She couldn't heal Mordred, even though she clearly wanted to- I wonder if perhaps she could have done that much for Ambrosia, even if she had wanted to. Also, I never got the impression that she made Ambrosia sick- Ambrosia was already ill when she appeared in the hut. I doubt Mab losing her temper did wonders for her already fragile health, but I don't believe Mab made her sick- she simply didn't really care that she was ill.
Whilst you also have a valid point about Merlin's mother- well, lots of women have died in childbirth over history- one might argue that the father killed the mother, as if they had never slept together, she would never have gotten pregnant. Again, I think, it's less a matter of Mab killing her, or wanting her dead, as that she just doesn't care whether she lives or not, as she has served her purpose, and thus become irrelevant.
Now, I'm not saying this is brilliant moral behaviour, but bear in mind, Mab isn't a human, she's an elemental, a goddess, if you will, or a Fae, if you'd rather that. Just because she resembles a human doesn't mean that her motives, values and reactions will resemble their human equivalent, too. And on the subject of selfishness, we have to remember that, at least for a goodly portion of the time, she was fighting for her people- the creatures of the Old Ways- as well as herself. By the end, she did seem to be more concentrated on revenge, but this doesn't seem to have been the case all the way through.
Also bear in mind that for centuries, Mab's followers have been persecuted by first the Romans, then the Christians, and with the increasing following of the New Religion, she and her kind are at risk of extinction. I think even a human might go harder and/or crueller in the circumstances, if they didn't simply give up.
BUT, saying that, I don't neccessarily think that Merlin was the villain as opposed to Mab. It was quite clear that in the story of "Merlin", Mab was the main antagonist, she was intended to be the villain by the writers/directors etc. My thoughts are that Merlin's own actions were not flawless, either. And him helping Uther DIDN'T avoid a lot of death- Uther slept with Igraine, had Cornwall and his men slain, and then lived out a long reign descending into madness, like his own father. I think with a little reworking, and the inclusion of a few scenes that never made it into the final version, Mab could have been shown as far more of a protangonist than antagonist, just as with a little reworking of some scenes, Merlin could have come across as a far more negative character than he did. It has to mean something, after all, that the first time I watched this film, I thought Mab was a "good guy" until about halfway through the first episode.
Try not to panic. Just think of it as landing a little more vertically than usual
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