MovieChat Forums > Sick: The Life & Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist (1997) Discussion > Anyone else thought his wife was a bitch...

Anyone else thought his wife was a bitch?

posted 18 years ago by Polygraph
19 replies | jump to latest

I thought this was one of the very best documentaries I´ve ever seen, and Bob Flanagan the most sympathetic and- for a man in his situation- humerous person. But I found myself repeteadly appalled by the behaviour of his wife towards him. I mean, this man was dying, and his wife was not helping him any- instead she was constantly complaining about him, giving her not so much attention anymore etc.. I found her unpleasantly possessive and demanding- even after he was dead, she didn´t seem to care very much.
What are your opinions

[–] ClueByFour 18 years ago

Well, while I haven't actually seen the movie yet, I do know more than a little bit about Bob & Sheree's relationship. I never knew them personally, but we moved around in the same 'scene.' Sheree is a dominatrix, and Bob was her primary submissive/slave. This relationship does imply a certain level of expectation from the 'top' (I won't use Dominant here...the subs are the ones who are REALLY in control, and they know it!), and Bob was unable to perform to said expectations, due to the worsening of his condition. This bugged the hell out of him, as I have read in his journals. They were both experiencing difficulties due to his rapid decline in the end, and that would make anybody bitchy, ESPECIALLY a dominatrix! The feelings of a Dom/me are really hard to read by someone who isn't a part of the scene, and, IMHO, are still hard to read if you're part of the scene! The fact that she stayed at his side during his decline, despite her bitching and complaining, should say something about her feelings for him. It's hard to deal with someone in your life with a terminal illness; no matter how much you may love each other, the disease will come between you, whether it's cystic fibrosis, cancer, or HIV/AIDS. At some point, no matter how hard you try, the sickness will build a wall, and it's no suprise that some bitterness would occur. But she stayed with him, and that should tell you more about her than her attitude. Of course, being a Domme, she's kinda EXPECTED to be a bitch! That could just have been her way of dealing with the situation.

[–] sniper-redwolf 17 years ago

"Of course, being a Domme, she's kinda EXPECTED to be a bitch!"

Are you sure? Every Domme is a bitch?
I don't think so.

isn't better to judge her behaviour (and anyone else) as a PERSON than as a Domme?

It's foolishness to generalize things like this.

[–] 17 years ago

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[–] stark23x 17 years ago

If you thought she was bad on film, try dealing with her. Possessive and demanding are very apt descriptions.

--
JimK
http://right-thoughts.us/

[–] soulflyhigh 17 years ago

Total bitch. The scene where she is trying to get him to sign over all his possesions and art and not leave anything for his parent showed that she didn't really care about him.

[–] treetherealest 16 years ago

Yeah, she was pretty bitchy and when I was reading about the film she didn't want it to be made at first. She is a control freak and selfish, but she is a dominatrix, so in ways you do have to expect it.

[–] pigswill00 16 years ago

Ughh, what a godawfull bitch. So close to death, and punching him in the stomach while he begs her to stop. Someone should have smashed her around. And whining and sniveling that he doesn't submit to her anymore as he's trying to breath his last few breaths. This goes so damned far beyone S&M and into creep zone. You could see he'd lost his taste for it and it was just pure unenjoyable torment to him when he should have been dying peacefully.
Sheree just bloody sickens me.

[–] lordofthegrave 16 years ago

I don't know, sometimes I thought it was hard to tell if her 'insensitivity' was part of their act, a continuation of their roles... brilliant docu though, Kirby Dick's pretty damn skilled at what he does and Flanagan is possibly one of the most inspiring people ever to grace this planet.

[–] Victorias_Secret 12 years ago

I'm in the scene but my Domme would never expect me to submit when I
am sick. We are Domme and sub but we are humans first.

Terry (one of the 99%)
Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you whoosh.

[–] Jumping_Elephant 16 years ago

Pretty much everything she did was fueled by the fact that she was/is a *beep* *beep* Wow, did I hate her. Honestly, I thought she could have been possessed by Satan.

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] Jumping_Elephant 15 years ago

it's really hard for me to believe that she loved him. i mean, i saw the film a couple of years ago so my memory isn't exactly fresh, but i do seem to recall her making him promise ("if you love me") to put all of his stuff in her name. also, when bob was dying i seem to remember her practically telling bob to die. that is, she was saying something like "it's okay to let go..." but still... the way she said it over and over kind of makes one wonder...

My vote history: http://www.imdb.com/mymovies/list?l=22981176

[–] madam_harkonnen 15 years ago

I saw the film years ago when it first came out (haven't seen it since, unfortunately), but her whining, self-centred knobtwatishness is one of the things that has stayed with me most powerfully to this day.

[–] honestlymydear 15 years ago

I thought I was the only one bothered by that- I also really didn't like how exploitative she was of him OUTSIDE of their "relationship"...

Here's why for me:

The part when she prompted him on tape to relinquish all of his possessions/stuff to her when he dies- his artwork, books, belongings and such. Then at the end asks him (to state on tape)if he was being in any way coherence into him saying he'd leave everything he owns to her.

Then "jokes" about wondering if this will stand up in court!!

I thought she was disgusting for that....

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] cookiela2001 12 years ago

I thought they had a very good relationship, in that they seemed to be consistently giving each other what they needed. Clearly, they were together for almost 2 decades, and at the very end, he's gasping out "I love you so much". So, um, that's a LOT. (Not many of us will have someone say that to us with such emotion on their deathbed.)

I didn't take the scene about dispursing his possessions too seriously. They both knew she'd end up with everything. They were devoted to each other.

[–] 12 years ago

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