

3) What are you supposed to feel when Myers does that uncomfortable, unfunny 'hee hee hee hee' (phonetically, 'hihihihii') thing? Geez, if there was such a thing as 'internal vomiting', that's what would happen every time. What's this supposed to be??

4) Why do people still seem to think 'disgusting' equals 'funny'?

5) The most important question of all; _HOW_ can the same man be ingenious enough to create things like Wayne's World and Austin Powers - superbly hilarious movies - and out of touch and dumb enough to make a movie like this?

How can genius and stupidity reside in the same individual?

6) Why are there no funny jokes in this movie? Are there even jokes per se? All I see is stupidity and gross crap, plus weird overacting and things that make no sense.

I love comedies, I love funny movies, I even like to watch movies that aren't that funny but have a charm, and have earned their place in the world, like 'RV' with Robin Williams (though that has its disgusting moments, too).

I am a sucker for Zucker movies (usually, Rat Race is still a big shocking trauma in my memory), I appreciate Police Squad, Airplane!, The Naked Gun movies, Hot Shots, and so on and so forth. Heck, I even defend and love 'Wrongfully Accused' and the 'Scary Movie' series.

But this thing..? 'Love Guru'? It doesn't know what it wants to be, it never reveals if Myers' character is serious or a hack, fraud, or if he believes his own crap or not. It's a confusing, overly-long mess that is based on the most predictable cliché formula core as possible, while overloading everything else with flashy nonsense that has nothing funny about it.

Who greenlit this and why? Is there no quality checking in hollyweird?? Why did this movie get made?

Celine Dione's clichéic bubble pop song about driving all night is alone 1000 times better than this movie.