MovieChat Forums > Office Space (1999) Discussion > 100 things we learned from Office Space

100 things we learned from Office Space

posted 10 years ago by leon_kratz
38 replies | jump to latest

I don't know if there was a similar thread in the past, but here goes...

1. Consult an occupational hypnotherapist if you hate your job and your problem will be solved instantly...or even better...get involved in a car accident and receive a sum of money consisting of SEVEN FIGURES.
2. Don't go to work, but sleep it off instead whenever you feel like it.
3. Just work hard enough not to get fired when you have a serious motivational problem at work.
4. Duck out early from work and turn off your answering machine in order to avoid overtime.
5. A programmer for a software company does about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work in a given week. The remainder of the week consists of staring at the desk and spacing out.
6. A true gangsta in action at work occupies the boss' parking lot and disassembles his own cubicle.

[–] coffeepartynation 10 years ago

7. You can earn more money from selling magazine subscriptions versus being a computer programmer.

[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] davidhartland 10 years ago

8. 37 pieces of flair is what it takes to get ahead in life.

[–] Leonard82 10 years ago

9. Expressing yourself at work also means giving your boss the finger.

[–] jenarista 10 years ago

10. It is good to have a neighbor who is concerned about your cornhole.

Don't you wish you were me? I know I do!

[–] sonofbeach-sheet 10 years ago

11. A blue-collar worker never admits he has a case of the Monday's unless he wants his ass kicked

12. People in Austin, Texas don't talk southern unless they're working class

[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] yusef-ghanima 9 years ago

13 if you want to know what to do when you go to prison for the first time, or if you want to get a name of a drug dealer, you need to talk to a black man.

i mostly will not be able to answer your reply, since marissa mayer hacked my email, no notification

[–] jc_hbk 9 years ago

14. If you get caught laundering money, you're going to federal "pound-me-in-the a**" prison.
15. Nerds will take the time to look up money laundering in the dictionary.

During Bill's inauguration, it took 3 secret servicemen to keep Hillary's arm down

[–] monkeyalien 9 years ago

16. You can just walk out of a office building with a sizable piece of equipment and put it in your trunk without any interference.

17. When you make a virus to embezzle money a fraction of a cent at time, make sure you have every decimal point in the right place. Better yet, test it before you deploy. Also, don't create it or even have it on a company-owned computer that could be traced back to you, unless you know the building is going to burn down and destroy the evidence.

(this signature was absent on picture day)

[–] yusef-ghanima 9 years ago

18 there is no aliens in the movie "office space."

i mostly will not be able to answer your reply, since marissa mayer hacked my email, no notification

[–] siltom1962 8 years ago

19. The Nazis had pieces of flare that they made the Jews wear.

[–] xMartyMcFlyx 8 years ago

20. Lumberg f-cked her.

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Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.

[–] MoviemanCin 8 years ago

21. If you want a better view of the window and the outside world, just unscrew you cube wall, and drop it in place.

22. Nobody knows what "PC Load Letter" means.

23. Kung Fu is on Channel 39.

24. Chicks dig dudes with money.

25. Always put a cover sheet on your TPS Reports.

26. 15 pieces of flair is the minimum at Chotchkie's.

27. Next Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day.

28. Consultants are always named Bob.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and / or doesn't.

[–] HumanFundRecipient 8 years ago

29. Saying "Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays" out loud means you deserve to get your ass kicked.

30. Peter's girlfriend cheated on him.

31. When a guy in a walker is getting somewhere faster than Peter was in his car, traffic is bad.

It don't matter who you hear it from. It's the same story.

[–] leon_kratz 8 years ago

32. Just hang up the phone whenever your (ex)girlfriend is giving you a hard time.
33. Take someone seriously when he is considering to set the building on fire.

[–] yesanything 8 years ago

Samir likes long sleeved shirts while Michael prefers short sleeves