MovieChat Forums > Do You Wanna Know a Secret? (2001) Discussion > Don’t Bother, Really

Don’t Bother, Really

posted a year ago by vilafire (607)

Sometimes you find out a movie exists and you want to track it down no matter what. Even a warning like this does nothing to deter you. I’ve been there, man! But, seriously, this ain’t worth it. It’s not even ‘so bad it’s good.’ Just very bad. If you want to see a Scream/I Know What You Did Last Summer rip-off that is more “so bad it’s good” try Final Stab from 2001.

Before I detail what sucked about it, keep in mind how I watched it. In 7 parts. And the jerk who uploaded the movie parts onto YouTube didn’t include the first part. So I had to watch the first 11 minutes with terrible quality, in French, with machine-translated subtitles. (The rest of the movie has a slightly less terrible picture but it’s in English.) Not for one minute do I think this flick could be improved if watched with the real dvd, except marginally as obviously the picture would be much better.

I don’t even know where to begin. The mystery is incoherent and stupid. The acting is really, really terrible. The direction is terrible. Most victims die off camera. It’s just lazy in a lot of ways.

The highlight of the movie is Joey Lawrence doing Kung fu at a rave. The whole thing is just directed and edited stupidly, so it was entertaining.

The lead actress is annoying and terrible but her reaction to the killer revealing their identity is priceless. She basically makes this whining noise and it echoes how I felt about the reveal too. Kind of a groan.

Of interest to 10% of you: Chad Allen really chews the scenery here and there’s probably a case to be made that his character is a closet case.

SPOILER

He kills everyone except the Men’s Fitness model and his “ex.” He ties the male model up, dressed the girl up as a bride, even does her makeup, and tells her “I love fashion.” I mean, come on. Closet case mysteriously doesn’t kill the male model and keeps him chained up instead, while he treats the woman like a Barbie doll as he tries to be a hetero. Mmm hmm.

Honestly it’s hard to see Chad Allen in anything and not see him as gay. He’s just very fey.