Where is the '10 Things I Learned While Watching 'Skinwalkers' ' Post?
Someone start it off!
shareThe werewolves ate it.
xx
August 7, 2007- Edward Eclipses
myspace.com/kimberlyduwe
No 1 = not to watch this crap again
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MovieChat Forums > Skinwalkers (2007) Discussion > Where is the '10 Things I Learned While ...
1. Everyone in town is packing heat.
2. Beware of nice smilling Grandma.....with .357 Magnum.
3. Try and reason with your ex hubby/werewolf NOT to eat your son, But IMMEDATIELY the shoot brother-in-law that is trying to save your son.
"Marge.. I just realized..I am the "owww"..in the word.."nowww"..
4. An elderly woman is capable of firing a massive revolver with absolutely no recoil.
5. If you leave your girlfriend with the bad guys, she will kill you later for it. She doesn't care that you love her, she's going to kill you.
6. Stan Winston really needed to make a house payment.
7. See? Slasher movies aren't the only genre that has to have a token black guy.
8. It's not a stereotype. Postal workers do in fact carry guns in those bags.
9. Werewolves are capable of founding and running an entire town with a solely werewolf population without anyone getting suspiscious.
10. Falcons are smart enough to track down an entire family over several hundred miles, but they're not smart enough to avoid a giant oncoming RV.
11. Hospital employees have no problem with you walking down the hall brandishing a firearm.
12. After being shot in the leg, the correct response is to say, very calmly, "You shot me you little prick."
13. As we already learned from 'Ghost Rider', if there's a supernatural bad guy on the loose, their first stop will always be to massacre everyone in a biker bar in the middle of nowhere.
14. Hitting a bird will cause your trailer to spiral out of control.
15. High school jocks turn into whiny sissies when their girlfriend becomes a cold blooded killing machine.
16. If your girlfriend is a werewolf and is threatening to kill you, she means it. Just shoot the bitch. In the head. Not the leg.
17. If you've spent the last 12 years trying to hunt down and murder your wife and son, chased them all over the state, murdered everyone close to them, and caused them untold amounts of stress and fear, don't worry. Everything will be forgiven, and you can be a happy, perfectly normal family unit as soon as you're not a werewolf anymore.
"When you have a fat friend, there are no see-saws. Only catapults."
18. in a werewolf movie there will always be empty streets and about 5 residents in a town fit for thousands.
19. when in doubt copy Terminator 2 and hide in a factory.
20. on daylight and sex can turn werewolfs back into humans, coz no one wants to see sweaty furry man creatures doing it
This is YOUR LIFE and it is ending one minute at a time!
21. Werewolfs are notoriously bad shots.
shareWerewolfs are notoriously bad shots.
The only reason I came to this board was to see if anyone else had a problem with that. During the first town shootout scene, I thought I might be watching a GI Joe cartoon. No bad guys get hit...
AVP:R Opens everywhere on Christmas!
P.S. Happy Birthday Jesus share
Ditto.
share25. You can have a massive OK Coral style shoot, including blowing up the gas station, smack dab in the middle of town on the only main street during the hieght of a business day and not a damn person will even peek thru a curtain to see what the hell is happening, and a car won't even show up.
26. You can hide a double wide triple long reinforced armored truck in your piece of *beep* yard and no one in town will ask any questions so long as it has a *beep* paint job.
27. You and your family can noisily shapeshift, and disappear for entire nights for 13 years, and keep it a secret, so long as the the human that lives with you is your brother's widow.
28. Leather, which is strips of dried animal hide, and stainless steel to cover a Were's claws, and to bolt the Were to the wall, are strong enough to hold a Blood Lusting Were...But s/he can eat thru flesh and bone any other time.
29. No one will whisper that you're a pervert if they see your Leather & Metal Bondage Gear hanging from the walls in your house.
30. One drop of Stephen's Blood will make a Were no longer Bloodlust (but it didn't say it would keep the Were from shapeshifting...the curse is bloodlusting.)
31. People who had no idea what your son looked like before he was 13, will suddenly start walking up to you and asking you for the cure as if his photo was on the nightly news for all to see.
32. You're going to ignore the fact that your husband left you for another woman who was way prettier than yourself, and tried to kill you and your son, and they were having mad moon sex all the time while you and your brother in law raised your sickly son and the fact that he tried to eat your kid like a snacky cake and suddenly you're going to be a happy family unit.
Love, Grace & Peace, Gunner
Mostly I watched Skinwalkers because I'm really a big Jonas (Elias Koteas) fan & it's great that he's not some psychopath that looks like he needed a flea dip & massive traquilizers for a change...but it still irks me that he looks like he got offed & that it looks like Caleb, Rachel & thier Magical Curative Munchkin checked into Motel 6~Gunner
33. The moon sometimes turns red. Just cause.
34. It's strangely refreshing to hear awful dialogue delivered in an emotionless monotone.
35. If your curse/redemption formula is amazingly random, make sure it's also completely retarded.
36. Grandmas make amazing action heroes.
37. Four-inch fangs can rip apart some kid's neck, but leave him completely unharmed.
38. The best way to kill your quarry is not to surround his isolated house. Instead, ride into the center of town in broad daylight on four roaring Harleys, dressed like huge badasses, then walk around randomly with your shotguns in full view until some old lady starts shooting at you.
39. If you happen to stop by a place named the "Last Chance Saloon", don't miss the regularly scheduled gang rape.
40. PG-13 sex and violence is always a huge box office draw.
41. If the half-breed savior of your persecuted race randomly passes out, make sure to take him to a hospital, get his blood tested, and have him tell the nurse he's a werewolf. This plan will remove all suspicion, and thereby make it impossible for the bad guys to find you.
42. C'mon, people! For the last time, it's ready, THEN aim, THEN fire!
22. Uwe Boll just found his *soulmate* LOL!!!
Seth Cohen
Welcome to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubtshare
"22. Uwe Boll just found his *soulmate* LOL!!!"
Agree, I've even thought Uwe Boll was using an alias to direct this movie
"Agree, I've even thought Uwe Boll was using an alias to direct this movie"
i doubt it. the secial efx in this movie were too much for uwe bol's taste. i mean, anything more than $0.50 per pair of fangs, $1.00 per pair of contacts, and $10.00 for forced child labor cgi is too expensive for him.
"Oh, so you were finish?! Well, allow me to retort."
-Samuel L. Jackson
23. You can name your generic werewolf movie after a being from Navajo beliefs without bothering to find out what those beliefs actually are...it's not like anybody's going to be offended, right?
(See this thread:
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0461703/board/nest/80287822)
---
"Little do they know how little I know about the little there is to know." - Neddy Seagoon
That the guy who directed JASON X can make a bad film...Who knew.
share24. Stronghold is just another word for cave (Seriously. WTF?).
++?????++ Out of Cheese Error. Redo From Start.share
I can watch a 1:30 minutes movie in 30 minutes, while working !
share43. Nana makes sweaters out of self-repairing cotton and love.
44. Werewolves operate in four man sleeper cells.
45. Unlike human 13 year olds, werewolf halfbreed 13 year olds are P.I.M.P.s and have a soft spot for nurses.
46. If you capture an enemy werewolf in town, take them to the designated werewolf P.O.W. camp in the woods, that way the enemy know where to come looking for them.
47. One of the werewolves is starting to feel the change. Coincidentally, it's the same one who spent the night with the enemy and could possibly have been turned. Lock down the "good" werewolves first, then turn your attention to locking down this changing werewolf.
48. One hand is not enough to operate a carribeaner, better to just pull against it giving your daughter enough time to kill he boyfriend.
49. If you have to abandon your armored vehicle full of weapons, take only the shotgun with you. What are the chances that you'll need more than that?
50. Random unknown factories have steel cages that lock FROM THE INSIDE.
51. Werewolves are deaf. Make as much noise as you want hopping on steel grates moving through afore mentioned random factory.
52. 13 years is not long enough to learn how to shoot with any accuracy.
53. "Learn how to load a gun" is all the instruction a 13 year old needs on how to load a gun.
Skinwalkers are werewolves during the night and model by day.