hilarious quotes

The Jack Black song made me cough so hard from laughing.

The other thing that made me drop onto the floor was in the special features the music video. At the end when they change the prostitute back to a cheap one and then change the $100 bill into a five.

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When Terry Twilsteen is being pulled down by the police after chasing Ronnie away from the school bus. "Don't worry... I'm from Hollywood."

The Best scene in the movie is Mandi Patinkin singing the ronnie dobbs song.
The best quote is:
Terri: "I was born without an accent"

ronnie's friend, speaking to only two people:

"y'all are a regular three musketeers!"

Terry: Who likes cake?
Brian Posehn: Everybody.

Kayla: "Maybe your big dog could tame my naughty pussycat."
Ronnie: "Well, I'm not into pets or nothin', but howsabout you and me go f##k?"

Ronnie: "Kayla, can you come in here for a second?"
Kayla: "Yeah?"
Tammy: "Who the hell is she?"
Ronnie: "Oh, only the girl I've been f##king. Jealous much?"

Terry: "My name is Terry and I'm from Hollywood. Ronnie, you are not like other men. You've got something, something special, and I want it badly. I want to be the man behind the man! I realize I'm coming all over you here, but it's been building up inside of me for weeks, and I can't control myself. Listen, sir, let me show what you've got inside of you, what could be inside of you if you'd just give me the tiniest hole of opportunity. We can go back to your place right now, and I'll pack your s##t!"

Ronnie: "This goat ate my shirt and my shoes and my wallet...arrest this goat!"

"I'm gonna stick my penis...in your thoughtful vagina!"
"Damn...double damn!"
"Give her just a little kick in the c##t!"


"Most fools think they are only ignorant." -Benjamin Franklin

All of Terry's brilliant inventions.

"Its the Fish Magician. It makes fish...disappeaaaaar!
Nobody bought it"
"I'll throw in a Nickel Protector! Because you're always in need of a nickel, but you never have one. It conveniently holds...one nickel!"
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"We gone have us a champagne jam!"
"Let's go fu ck up the Piggy Wiggy sign!"
"I was sleepin' in my little home"
"You're goin' downtown, Ronnie. You're goin' downtown-Ronnie!"
"Sorry bout fu ckin your sister, Dwayne. That was you!?"
"I'M THE KING OF ALASKA MOUNTAIN!!!!"
"I'm slippery, ain't I!?"
"No, that's a hard-on. You gave that to me."

Ronnie: "Terry, what the Hell you doin' here?"
Terry: "Oh, I'm here to meet a very special man."
Ronnie: "Well fu ck him, gimme a ride."

"Sweet relief..."

"I stole that ice cream truck for the kids, baby! And that water tower had it comin', you can ask anybody!"

"Clean the *beep* out your ears, bitch."
"Yeah, I'm in business...business of givin' you the business!"