1999 Royal Rumble Review

The ppv that gave Mr McMahon his theme music that he still uses today. Also this ppv was a segment for Beyond The Mat. McMahon and Chyna are in the Rumble and Chyna won a #30 match by eliminating Vince with help from Austin. Vince made Austin #1 but commish Michaels made Vince #2 and the Corporation beat him into acoma and he dissapeared for months/years. Lawler and Cole on commentary, but according to Beyond The Mat, JR was in the back feeding the guys down at ringside the lines. Which is just damn sad. Your a goddamn commentator!!! You can't call a wrestling match without help???!!!


Match #1

Singles Match

Hardcore Champion Roadogg Jesse James Vs The Big Boss Man


James is Hardcore champion here, having beaten Bossman for the title a week or so prior. This is NOT a hardcore match. Couldve helped. Stall session to start. Bossman controls with his power stuff, but Dogg bails and posts Bossman. They fight on the floor for a bit, which gives Bossman the advantage. Dogg with a suprise sleeper that never works, and Bossman goes aerial but it backfires and Dogg comes back. Shake Rattle N Roll, flying forearm, and Crazy Legs kneedrop get two, but Bossman catches him coming off the ropes with the Bossman Slam and gets the pin at 11:34. Standard issue stuff. 2 stars.


Match #2

Intercontinental Championship Match

Ken Shamrock Vs The Badass Billy Gunn


Gunn has a minor ankle injury at this point, not that he's limping to the ring but enough for a plot point leading to the finish in this match. Shamrock charges in and they brawl. Shamrocks upset Billy mooned his slut of a sister. Mr rimjob misses a blind charge and Ken kicks his ass, LITERALLY!! Ken works the back. Billy hits a suprise fameasser, it gets two. They brawl to the floor, where Shamrock takes control. Gunn rams Shamrock into the table, leaping from the apron with Shamrock in tow to do so. Back in, where Shamrock gets a quick legsweep and begins destroying Gunn’s already injured ankle. The ref is bumped and Val Venis does the run in and DDTs Shamrock, which gives Gunn a two count. Gunn mounts the comeback. He decides to go aerial, but misses and lands on his ankle, and we reach the plot point mentioned earlier as Shamrock hits the anklelock and Billy quits at 14:24. Ill go 2 stars. An old net rumour says Billy was supposed to win here but was boozing it up the night before and arrived late, so they flipped the match.


Match #3

European Championship Match

X-Pac Vs Gangrel


X-Pac hits a backdrop suplex and kick combo, but a blind charges misses and Gangrel gets a double armhook bellytobelly gets two. X-Pac comes back with two spinning kicks for two, and the Broncobuster. He comes off the top, and Gangrel catches him and rolls through for a 2 count when but Pac forgot to lift his shoulder and it ended up actually being a three, Teddy Long botched, and the crowd lets him know about it. X-Factor finishes it for real at 5:43. An idiot forgetting to lift his shoulder then the ref refusing to make the count, ON CAMERA always hurts a match for me. 1 1/2 star.


Match #4

Womens Championship Strap Match

Sable Vs Luna


Here's your pissbreak. Luna injured Sable on Heat, so Shane walks out and tells Sable to come out and forfeit the title. She doesn't, Luna attacks Sable’s back , then Shane interferes and Torri the stalker runs in and nails Luna and Sable wins it at 4:11. Bleh, 1/2 star. Sable is nearin the end of her career, post Mania Sable thought he was hots*** and walked. Nobody really missed her.


Match #5

I Quit Match

Mankind Vs The Rock


Foley won the title on the night of the Finger Poke Of Doom and it was all WWF till 2001. Mick hammers on Rock, nailing him with the microphone and he asks Rock if he quits, Rock tells him that he can kiss his ass. Cactus clothesline to the floor, where Mick goes to the steps. Rock stops to do some commentary, and threatens to slap the brown noser Lawler, Foley jumps him and lays a chair accross his back. Back in for a doublearm DDT and the Mandible Sock. Rock is out and can’t submit. He tosses Rock out and they fight back into the crowd. Rock powerslams Foley back to ringside to come back. Rock does the hammer and ring bell spot like a few months back then tries Rock Bottom on the Spanish table, but the thing collapses before the move can hit. Rock goes for the drink spit, but that just wakes Mick up. They brawl down the aisle, Rock gets a DDT on the concrete. Rock finds a ladder, but gets it back in his face. Mick drops an elbow onto the ladder, but gets the worst of it. For no good reason except a showy highspot they fight up another ladder onto the balcony railing and a lowblow and a throw sends Foley off onto fake electrical equipment, sparks fly and the lights go out, cool spot. Shane comes out to plead for mercy from the Rock, but no go. Rock drags Mick back to the ring. Rock finds some handcuffs and cuffs Mick, and the real life stuff begins. Foley kicks and bites as best he can to survive, Foley gives him a knee to the nuts that makes the crowd ooooohhhh. But Rock hits a clothesline and then grabs a chair. He puts it over Foley’s face and drops the Corporate Elbow. Foley won’t quit, so Rock just absolutely bashes his head in with two chairshots. Mick won’t quit. Three more, and the crowd is getting queazy. Foley rolls out to the floor for sanctuary, but Rock follows and delivers three more. Foley staggers down the aisle, and Rock nails him from behind with an horrible shot to the back of the head that KO'S him legit. Rock sticks the mike in his face, and someone (the same guy who raised the briefcase, hit Austin with a cinderblock and then ran him over at Survivor Series and drove the white hummer) plays a tape of Foley screaming “I Quit!” from the earlier Heat taping, and Rock wins the WWF title back at 21:43 in classic Russo screwjob fashion. Im going 3 1/2 stars.


Match #6

1999 Royal Rumble


Austin is #1, and Vince is #2. Looking in great (roided) shape too. Vince tells the ref to signal the bell and were underway and Austin beats the **** out of him, crowd loves it. Austin teases pitching McMahon but he doesn't which really should of clued me into who would win that night, but I held out hope, I mean they weren't WCW bad with booking. #3 is Golga and he jumps Austin, tries to pitch him and Austin counters and throws him out. Vince escapes into the crowd and Austin gives chase into a restroom where the Corporation mug him. #4 is Droz, still dressed up as part of LOD even though theyve been gone for weeks. He hangs out with nothing to do but wait for #5 Edge and they do a little gig. #6 is Gilberg who is dumped out in about 4 seconds by Edge during a pose. #7 is Steve Blackman followed by #8 Dan Sevren and #9 Tiger Ali Singh and the camera cuts back to an ambulance leaving with Austin, I think the guys were worried Ali would botch walking to the ring and they wanted to cover for him. Blue Meanie is #10 and it's a Sunday Night Heat Battle Royale. Mosh is supposed to be #11 but Mabel beats him up and takes his place. Nobody cares about him, he takes out Droz/Sevren and Blackman then clotheslines out Singh and pitches Meanie and Edge ballshots him to slow him down and he is backdropped out by Dogg but hangs on, and a back elbow sends him down to the announce table. Overbooking ahoy as the lights go out and the Ministry show up and beat Mabel out of the building. Dogg hangs out and Gangrel is #13. Dogg throws him out to wrap up a crappy night for Gangrel. Kurrgan is #14 and beats up Dogg. Al Snow is #15. He climbs the ropes to get leverage while trying to force Kurrgan out, so Dogg casually pushes him out, which I thought was a bad idea of sorts. Goldust is #16. Godfather is #17 and we watch him bull**** in the walkway. Kane is #18 and we leave the jobber section of the Rumble which is really noticeable. Kane kills everybody James clotheslined out, Kurrgan gone, goodbye Godfather and Goldust gets chokeslammed out. Russo fires his second salvo of booking missles and the mental hospital workers charge the ring and go after Kane, so he eliminates himself and leaves through the crowd. We get another few minutes of Dead Space, as Shamrock is #19 and has nothing to do. Vince returns to do color commentary. Billy Gunn is #20, still selling the injury. Shamrock beats the hell out of him. Test is #21. We cut outside as Mabel is being loaded into a hearse, and conveniently Austin has managed to hijack the ambulance and return it to the arena AT THAT VERY MOMENT. Bossman is #22 as Austin returns to the match at the same time, he runs after McMahon who dives into the ring, leading Austin to the goons and Austin backdrops Shamrock out. HHH is #23. Val Venis is #24. Billy valiantly fights Austin but Austin kicks Gunn in the ankle and tosses him. X-Pac is #25. Everyone keeps going after Austin for the money and fighting eachother on the elimination attempts. Mark Henry is #26. Jeff Jarrett is #27. D-Lo Brown is #28, and Austin with a power surge gets rid of Test then X-Pac in succession. Owen Hart is #29 just as HHH eliminates his buddy Jarrett. Owen and D-Lo doubleteam Austin. Chyna is #30, and she gets rid of Henry right away after some stick kicks in the gut, but showboats and gets dumped by Austin. Henry points at her and laughs outside, I was laughing too actually:) HHH dumps Val. Austin waits until he turns around, then hits the Stunner and tosses him. D-Lo gets the Lo-Down on Austin and works him over pretty good. Owen smacks Austin in the back of the head with the enziguri then tries a blind charge at Austin in the corner and gets big backdropped out.

Final Four: Big Bossman, Steve Austin, D-Lo Brown & Vince McMahon. D-Lo showboats after taking Austin down, and Bossman dumps him easily. Bam, Stunner, goodbye Bossman. That leaves Vince at ringside, so Austin beats the hell out of him and kills him with a chair shot then drags him in. Vince hits a desperation low blow, but takes the Stunner. And here’s Rocky to seal the deal. Austin stops to yell at him, acting like a total idiot and breaking character, waiting a good 20 seconds for Vince to get his carcass of the mat and Rockies interference allows Vince the chance to sneak up from behind and dump Austinand win the Royal Rumble at 56:33. I wanted to puke after spending the money for this show. Austin and Rock fight to the back and the McMahons celebrate with the goons. Im giving this joke of a Rumble my lowest score for the match, 2 stars. This is definately the worst up until this time or ever so far.


Overall Opinion: Watched this one live and it left a sour taste in my mouth. Vince McMahon booking himself to win the Rumble pisses on it's value, but he outdid himself later in the year by winning the world title.


Final Score: Suckiest Rumble match ever but the rest of the card is good. Vince winning drags this show down to a 3.4