MovieChat Forums > Werewolf (1996) Discussion > Favorite MST3k quotes

Favorite MST3k quotes


Here are a couple for starters (this is one of my favorite episodes, by the way)

"The Ford Ranger, the official truck of the English Patient"

Yuri: "...It's the American way"

Servo: "though there are no Americans in this film"

Mike: "Keith Bielderbeck, building a better back for you"

"As a recovering werewolf, i'm very happy with my Krafmatic adjustable bed."

After the werewolf crashes his car into those barrels of gasoline

"the LEAST successful werewolf in the history of the world"

"so his plan is to rid the world of securitiy guards one by one, by turning them into werewolves and having them crash their cars...well it seems to be working so far"

(shot of ceiling fan) "De Niro...Snipes...The Fan"

"thanks for turning off the bad soundtrack"

"boom! another hairstyle"

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Maybe not my favorite quote, but probably the funniest now-a-days. When there's a shot of a gas station where the cheapest gas is I believe $1.34 per gallon Crow says, "Geez, look at those gas prices. What are they in Port Au Prince?" And I remember thinking to myself at the time, "Wow that is alot for gas" How times can change in 7 years.

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Yuri: You callin' me a psychopath?
Crow: I'll kill your WHOLE FAMILY if you call me that again!

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Strange woman in attic which serves no purpose.

"Dear servicemen, send pants at once."

"Well....I better take my pants off and do some typing..."

"I'm crying 'cuz I miss having no pants on."

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"ok, timeout, everyone go up a shirtsize!"

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TUSK!

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"Did he seem... DEAD to you?"

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Something about wolves sleeping nose to anus.

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"Those caribou don't stand a chance now that I'm driving!"

The whole undertone gag they do when the movie introduces the skeleton in the lab. Hee hee.

Yuri's damn hair.

Yawn...

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(After the infamous "BAD bad" quote:

Doctor: He's got no pulse.
Servo: His prognosis has been updated to BAD bad bad bad bad.

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(showing the Werewolf running into an area with boulders and woods)
Servo: "Well his apartment is right next to monument valley."
(Noel after chasing the werewolf for a short time, stops and turns around)
Crow: "Well folks, should I follow him? What do you think?"

(Werewolf rolling over a car hood)
Mike: "Directed by Jackie Chan"

Sam the Keeper: "I'm Sam. The keeper. I'm the good guy."
Crow: "Right folks?"

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"The cheeseball's got no freeckin' class"

"Go for a walk"
-"Over there in the walking area"

"Oh man, I've really gotten behind in my penthouses here"

"yeah champagne!"

"I just feel like stayin out and sniffin' butts all night"

"Oh great, a random citizen who can kick a werewolf's a$$"

TIME CHASERS - It takes a chin
(watched that last night)

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One more:
Establishing shot (a very loooong establishing shot) of some office building, with mournful cello music and wolf howls. Crow remarks:

"Ah, yes... Concerto in A Minor for Cello and Werewolf!"

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Natalie to Paul "Welcome to Flagstaff."

Servo "Welcome to my flagstaff, if you know what I mean."

That line gets me every time I hear it.

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the werewolf is crawling on the groung

"and he's coming at her at a frighting pace."

"I am the greatest"

"Looks like the director got to borrow his cousin's dolly."

Paul after losing at pool: You're a hustler

Survo: No, I was in Hustler.

"It's not a good sign when the action in your film is upstaged by a mural."

"You know it's actualy econmical to not have a plot; you can just film people saying stuff."

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It has been a while but the line went something like this
Man who looks like bob Vila get atacked
well bob what we are doing her is getting attacked by a werewolf.

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my favorite...

"Freddy Kruger, Hellraiser,...Paul"

[opening shot of diggers...digging in the sand]
Tom: "We have the worst tree farm ever!!"

[Natalie going to find Paul]
Mike: "I'z goen to find Poaul"

[Yuri placing werewolf skull on ground]
Mike: "I think my dog needs a new head"

[During "brawl" at dig site, and Noel comes in his jeep]
"The man in the yellow hat comes to settle the matter"

[on opening credits at Joe Estevez]
Crow: "well so far the star power is Charlie Sheens' uncle"

[when Natalie, Noel, and Yuri looking over skeleton, you hear wolf howls in the background]
Natalie: What was that? Did you hear that?
Crow [on yuri]: "Oh it's nothing I have rabid dogs in my hair"

[Joe Estevez throws beer can on ground]
Tom: "Oh look an ancient beer can! oh nevermind"

[Joe Estevez and...other guy holding guns]
Joe: "What do you got in there?"
Other guy: "A Silver bullet"
Crow: "Is there a Coors Lite in your gun?"

Sam: [letting Paul in] Oh hey, we've been waiting for ya!
Tom: "Just head on down to the crawl space I'll be right there to kill ya"

Paul: [saying something...but hard to understand since the sound was horrible]
Crow: "You know what, I'll come over there I can't hear you at all"

[during Yuri and Paul's fight at the party]
Crow:"Loud mumbling breaks out!"

[during Yuri's walk]
Tom: "He's right! The walk is helping me rethink my life!"

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haha.. one of my very favourite MST episodes; right up there with Hobgoblins, Puma Man, Pod People and Robot Holocaust

you guys listed all the best quotes already but I've got a few things to add..

in the "Yuri takes a walk scene"
Tom: "He's right! The walk is helping me rethink my life! I'm going to start a charitable foundation for people who paw women.. yes!"

and my absolute favourite riff of the movie is when Paul is wolfing-out at the house and throws no-pants-lady down the stairs; the shot is of Paul w/ his mouth open, trying to be "scary" but Mike does this really goofy laugh over him.. man that makes me lose it every time

I also love how during Paul's first murder scene, when he's chasing the pre-muddied woman through the dark, he attempts to walk on all fours (only in this one scene does he try and do this). It looks really awkward and Crow says something like "he's become a were-worm!"

Oh and I just remembered another major laugh for me.. when Paul first arrives at the house, the scene is filmed from across the street, with a parked car directly in the way. Servo says something like, "wow, now how does the director even CONCIEVE of a shot like this? Pure brilliance!"

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I am sure someone said this but it is worth repeating;
( long pause here) " Thats absolutely fascinating!"
Crow: Right?

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"They'r eexcavating a tiramisu-We've found another stratum of ladyfingers" "Flagstaff, am I still only in Flagstaff" (especially good given the Apocalypse Now connection of Joe Estevez) " Even though we have yet to see an American in this film"

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Let's just swing over to see Bluto, and Flounder, and Pinto!


And that medley at the end with One Night In Bangkok and Give It Away and Oklahoma and Cats in the Cradle.

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*Indian sniffles* "There's just so much trash on the highway."

"I'm Martin Sheen's brother, does that help?"

Haha, classic episode.

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The ending credits, where they sing a load of songs over the poor music is great.

But the "Grandma!" and operatic werewolf skeleton make me laugh every time.

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The lady goes "This is absolutely fascinating" in the most bored tone and stoned face, which leads to one of them going " . . . . right?"

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Sam: Werewolf?

Crow No, i'm a sqirrel monkey

Mike: This is God, we reviwerd it with the committe, and I won't be saving you.

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