The breast is NOT the disturbing part!

Interesting, revisiting this thread after 10 years. I don't remember a thing about the movie, but appreciate the analysis that has come forth in the thread. To answer your question, yes, I am a "gay man" and as such I have a tendency to react to cultural depictions of gayness as something superficial and changeable.

I think that most of the commenters in this thread express a deeper understanding of the movie than I did, but I'm not sure they express a deeper understanding of homosexuality. I mean, yes there is a continuum of homo-/heterosexuality, but in all ages you have had to make the binary decision: Am I conforming to social norms, or do I have to oppose them?

Put another way: If you feel 25% gay, can you come quarter-way out of the closet?

Again, not remembering much about the movie itself, reading the comments suggests that the main character has been trying to live a life opposing the norms, withstanding a lot of hardship as a result. At the end, he conforms to the expectations of heterosexuality, and we have a "happy end". Is this correct? If so, is it OK?

This thread is long enough, but to chime in briefly:

Ned is clearly bisexual; he tells Mariah that he has had sex with women, and he is clearly attracted to her in the first scenes of the film. The "scandal" that neither he nor the Duke want getting out is that he has male lovers, and certainly it seems that his most passionate sexual relationship is with the Duke...but in the sensual scenes (they never actually have sex) between he and Mariah he is clearly as attracted to her as she is to him. I believe that a careful viewing of the first scene in the dressing room makes it clear that this attraction existed from the get-go. The initial poster may be making a valid point about some movies (Chasing Amy comes to mind) but picked the wrong movie to make that point. What's charming about Ned's character is that he really isn't all that "confused" about his sexual identity at all...or rather, the resolution of his confusion isn't the point of the movie. He is an actor, and his character's journey is towards being a better one. He never doubts that he is a man, and is pretty clear and forthright in his attractions to each of his sexual interests in the film.

If you think making the leads end up together did anything to make the movie more "palatable" to a closed minded, straight audience, you obviously haven't talked about the movie with anyone in that audience. I doubt that anyone who cares whether the character is gay or bisexual would get through the whole movie just to be reassured at the end.

I never understood why sexuality has to be a fixed and binary thing. Sometimes, who you love is what matters and gender, just like race, is not your primal focus. It's true with people who think of themselves as straight until they find love in their own gender, just as it's true for people who think of themselves as gay and fall for someone they didn't expect.

And if that's too hard to believe for you, consider then that he tells her he never "slept with a woman" before and when she asks, dubious "never?", he repeats "never slept" with an emphasize on the "slept". He's struggling with his identity, but not his sexuality, like you said, so how hard is it to believe he's bisexual?

The movie is not about someone getting "cured" of his homosexuality, it's about gender identity as opposed to society's concept of gender. And it's about two characters who find each other, and themselves through one another.

For every lie I unlearn I learn something new - Ani Difranco

i've just watched this movie for the first time and listened to the commentary track by the director, who states that ned is definitely bisexual. during the final scene, he says:

"some people think that this is suggesting that he's resolved his sexual identity. for me it's simply saying: here is someone he's learnt to admire, certainly finds attractive, but as important, he recognizes that his emotions can engage with someone who is not himself. [throughout the commentary the director refers to ned as extremely narcissistic.] it seems to me, the reactions to this scene are quite subjective. i regard it as an open-ended question when she says, 'who are you now?' and he says, 'i don't know.' i think he's telling the truth, that he doesn't know, and he doesn't know where his sexual identity, where his professional identity, is. what he does know is that he admires, and, if you like, adores this other person, this significant other person. so, i'm disappointed if people think that it's closing the brackets on the relationship and suggesting that all his ambiguities are resolved. for me, it ends on a note of - i hope - open heartedness, open handedness, and doubt but optimism."

he also said a bit earlier that the intention was to make the film's audience believe that ned may be actually attempting to kill maria, but that it was never the case; he was simply perfecting his acting of the death scene.