Senseless, laughable, junk
As if David Lynch took Carnivale, Schindlers List, Chocolat and the Titanic and made one awful, senseless movie of it. They even seem to have borrowed Depp straight off the set of Chocolat in his French-Gypsy phase. It is so bad that I'm shocked it isn't a cult classic by now. The plot is absolutely senseless. This is coming from a Depp fan as well.
You are warned. Avoid at all costs or you'll be wishing for those 2 hours back at the end of your days on earth.