I thought we should have a thread where we can laugh at our favourite sketches from both of the series.
Eldon: "I'll you what, you've gotta force people out of their cars, right, and you do this by doubling the price of petrol..."
...
Heap: "Doubling the price of petrol!?"
...
Davis: "Pollution?!? where we live isn't polluted!"
All: "hahahahaha"
Lineham: " I HATE YOU!"
Excellent idea carried out with brilliant acting.
"I always thought he was all mouth and trousers.... Now it seems he's mouth without even the trousers"
Cracks me up every time.
Alfred Hitchcock's "The Working Class" always makes me laugh.
Also like the one in the Office where they get a new manager or something. Everytime they mention the guys name they all complain at once, with Simon Pegg finishing off with "...he's a wanker!"
Oh yeah, I love that one. The timing is brilliant.
shareI remember one where it was set like the old west and the Bee Gees were having a shoot out with somebody else.. can anyone fill in the blanks?
shareIt was the Bee Gees and Chaka Kahn.
My favourite is Mark Heap dressed as the tin man chasing Kevin Eldon
There's too many good ones to choose one favourite.
What about the DJ that wants Batman puns?
Mao Tse-Tung leaping off his deathbed and joining Roxy Music.
Also Eldon as the evil hypnotist.
I'm gonna hand round this bit of paper with my phobia on it.("spoons") No one is to say the word or show me one. (in walks in man stirring tea with spoon)
I haven't laughed so hard in ages!
But Eldon is a genius. Victorian scientist, Mao Tse-tung and Evil hypnotist played to hilarious perfection!
One of my favourites is the one at the party where Mark Heap beats everyone up in a kind of (intentionally) poorly choreographed early James Bond movie style. The idea and the fight itself is funny enough but the delivery of the lines "I thought you said he was better!" and "Sorry it all had to end in a big fight..." make it even better.
And the "...but he's a wanker!" sketch too. That became a catchphrase with my friends when I was at school. But it wasn't funny when we did it.
"Everything I've ever told you has been a lie. Including that. That's not true."
lol. dont they then all go "hummana hummana hummana"
then there the new "no w@nking" at work policy.
or renaming 'The Ritz' to 'The Titz'
anyone wanna seee my monkey impression???
I WOULD HAVE TO AGREE!! IT MAKES ME LAUGH EVERY TIME, HES A WANKER, I STILL USE THAT ONE 2DAY
shareEasy for me - either:
1) "He's a wanker!"
2) The guy in the office who draws a caricature of his boss - when his boss sees it, he just won't stop crying
3) Rockin' All Over The World played over the funeral scene
I've just seen season 2 on dvd and it has to be the jokes about street magic. Mark heap does a wonderful David Blaine and then putting it in the context of apocalpyse now absolute genius!
shareYOU FAT-HANDED TWAT!
I am beginning to think that Kevin Eldon is the true genius of the crew. But who remembers Simon Quinlank, King of Hobbies, with his weak lemon drink?
I remember him, and weak lemon drink still makes me laugh, which in turn makes people look at me in a funny way.
I managed to completely forget the fat handed twat bits, even though they were damn funny, especially when he's trying to take the photo for the Japanese couple.
"Everything I've ever told you has been a lie. Including that. That's not true."
Simon Quilan? The name rings a bell. Was that Fist of fun? or the Sunday show?
Also The japanese sign held up was more like Large Hand genital, unfortunately twat isn't in the english/japanese dictionary!
Simon Quinlank was on Fist Of Fun and This Morning With Richard Not Judy. Speaking of which, did anyone else love the Greg Evigan bit?
"Everything I've ever told you has been a lie. Including that. That's not true."
'You fat-handed *beep* *beep*
'Jockey's! Something must have spooked 'em'
Mark Heap as the guy who slices the top of his thumb off. 'I'm sorry, was that about me not being married?'
Braveheart sketch. 'My tiny horse!'
Cat and Mouse scrap. 'Just leave it, he's not worth it!'
So many more
The characters name was Simon Quinlake not Quinlank
<I made this>
Hi, my name's Greg Evigan ... remember me from BJ and The Bear?
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Haha this one was brilliant I agree!
shareFist of fun and This morning with Richard not Judy!
I love his Rod Hull character from that era too.
You Can't Drink A Pint Of Bovril..
The two "we knew already" sketches (one in each series) are priceless.
1st Series is where the priest is "dead" then comes back to life
2nd series is where they have created a "bastard chimera", when infact the antidote has replicated. Best line of that sketch "I knew yesterday!!!".
I'm also a fan of the fat handed *ahem* sketches
"All mouth and no trousers" sketches with the peggster unable to open doors is fantastic, especially when mark heap comes home to bed and finds him scrabbling with the door!
shareThe cat 'n' mouse fight outside the pub...
...No more wanking in the office...
...and of course, "Can you speak English?"
I'm sorry I didn't understand the last post, I can't speak english.
sumatran tigers are dangerous, just get them in a reservoir and drown them!
"I guess you could say...they're selling like hotcakes"
I love the stareout championship ones, especially when they throw in ridiculous things like the amatuers' break period where a piece of paper comes between the two and they blink a lot, and the commentators are excellent.
The editing ones.
The ones where Pegg can't open the door.
Dianetic's personality test was perfect. I work around the block from one and I always laugh now when asked to take one of their tests...That's not to say I didn't laugh before.
Anyone get grossed out by the deleted scenes on disc one? I don't mind the sight of blood but when Heap has that nose bleed with the choking and the blood dripping off that woman's head, I gagged!
i really like the wanker sketch and the emmerson, lake and palmer joke, i just love the line:
"one problem, i've turned into a ventriloquist's dummy, no the old fashion scary ones"
and the evil hypnotist joke the way kevin eldon is walking outside the door is so silly!
Your forgeting the one where Simon wears the paper bra and Pants. The best bit ever is him dancing. I think its better than the dance in the Office.
I may be dead but i'm still pretty
The best one is where Mark Heap is in the pub and a stranger asks him to mind her baby!
"What are you doing here all on your own?"
"Havn't yer gotta wife?"
Mark heap: "Are you talking to me?"
"Im gonna get you"
Woman comes back: "Thank you so much that's very kind of you"
Dog: "Im gonna bite your legs"
Zooms in on dogs eyes: "TOSSER!!!"
Absolutely outstanding sketch, pissed myself lauging!!!
Oh and when simon pegg visits his and his wifes friends and he takes his mates missus upstairts and shags her! Brilliant! Everyone seems to be alright until Mark heap says "Well as long as I get a blowjob im alright!" lol lol lol lol
i absolutely love the wildlife documentary where a group of jockeys get attacked by the artist formerly known as prince! how they could keep a straight face i don't know!
What's that? You just called me a bastard didn't you!
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How about during the commentary, when the cast are talking about the 'Ritz to the Titz' sketch and Simon Pegg is discussing mobile phone predictive texts as having a 'moral agenda', and that you cannot write anal or *beep* - it just writes 'coal' - "which is a boom for gay miners". Hilarious! Improvised or planned?
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Is that some kind of a reference to me not being married?
I love that sketch so much!
Kirk
The Begees vs Shaka Kahn in the shootout is good.
Also like the Cat and Dog rivarly on the night out.
The post Nazi rally party with them all pissed up in the livingr room.
The Horse suicide-Classic!
The Teddy bear who goes off the rails and dies of a heroin overdose (think it's a montage sketch in series one)
Like a kitten in the snow, like a puppy in a show.
Makes me wee every time.
that is a classic!!! I also love the pervert in the magic show ad my no 1 fave is the blokes playing table tennis when the lady is discussing her husband's funeral. When they twat her with the bat I wet mysef laughing everytime.
I have quite a few:
1. "What would you say if I said...TIM BISHOP!!!"
2. Married reference
3. Smug man who can't open doors
4. "Palmer was drowned in a lake...Lake is a slave in Parma"
5. Primal Scream Therapy
There are 2 well funny ones on the deleted scenes of Disc 2. The first is the "Ominous Uncle", the second is the "Butchers Tragedy". They're amazing.
I also didn't know Simon Pegg was a drummer.
The one when Simon Pegg assassinates a duck (isn't that Alan Partridge's hotel btw??) had me in tears, as did the apocalypse now one
There's one where they play doomed raf pilots and all scream at the end, and all of their faces are just absolutely bloody brilliant!!
I love the way they just take things way way too far, like the one where they're looking for that mental scottish man to be a runner and he end up cutting the guy's ears off hehe
oh and there's one scetch which in itself isn't that funny and is very predictable, where simon pegg promises to kill himself in a business meeting if the manager doesn't love his plan, and then kills himself and thingy from Spaced (can never remember his name but he is SUCH a good actor!)- their dying is just so so so so funny!
World's worst oxymoron= "United Nations"
I love the episode when Mark Heap wants to change the name of the Ritz to the Titz. The scene is funny enough at first but Simon Peggs monkey impression at the end almost had me wetting myself (even better than Nick Frost's in Shaun of the Dead!)
"Bow down before the one you serve, you're gonna get what you deserve."
Hall and Oates on the council estate
What are you doing with my sandwich!!!!!!!"
Pure genious
Also the colditz sketch is hillarious, where the soldier keeps almost sneezing and swearing.
Pilot 1 - "Do you think a girl like you could ever love a crust old fly boy like me?"
Pilot 2 - "You know i would darling!"
If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?
NOW LISTEN CARFULLY, FOR I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE
muhmuhmuhmuhmuh
CHHHHAAAAARRRRGGGGGGE!!!
You obviously know little of hens, his mood was grim.
Bu my favorite has to be the cake department sketch, just the way Pegg is looking around the room waiting for someone else to say it
The Firefighting Showjumpers.
The French one with the traffic lights.
"And you?"
"I'm a set of portable traffic lights."
"Ah, of course."
"Max, Max! Look what I found!"
"Surely you knew my wife was a Mexican Bandidio!"
"You're laughing now, even from the grave. Aren't you, Pedro?"
"Haven't got any cocking batman puns.." Local radio dj, in series one, maybe in the first episode aired..oh big train how i miss you, the U.S has crap tv and i long for intelligent humour..
shareThe first sketch of series two, in which Mark Heap's character is reunited with his birth mother is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
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My favourite sketch has to be the Victorian scientist
Eldon with scientific equipment in front of him: Whats all this? I don't need this! Take it all away, go on! Take it away!
*Turns and looks at a picture of a man with his internal organs showing*
Eldon: And whats this? What on earths all of that inside of him? Disgusting! Take it away at once............ Im a fireman for gods sake.
That last line is said with such perfect timing. Eldon is such a great comedy actor.
The Jesus and Satan in the office one is hilarious! When Jesus bites into that sandwich then finds the note on his plate 'HAHA! YOU STUPID TWAT!' and then he calls Satan out of the office "Right, you, out! Yes! You!"
Also the Evil Hypnotist, when he suddenly stops laughing is just pure brilliant timing, I do believe I laughed to point where I seriously thought I was going to die.
There are just so many brilliant sketches in that show. I know there a few other very good sketch shows, but none so good as Big Train. Seriously one in a million.
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All of these are funny, but i think every one is forgeting the French movie sketch, where Heap finds a dead Eldon after fighting for the republicans in Spain. Heap searches Eldon's wallet, and finds a picture of Potatoe Face, to which he says *beep* Potatoe!"
That one gets me every time! It must be the accent!
Mark Heap as Ming the Merciless. It's just so random, the thought of him leading a mundane life.
sharemine is either the one with simon pegg teaching his son how to ride a bike...but the kid always ends up getting hurt or the mark heap gymnastics one
I once punched a guy out for saying that "Hawk the Slayer" was rubbish