Holy f@%+ing plotholes, Batman!

Wow, this was stupid. I enjoyed it the first time I saw it in the theater 10 years ago, but having just seen it, it's got plotholes you could fly the Space Shuttle through.

1. The question that Ed Harris and the black female detective discuss is well-taken. Why would he enter through the ground floor, defeating all the security systems, and then leave through the window? More to the point, why the hell would Clint Eastwood bring a harness and rope to go through the window? There is no reason for it!

2. Putting that aside, the two secret service guys being around while the Pres is getting his jollies, of course, that's fine. But the Chief of Staff? Are you kidding me? She'd be at home asleep in bed! Or does she like to hang out and watch the Pres doing his Eliot Spitzer impersonation? There would possibly be a "Body Man" (think of Dule Hill's character in West Wing) or the "Guy with the Football" (carrying the nuclear launch codes) who would be closely following the Pres, but not the Chief of Staff.

3. I don't care how much you vacuum, the President's blood stains from his arm ain't gonna come out of that rug.

4. What, did those two guys run up 12 flights of stairs to get back to the bedroom, while Clint had plenty of time to put on that harness, string the rope, and go out the window? That building wasn't that tall!

4. 67-year-old Clint Eastwood, with at least 50 pounds of stolen jewelry, coins, burglary equipment, and most importantly, humongous wads of cash strapped to his back, outrunning 43-year-old Dennis Haysbert? An old white guy outrunning a brother who, according to IMDb.com, "was a defensive end on his high school football team?" WTF?

5. Secret service guys who just happen to have night vision goggles lying around in the truck?

Now let's cut through the BS and get to the most important one:

6. When Clint's having the main discussion with Laura Linney, he says, "Ed Harris will never believe a jewel thief over the Pres." Too bad Laura Linney didn't say, "Yeah, you're right. If only you had proof, something that would hold up in a court of law, like a semen-stained dress." And too bad Clint didn't respond, "Oh, you mean like a letter opener with the dead woman's fingerprints on it and stained with the President's blood? But who, oh who would I ever give that to? Do I even know someone who's in law enforcement who I could trust? Someone, say, who I saw graduate from law school? Someone who I saw win her first case? No, I don't know anyone like that."

I mean, give me a f@cking break!




I asked the doctor to take your picture so I can look at you from inside as well.