Favourite sister?

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Caroline had a singular and determined point of view--especially when a young woman. Despite her loyalty to the conventions and being something of a prig she had the courage to defy her parents to secure the future she wanted. It was a huge risk considering the fundamental differences in character, sophistcation and age between herself and the unpredictable rake she married. It was to Caroline's advantage too that Fox was the most interesting, and as it turned out, surprising of the husbands. Emily was careful--a smug stoic who bided her time. Caluclating, cynical, and mostly above the fray. Sarah wasted much of her life playing at being clueless--a leaf in the wind. Louisa was the most positive. The youngest didn't register.

she seemed a little self serving after her father died.

I didn't take it that way. She was hurt by the snub, despite their reconciliation, that her father would prefer to send her siblings off to Ireland rather than allow her to raise them and launch them into society. When you consider how both her father and mother withheld their consent from Emily for years, and their strong disapproval of Kildare because he was Irish -- Caroline has a valid point (not to mention the insult against Fox in the text of her mother's will).

That her father would prefer removing the children from their home, their country and sending them to a country he had such distaste and disapproval of to having them remain in England, raised by Caroline, shows he had not really forgiven his eldest daughter and was getting the last word as well as revenge.


She screwed up Sara's marriage, by pushing her into something she didn't want

Had her parents been alive, no doubt they would have pushed Sarah in the very same direction. If Emily had lived in England, she likely would have done the same. Have you watched the making of featurette on the DVD? Julian Fellowes explains how the Duke of Richmond courted the king's favor because he felt the stigma of being descended from a bastard and sought to improve his social standing; the featurette also mentions that the Duke and esp. the Duchess were ashamed of her Irish heritage and did everything they could to distance themselves from it, hence the one of the reasons for their strong disapproval of Kildare marrying Emily.

As for screwing up Sarah's life, sister-in-law, the wife of her brother (the new Duchess of Richmond) was shown in the series to encourage Sarah's affairs.


then rushing her into a crappy marriage

Actually, that was Sarah who did that. She insisted on Bumbury.


Then having the audacity to tell Emily to pick between her and her husband?

I don't deny this was far from her finest moment, but I can understand how it came to that point. After years of slights and being discounted and blamed for things (when Emily was far from a saint with a perfect marriage herself), she wanted the respect that was due her.

Good point.