I Crashed My Own Cousin's Wedding- Because they did NOT invite Me!

I am fond of any comedy like this, but the truth is I hate weddings. They are merely a way to show off wealth and also exclude people- including family members!

Earlier last year, my own cousin failed to invite me to his expensive wedding on the east coast. Even though the bride's father was a millionaire and paid for it all. While my cousin (and my terrible phony aunt) invited my parents and closer relatives, the "cousins were not invited because of costs." Bullshit. A millionaire could have afforded to let the 7 of us join, considering there were people at this wedding that barely knew my cousin, but got invited because they lived in the same area. I even offered to buy my own flights and hotel, but my aunt said "Sorry but only exclusive relatives can come. You're not invited."

I showed up anyways. Since my cousin's bride to be was rich, they announced this disgusting gala in the Washington Post. It was being held at huge venue. I arrived after the ceremony, since the best part of these events is the dinner and drinks. When I sat myself at a table with other random strangers I had never seen, a woman asked me "Who are you? I didn't see you on the guest list." I snapped and said "Actually I'm family. I dealt with my cousin every Xmas and Thanksgiving yet for some reason, he didn't want me here on his big day. I came always. Pass the champagne please."

My aunt was furious when she saw me at the party, as was my cousin. The bride was actually polite and said "Well you're here now, enjoy the dinner." But it was the cruel father that was the worst. He approached me and said he had spent a pretty penny on the wedding, and that I was barging in and would need to reimburse him. I laughed at him, saying he was a wealthy man already. My mother was also furious, telling me "Your other cousins respected the decision of the family and didn't crash. You will not be forgiven for this." What a bitch.

Before leaving the party, I ran my finger through their multi-layered, $5,000 wedding cake. I did it with a glass of champagne in one hand, and a copy of the Blu Ray Wedding Crashers in the other. Thinking I was being funny, I heard audible gasps. Before security was able to get to me, I bolted and stayed at a hotel downtown.

My family now refuses to speak to me but I don't care. Im 33 years old and realize people are selfish and weddings are nothing but ways to brag about status. I facebooked my cousin and said "I'll be sure to ALSO attend your funeral." He has never talked to me since.