MovieChat Forums > The Squid and the Whale (2005) Discussion > The pain of Bernard Berkman

The pain of Bernard Berkman

posted 14 years ago by r_e_panzer
10 replies | jump to latest

It's been a while since I've seen this, but I do recall feeling such pity for Bernard Berkman (the father) and people like him.

I've never been in a situation like this, but I've seen people go through it, and it scares me. So much more then death does.

Losing your wife/love/kids/family/life, and not knowing how to keep the pieces together. Watching it go. Having feelings you don't know how to deal with and can only act out on, causing the myraid of relationship problems around you. If he could only not feel a certain way about her success in writing, everything may have been fine.

[–] alemro13 14 years ago

I guess I can see where you're coming from, but I felt differently. To me, Bernard was such a self centered pain in the ass. I almost think he had tendencies toward narcissistic personality disorder. He had to be the best (or what he thought was the best) at everything he did. He had to win every game, write better stories, and get the hottest chics in bed...I think he lost everyone he loved in the end as a result of this. His son was so pretentious because he was trying to be just like his dad, and probably would have gone down the same path if he hadn't realized what was going on. I know people like Bernard, and sometimes they are so exasperating, it's hard to feel badly for them. As far as his wife cheating on him...she probably would have just left him first if it wasn't for the kids, but can you imagine being married to someone like that?

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

[–] DCI77 13 years ago

Can you imagine married to either? I mean, a narcissistic and insecure husband and an unfaithful wife. Bleh. Recipe for disaster; both sides share the blame for the downfall of their family.

[–] greg-goremykin 9 years ago

He was cheating on his wife for literally years, since before they were married. This wasn't shown, but you could infer it from his character, and from the true life events this was based on. People with NPD always cheat on their partners, it's part of the illness. The recognize the rules of society, and even hold others to that standard, but they think they are somehow exceptional to them, too special and above any mere codes of morality. Seriously, Google Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or Malignant Narcissism to get any idea of what it entails. It goes waaaayyyyy beyond mere self-centeredness.

[–] Wuchak (8177) 5 years ago

Wrong, there's no evidence in the movie that he cheated on his wife. Yes, he was a pompous, opinionated cheapskate, but he wasn't a cheater. Remember what he said to Walt about being tempted by hot women after his writing career took off, but he didn't take advantage because he was with Walt's mother?

Furthermore, as the story progresses HE is the one who wants to save the family and is willing to make whatever changes necessary.

By contrast, the wife is a sweet liberal woman, but she can't stop having affairs because she thinks her spur-of-the-moment "womanly needs" are paramount, forgetting her marriage vows.

[–] GuyOnTheLeft 10 years ago

I'm glad there are a few of us who don't judge Bernard so harshly.

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[–] greg-goremykin 9 years ago

I don't mean this in a mean way, but this film went completely over your head. The father was a raging narcissist, I mean clinically, he had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If you do a little research on it you'll see there is absolutely no was "everything may have been fine", living with or being the child of someone who is patently incapable of feeling empathy is hell on earth.

[–] califor123 9 years ago

I'm sorry, but I don't ever feel sorry for *beep*

[–] MoviemanCin 8 years ago

I felt very little sympathy for him because he was a real dick.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and / or doesn't.

[–] rc-108 8 years ago

I agree that Bernard was a narcissist.
He did not care about anyone or anything but himself...
constantly putting others down to make himself feel bigger.

In the beginning I kept hearing the old song 'Stuck in the middle with you'
it seemed like both parents were totally self absorbed..
but it seemed we were seeing thing from Jesse Eisenberg's character..
and Laura Linney appeared more normal as the movie went on...

difficult life growing up for the author..

great job by the players..
Daniels owned the role....

[–] gentelg 8 years ago

If anything I think he brought it all on himself.