MovieChat Forums > Unfaithful (2002) Discussion > Ultimately, no intimacy

Ultimately, no intimacy

posted 8 years ago by puplover
8 replies | jump to latest

I watched it again tonight for the 100th time over the years. But this time something different struck me. Connie and Edward have nothing to say to each other. It's not familiarity from living together for so long, it's not a fun comfortableness. They don't communicate at all. The scene when Edward says "Do you love me, Connie?" And she says, "Of course I do." There is nothing else. No..."Why do you ask?" Nothing. I know she feels guilty and distracted, but there isn't any impulse in either of them to inquire about the other in a meaningful way. Even at the beginning, they joked around (sort of) but there was no genuine connecting. Ironically, Connie opened up more (no pun) w/ Paul, even revealing to him how much she obsessed about him. That lack of intimacy was solved during her dalliances w/ Paul. He gave her everything she was missing, especially playful and "naughty" sex. No shame and no inhibitions, unlike w/ Edward.

We see her crying when she finds out he is dead. She doesn't even attempt to conceal it from Edward. I think she was crying because it's over and he's gone permanently. Despite herself, she was in love w/ him.

[–] theblackestmagic 8 years ago

You have hit upon some very valid points in your post. And your entire assessment of the situation(s) may well be spot on. All I can say, from what I saw and observed in the film, is the relationship between Connie and Edward was clearly lacking something for certain. I mean I could easily detect it in the opening scenes of them together that something between them as a married couple was simply not there at all, whatever it happened to be. And it was also apparent to me that it was way more for her than it was for him. She just seemed to me to be pretty emotionally, as well as mentally, distant from him from the get go. So I have to very much agree with you that some real spark, whether it was sexually, emotionally or mentally(possibly all these) was completely missing and/or gone from their life together.

"Life IS pain highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something".

[–] puplover 8 years ago

Thank you. And yes, I wonder if they ever had a connection. I tend to think she married him because on paper, he had everything going for him. But in reality, the traits that connect people were absent for her, perhaps for both of them. I think the ambiguity is one of the reasons people still discuss this film.

[–] simbatopcat 8 years ago

I really enjoy reading everyone's post, I wonder if Edward hadn't killed paul I think Connie would have gone back to him.thoughts?

[–] theblackestmagic 8 years ago

Well it's a real interesting situation to think about as far as what would've happened next if Paul hadn't died at the hands of Edward. It seemed to me that Connie was, with the message she left on Paul's answering machine, making a serious and genuine effort to finally break off and end her affair with Paul. But the fact of the matter is that she was so badly addicted to Paul and with their numerous sexual trysts together, that I have a somewhat difficult time believing that she could have or would have been able to totally break away from such an addiction as the one she possessed for him. Now of course I could be completely wrong about this, as maybe she truly would've ended it all with him after leaving that phone message. Maybe she finally realized what she was truly doing to her family and to her whole life in general due to her continuous self-centered actions, and that she had actually gotten to the point to where she was putting her sex life with Paul over even her life with her own husband and child. Perhaps, as a wife and mother, she just couldn't bear such a horrid realization and knew that she absolutely needed to terminate it all right there and then.

I do think though that if she did ultimately decide to continue on with the affair after her message to him, that it probably wouldn't have resumed so soon as usual. I do think that she would have very much made a sincere and concentrated effort to resume her home and family life the way it had previously been before her sexual affair with Paul began. But I do think that, sometime and/or somewhere along the line, she quite possibly would have gotten together with him once again due to a result of either another chance meeting between the two of them, or to Connie's own resolve slowly weakening and eventually succumbing, once again, to her overwhelming sexual addiction to Paul.

Those are my own thoughts anyway as it relates to this most intriguing of scenarios.

"Life IS pain highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something".

[–] tearsnhoney 8 years ago

I thought the same thing when it came to Lane and Gere's characters not seeming connected as a couple.
The film begins with Lane meeting Martinez, for the most part. We aren't able to see the marriage until Connie is overwhelmingly taken away from her life. She falls...hard.
As she stated, she thought of Paul constantly. She was obsessed until she finally gets a grip. After calling the murdered Paul, and ending it, she seems to ease back into reality. During Charlie's play, she holds Edward's hands and acts loving towards him. He seems surprised and unsettled to have his wife back after killing over her.
Connie was done with Paul and the lust they had together.
She loved Edward..

[–] puplover 8 years ago

Very provocative responses. I think that Connie's holding Edward's hand and gripping him post murder was more a desperate need to maintain her comfortable life and status quo than love for Edward. As I wrote earlier, I think on paper, Edward was perfect. And she "should" be in love w/ him. We like to believe that good solid marital love w/ a good guy conquers all but the reality as presented to us was that she married a passive aggressive murderer who was unable to communicate. What the affair should have taught her was that her marriage was an unfulfilling sham. But even at the end, she wanted to hold on to her illusion.

[–] bohunkchicklet 7 years ago

The person missing from this is Paul and his wife. They were separated but not divorced. I don't think Paul was in love with Connie. I think he loved the sex.
If he hadn't been murdered, I don't see Paul crying over missing Connie. I also never pictured him wanting a committed relationship with Connie.
We don't know if Paul was a serial cheater or not. Maybe his wife moved out because Paul continually had affairs.
We really don't know much about him.

I just wish it had turned out that he wasn't separated. I loved it when the cop told Connie about his wife. Some of the sting was relieved though when he said they were separated.

I do agree though that passion seemed to be missing. But that takes two. Maybe Connie should have bought sexy lingerie for Edward. Heck, she could've even fantasized about Paul. Anything would've been better than the affair. Edward seemed like he would've been open to listening to her. And I'm sure he would have been open to garters and lace.

[–] sneezer (166) 6 years ago

I think Connie's relationship with Edward coulda been better. You know there is a sexual conraderie between them, like during the video camera scene. They seemed to be in love, kissing on the bed. If Charlie didn't yell for them, perhaps they woulda made whoopie. Connie's relationship with Paul was a sexual one. There was no romance with them. Perhaps Edward did not attend much to his wife's sexual needs. Maybe she running to Paul could have been prevented. Paul and her were mostly getting it on. We never saw any scenes of intellectual conversation between them going on. At the same time, i did not see any emptiness in Edward and Connie's marriage. She kept on saying "this is so wrong", even after her and Paul were screwing like mad.