Whoa, seriously? Are you sure that you actually like T-Ray? Or maybe just the cuteness factor of Paul Bettany? If T-Ray was played by a fat, ugly man, would you still care for him?
He falls madly in love, and then for no reason his woman falls OUT of love with him
we don't know she fell out of love with him "for no reason." it seems to me that people don't BECOME abusers because of one tragic event in their life. Yes, he was torn up by her leaving him. But don't you think it's highly likely that whatever selfish, abusive tendencies he later exhibited might have also been present before Deborah left him? That those tendencies might, in fact, be the REASON she fell out of love with him? Nobody falls in love with an abuser. They are usually extremely charming and loveable in the beginning. it's only once the relationship is secure and they have a hook on the other person that those qualities tend to come out.
Yes, he is a little hard on Lily w/ the grits stuff (not as bad as the belt strap talk we heard later from August, let's get some perspective on the times they were living in people)
oh really? so using a belt strap on someone (which, incidentally, can be done so as not to leave a mark OR pain longer than the length of minutes) is somehow worse than leaving your child to kneel on grits FOR AN HOUR, which physically tears the skin and prevents full range of motion hours later? Understand, I'm in no way promoting the belting of children. But I do think we should have some perspective here. It wasn't that long ago (my childhood, and I'm not even 30) that belting was common and usually not as severe as the extreme cases that can actually be classified as abuse. but kneeling on grits isn't dependent on amount of force: you're either on them or you're not.
so for me, the fact that this guy habitually uses this as a form of punishment for his daughter, in addition to the other physical abuse (slapping, pushing) and extreme emotional neglect, is good evidence that T-Ray deserved everything he got from the woman he loved.
T Ray's life clearly falls apart when she is not around, so he goes and finds her and wants to bring her HOME. He has some major abandonment issues, and while his daughter does finally show she understands why life has been so rough on him and what he went through, she STILL sh*ts on him and refuses to come back with him. For that one small moment, it wasn't all about Lily, and then that moment is immediately gone. She doesn't even have the decency/respect to call him dad or father. She *beep* calls him T Ray!
So...you aren't faulting T-Ray for thinking only of himself for the entire length of his daughter's 14 year life? You don't find him the most selfish, self-centered character in the entire story? You think it was asking too much of us to expect him to show his daughter ANY affection? God forbid he ever, at any point, act like he loves her. What in the world has this man EVER done to deserve the respect of his daughter?
I mean, seriously. The man obviously has abandonment issues, yes. But he couldn't even PRETEND that he wanted her back because he cared about her, even a little? It seemed pretty obvious to me that he only wanted her back because he couldn't stand the idea of someone else leaving him. Once again, it's all about T-Ray. He knows exactly what damage he's doing to his daughter, but he doesn't care one bit.
Yes, I do pity T-Ray. Did he get the short end of the stick? What a ludicrous suggestion. If he'd treated Lily halfway decently, I doubt she would ever have run away. She's pretty resilient, and she can deal with a lot. But why would you defend a physical and emotional abuser against his victim? So insane.
"Well!!! Since when did you become the physical type?"
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