the coolest quips in the movie - The Count of Monte Cristo (2002) Discussion

Don't forget: "I'm a priest, not a saint"

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Not as quipy, but still good....

Fernand - You are the walking proof that your mother was as much of a whore in her younger years as she is today.

Mercedes- Is Viscount Torville dead?
Fernand - Well, unless his heart is situated somewhere other than the left side of his chest, I suspect he is.

Two of my favs:)

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[–] nutsberryfarm 13 years ago

jacopo quipped it up with- 'why not just kill them? i'll do it. i'll run up to paris! bam. bam. bam. bam.'

Golf clap? Golf clap.

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[–] GLM441 13 years ago

jacopo is the best knife fighter Ive ever seen
Maybe you should get out more

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[–] msparrow63 13 years ago

"I find that smuggling is the life for me, and would be delighted to kill your friend the maggot!"

"Why,you speak treason!"
"Fluently"

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[–] SanForZeke 13 years ago

Jacobo: "I swear on my dead relatives - and even on the ones who aren't feeling too well - I am your man forever!"

Edmond: "You're right, he wouldn't... but you just did."

Abbe Faria: "Ohh.. and does something else demand your time? A pressing appointment, perhaps?"

Dorleac: "Alright, let's make a bargain, shall we? You ask God for help, and I'll stop the moment he shows up."
_____________________________________
"Yahemar! Of course we don't let him go!"

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[–] 13 years ago

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[–] wendycscott9 7 years ago

I liked Edmond's answer to Jacobo's "I am your man forever!" "I know." 😏

—
"How was the war, sir?"
"As any war—a waste of good men." (Poldark)

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[–] reborn_raptor 13 years ago

Luigi Vampa: So mi amici, I would ask who you are but in light of your shreddded clothes and the fact that the Chateau d'Iffe is two miles away.. whats the point!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Knew him? He was delicious!

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[–] nutsberryfarm 13 years ago

luigi has some funny lines.

Golf clap? Golf clap.

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[–] transmentalist 13 years ago

"... but have you NAMED them yet?"

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[–] nutsberryfarm 13 years ago

how did i escape? with difficulty. how did i plan this moment? with pleasure!

Golf clap? Golf clap.

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[–] RiverThruIt 12 years ago

The ultimate quip, in the armed carriage after Villefort attempts suicide but the gun is empty and Edmund whispers,

"You didn't think I'd make it that easy, did you?"

Chills, every time.

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[–] nutsberryfarm 12 years ago

edmund likes to whisper. quite good at it.

Season's Greetings

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[–] CarmenSandiegoIII 9 years ago

The ultimate quip, in the armed carriage after Villefort attempts suicide but the gun is empty and Edmund whispers,

"You didn't think I'd make it that easy, did you?"

Chills, every time.

Yep, that was my favorite line too, lol. I saw this movie when it first came out and it just came on TV again last night, I was surprised all over again at how good it was.

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[–] fostersforums 7 years ago

Yes, this is the best line in the movie. Not only the delivery, but the setup that led to it and the powerful musical cue of finality as the carriage rides away with Edmond striding behind it as if to will it out of existence. A real "last nail in the coffin" moment.

=============================

It's an opinion, not a statement of fact nor a declaration of war on your existence. Relax.

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[–] Fusion72 8 years ago

That was one of my favourites. Even madness has it's levels.

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[–] jh099 12 years ago

"Who are you and why are you doing this?"

"We are bad men, and for the money."

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[–] 12 years ago

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[–] 12 years ago

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[–] corysteam3 12 years ago

Dorleac: Now you're thinking, just now "Why me, O God?". The answer is, God has nothing to do with it

In fact, God is never in France this time of year.

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[–] corysteam3 12 years ago

Also:

Dorleac: Come on, come on, I haven't got all day... wait. Actually, I do. I've got...
[laughs]
Dorleac: ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!

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[–] pacem23 10 years ago

Let's not forget the anniversary where he was butchering Edmond's name as he was whipping him.

The grave is no bar to my call.

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[–] stick500 9 years ago

after the head jailer and Edmond go over the cliff and into the sea, the two guys helping peer down and say;

"We could have handled that a little better."

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[–] conquerorsaint 10 years ago

("Oh and by the way, Jacobo is the best knife-fighter I have ever seen!")

ED: "Perhaps you should get out more!"

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[–] LykosKoukla 10 years ago

Edmond: "What if I win, and I don't want to be a smuggler?"
Luigi: "Then we slit your throat and we're a bit short-handed."

That one makes me laugh every time... I just love the matter-of-fact way Vampa delivers that line.

Mercedes: "Chateau D'if for 13 years... did you suffer?"
Edmond: *Scoff* "Are you finished?"

I love the tone in his voice. You can almost hear him saying, "Are you SERIOUSLY that *beep* stupid?!"

Jacopo: "Let's just kill them. I'll do it! I'll run up to Paris, BAM BAM BAM BAM, I'm back before week's end, then we spend the treasure. How is this a bad plan?!"

"As long as there has been one true god, there has been killing his name."

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[–] Lucy9596 9 years ago

Mercedes: "Chateau D'if for 13 years... did you suffer?"

The writer who made her say that line should suffer...come on, of course he suffered, who would ask such a silly question?

How did I escape? With difficulty. How did I plan this? With pleasure!

Why are you doing this?
It's complicated.

Will Graham: I don't find you that interesting.
Hannibal Lecter: You will.

****

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[–] deem_bastille 9 years ago

NUTSY!!!!

HOW IS THIS A BAD PLAN??

OH THANK YOU GOD! THANK YOU SO BLOODY MUCH!!! Basil Fawlty

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[–] nutsberryfarm 9 years ago

-sounds fearsome!
-it means driftwood.

🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴

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[–] greenbudgie 9 years ago

I didn't enjoy any of those modern day type quips. That and the lack of charisma in the cast is the reason I had to turn this movie off.

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