MovieChat Forums > Follow the Stars Home (2001) Discussion > This mother was wrong

This mother was wrong

posted 15 years ago by alexandriarch
32 replies | jump to latest

Why does everyone jump all over the father of this child, and blame him for the failure of their marriage. This is the mother's fault for not acknowledging the problems with this pregnancy and continuing along with it. It was all about pride. She wanted to prove them all wrong, and she disregarded the fact that she brought a child into the world that was in constant pain, physically and mentally limited, and totally dependent on her. She is sick, and the fact that the father gets demonized for his refusal to be apart of this is sick as well. This is not a feel good movie, this is a movie about one woman's struggle that originated from one woman's vanity. The mother also didn't even pick up the context involved with Amy. Amy represents one of a million children in this world who could have used a loving parent. Why couldn't she have just embraced the fact that her child was deformed and moved on to adopt some child who needed a family (like Amy), there are plenty of them around. It was heartbreaking that noone in this movie mentions this to her at all. Its one thing to raise a child with so many problems its another to ignore all the warnings about it just to prove you can do it.

[–] once_again 12 years ago

I'm disgusted with your views. Nothing else to say.

[–] psmith-61 12 years ago

How anyone can defend an irresponsible coward that only wanted to come back when he found out his child was dying is beyond me.

Vanity? It's called a mother's unconditional love for her child. Something you obviously are not capable of understanding.

[–] mbslatsky 12 years ago

The problem with this...........

Everyone is different. We all have limitations. The important thing is to make sure that you and your future mate have the same values. I know, for me, I would not have wanted to bring a child into this world that did not have quality of life and I know the strain would have been too much for me. But that is who I am. However, I can completely respect the fact that this was something that she felt she needed to do. You can't change people. You must learn to accept them and that their values may not be the same as your own.

Now........this is where I have a problem. If you truly love someone, you acknowledge and accept what is important to them. He knew her stance on this when he came back. He told her they would have more children. What if their genetic combination produced ANOTHER unhealthy child. Knowing how she felt about that......and his feelings, he should never have tried to rekindle their relationship. If you love someone, truly love them, you want them to be happy, even if it is without you. He was selfish and THAT was the point.

I can see it from both sides. There is no right or wrong answer.........

[–] alexandriarch 11 years ago

Thank you for your post mbslatsky
I found it full of incite and heart, and I am completely convinced you have more than a juvenile understanding of the word 'love'.
Many post that have preceded have all been about wanting a child, or loving the child so much that you would take any risk. This all is well and good but many have utterly failed to grasps that also may mean giving up what you want in light of evidence proving that your 'want' is now costing someone else. This is greedy love, self satisfactory love. True love would weigh in what would be BEST for the child, not what we want.

I agree with you that He was selfish too. My original post was made out of frustration that so many would take the mother's side and not see that what she did was flawed. Yes life is important. Yes If you have a child that is born with deficiencies you shouldn't just give up on them. Yet you shouldn't ignore what you are being told so that you can just have a child. There are many children in the world who are healthy & unloved. This mother could have easily turned her love to another. Not by blood, by choice.

Again Thank you

[–] meileen1942 12 years ago

You and her husband would have made a wonderful pair......uncaring for anyone but yourselves. Hoping you are in the minority, but you are entitled to your own selfish views.

Mary

Believe in the magic of your dreams

[–] LoveGod-2 10 years ago

Part of this was the fact that the mother recognized that this child had no physical deformity through any fault of her own. Why should the mother kill (murder) her own baby because the baby was not perfect? All of us are imperfect in some way and who is to judge whether a baby is killed or allowed to live? The father didn't love his child and apparently didn't love his wife enough to accept the child that they both had conceived. God is the only one who can give life and He should be the only one who chooses to take life. He hasn't given this prerogative to any human being.

[–] Rpdsf 10 years ago

In response to "LoveGod-2". I mostly agree with you but ask who are you to judge? You say we are all imperfect. In your review of this movie, you state that you object to the wife remarrying after divorce and that according to the bible divorce is only allowed for unrepentant adultery. Since that wasn't the case here, you assert that she is also guilty of adultery by remarrying. Using your line of thought, didn't the husband want her to get an abortion and in doing so, didn't that make him condoning the murder of his child? You even state in one of your other posts that the husband didn't love his child or wife. In their wedding vows I suppose there was something said about vowing to love his wife so I guess he lied. If his wedding vow was a lie, were they ever really married in the eyes of God? You judge her for divorcing her husband and remarrying. So I guess you think she should stay married to someone who doesn't love either of them, wanted to kill their child and then abandoned them? Don't you think God would want the mother and child to be happy with someone who loves them unconditionally? Especially after all the love and sacrifice she showed for her daughter? Or is your God different from mine? I think mine would would be loving enough to understand. It's God's place to judge; not yours by quoting the bible.

With that, I'm going to break my own rule by quoting... Matthew 7:1-3 King James Version (KJV)

"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."

[–] zumbinis 10 years ago

I have cerebral palsy from birth, and other disabilities, that have made life challenging for almost sixty years. In my low moments, I have wondered why, and even despaired and considered suicide. But ultimately, I'm glad for my life, the opportunity to see wonderful things in the world, to bless others and be blessed by them. This move, the book that it is based on, the actors' performances, thrill me and touch me deeply.

[–] Rpdsf 10 years ago

In response to the first post by "alexandriarch"', she's a mother and loves her baby no matter what. It was the husband who had serious issues. Using your reasoning I guess you would want any child who is not "PERFECT" aborted. She has the natural love of a mother, something I'm guessing you know nothing about. The abortion issue aside, life is precious; especially when it's your child. To accuse her of keeping the baby out of vanity is way out of line. It was the husband who was vain in not wanting a child who wasn't perfect.

[–] 9 years ago

[deleted]

[–] jmatrixrenegade 9 years ago

I don't judge women who abort in situations like this & will not do the reverse. It is up to the woman & for many -- especially if she will have the means to take care of the child -- it is a very hard decision. Once the child is born, the father does have an obligation imho to be around. I understand if he was against her having the child and not aborting, but she made the decision. She was his child and sending checks isn't enough. I don't blame him for ending the marriage. The couple clearly wasn't strong enough for that -- I question if the marriage would last even if the child was totally healthy.