MovieChat Forums > We Were the Mulvaneys (2002) Discussion > All her Fault

All her Fault

posted 16 years ago by shelbytisha
20 replies | jump to latest

Don't you think that Maryanne only has herself to blame for her family falling apart and her father sending her away? All her father wanted was justice but she acted spastically and didn't want to say anything. She kept insisting she was drinking and she wasn't sure what happened but the rape kit clearly showed that she was raped.
If she had pressed charges, the family would have eventually gotten over the incident and the grief.
Instead she became a joke in the school that she was a slut (because she refused to tell the world that she was raped NOT that she readily gave in to the guy).

I've read that rape victims often blame themselves and etc, all that emotional turmoil fortunate people will not understand but don't you want to have some justice for yourself? Your family? Imagine someone calling you a slut because you were raped, ALL because you refused to listen to your family to tell the truth. I think it was stupid, esp when there was medical evidence to prove she was raped.

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] ttandb 11 years ago

I'm a rape victim; by a boyfriend, and I didn't report it either. Not every female wants to be dragged through the courts, made to look like a slut and blamed by everyone as the guilty party because of the way she was dressed/acted; because the courts sadly have the same attitude as yours.

Some of us are afraid of our attacker; my ex was violent to me and I was terrified of him. I would rather have stuck red hot needles in my eyes than go through a court case with him glaring at me from the prisoner's box. I never told my parents until years later; but they respected my wishes not to take it further even then. Sometimes parents have to understand that it's about the victim, not the family; mine did, this young girl's didn't.

Your attitude is why so many victims of rape stay silent like me; perhaps you'd do better to think on that that continue blaming the victim.......

---------------
“Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.” ― Jesse Jackson

[–] 11 years ago

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[–] Arimas01 11 years ago

@ttandb sorry that you had to go through such an abusive relationship. Unfortunately a lot of girl/women have suffered through similar abuse at the hands of a boyfriend/spouse. Assuming that you are no longer with this creep and being that you were so afraid of him, how were you able to get out of the relationship?

Don't Worry Be Happy.

[–] ttandb 11 years ago

No I'm no longer with him and haven't been for a good many years; I've been married to my wonderful husband for 21 years and we've been together for 23. I have a gorgeously brilliant 15 year old daughter and I am still grateful every day for the escape I had. My life isn't all roses, my health is very poor, but I'm so much better off than if I'd stayed with him. I am firmly convinced that at best I'd have been severely injured and hospitalised (more than once) or, more likely given his temper, dead by now.

I realised that he was never going to change when he finally threatened my parents with serious violence - he threatened to kill them if I went near them after we moved into the flat he wanted us to buy together - I knew I was fast getting into a dangerous situation that was risking my family. Whilst I had no more care for myself (he'd systematically, with sadistic enjoyment, completely destroyed my independence and self confidence), I cared greatly for my parents - especially my disabled mum who I adored right up to her death five years ago.

I knew then I had to get out - I did. But by the skin of my teeth. He didn't take the rejection well, but could do little as I'd made sure to tell everyone where I was going with him and what time I'd be there - friends made sure to turn up as witnesses (yes I was sure otherwise I'd be in serious danger).

He then followed me round trying to persuade me to take him back; when that didn't work he tried threats and harrassment. Finally he gave up and merely spread terrible lies about how he'd dumped me as I was a slut that had slept with all his friends. I didn't care - I was free; he could say what he liked, I knew the truth.

He got his comeuppance in the end - not from me though and it didn't involve prisons. But I was one of the lucky ones to escape and that's why I get so angry with judgemental people like the parents in this film and some of the other posters on here.

[–] bittenhoney 8 years ago

I see your point. Nothing ever changes if someone does not turn in their rapist and press charges. This portrays small town mentality very well. The jocks are always golden boys (who rarely make anything of themselves past high school) and the girl was just confused or she wanted it. It's hard to watch her parents do more damage than her rapist though. In my opinion they broke this family apart when they should have just moved.