MovieChat Forums > Welcome to the Dollhouse (1996) Discussion > The way bullying is always portrayed in ...

The way bullying is always portrayed in America. How realistic is it?

posted 10 years ago by Trimac20
20 replies | jump to latest

In numerous American movies and TV shows set in high school, it seems bullying is very prevalent and visible. If you're unpopular, a nerd.etc, there's always one stereotypical bully who shoves you into lockers, calls you names, or even beats you up. I notice they dramatise things for entertainment but seriously, is this how it really is/was like for some people or do they exaggerate a lot?

I'm from Australia. I was that nerdy, shy kid but I was actually hardly bullied in high school...well at least to my face, lol. No name calling, physical abuse, or people giving me the cold shoulder or refusing to sit with me.etc. My shyness though prevented me from socialising that much. Yet there were two kids who used to push me around/playfight with me 'just for fun' and I didn't like it, but they later (well one of them, the other left) quite friendly. Anyway, maybe the fact I always went to the library and read at lunchtime helped? Indeed most of the popular kids were actually quite outwardly nice to me. There's this stereotype the popular kids are mean (e.g. Mean Girls) but I find it's often those who have their own problems that are worse. At least, I suppose, bullies whether Nelson Muntz or Brandon in this film are often shown to have overbearing parents/troubled families.

But yeah, even though I was like Dawn this definitely didn't represent my high school experience. I'm sure it hit home for some, but was bullying ever so blatant and mean-spirited? I'm 27, btw, so a few years younger than what Dawn would've mean (assuming she's say 13 in 1995).

[–] ThoseLittleRabbits 8 years ago

most of the bullying i went through was verbal. i never witnessed or experienced people being shoved into lockers, or thrown into dumpsters, like movies/cartoons. although i have had couple of people put their hands on me, but i handled them :) in one year that i went to school the ''populars'' who were older and in sports teams, were a$$holes. other people who weren't popular would act like a$$holes in order to fit it. very pathetic. i was 11-12 years old that year, and didn't want to be apart of that nonsense, so i ended up being friendless. and the best part was that i'm the one that got called anti social because i didn't want to hang out with bullies   worst school ever.

i've got feelings too, ya know - inbetweeners

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[–] MrsJove 8 years ago

Good to know you weren't bullied. I was bullied at home. So no help. But I know in my cousins middle school it was like that, I went with my aunt a lot, bc my cousin was a bully, they called all the bullies parents and the victims and sat down numerous times about their problems. The victims would get shoved into lockers, money stolen, name calling, tripping, threats. You name it. The only thing wro g in my cousins life was his father being absent. No abuse, had money, things bought, lots of love and advice from his mom, etc. He was just twisted. Somtimes that's life. Maybe someyhing happened to him? I know his brother got raped, so maybe it affected him as well? Idk...

Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.

[–] krisbudz14 8 years ago

Dawn was in junior high, not high school.

As for the portrayal, it might have been more realistic in it's generation. Nowadays, I mostly hear girls who are "too pretty" being bullied instead of those who are nerdy or weird.

[–] Goldeneyeroyale 8 years ago

Certainly when I was at school in the States (age 13-18) in the 80s it was pretty bad. i escaped most of it cause of my accent plus being good at sports, but certainly nerdy kids were shoved around, mocked and geenrally ostracised. i obviously didn't know about how girls treated eachother, but from what female friends now tell me, apparently it was even worse than how the guys treated people.

So to answer your question - yes certainly, in some areas in some schools in the 80s. everywhere, certainly not.

Although bullying exists nowadays, it is far more subtle and the teachers have to act with anything too overt...nowadays if dawn's mother were to say to the principle she had no friends whatsoever, the principle would at least make some token effort to have her see the school nurse/a counsellor/something. He wouldn't simply be able to ignore it as he does. So nowadays the physical bullying is less bad because of stronger penalties (whereas when I first joined school, the athletes did get a much easier ride, and the school didn't kick them out for properly hurting people).

[–] 8 years ago

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[–] chris_kirke 8 years ago

I agree with others in this thread who suggest that bullying has become less of a problem over the years. I went to school in England in the 80s and, whilst bullying was not quite as bad as in American movies, there was name-calling, threats, and occasional violence. I gather that Australia has had less of a problem with bullying than either the UK or the USA.

[–] Kompressor_Fan 8 years ago

I went to school in the late '60's and throughout the '70's...
..it's an accurate depiction of what I witnessed growing up.

[–] andromache3 8 years ago

I gather that Australia has had less of a problem with bullying than either the UK or the USA.

There are jerks everywhere, so I wouldn't say that.

"You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you." Mr Darcy

[–] 8 years ago

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[–] seanups 8 years ago

keep in mind these movies are from the minds of people in film. They blame society for everything. the one thing I found is bullied people can turn around and be just as mean as some one else. there was a funny 30 rock episode where the main star decides to go back to her school reunion and show her bullies what a success she became. She finds out that everyone was afraid of her in school. The popular as well as unpopular kids feared her. These films are peoples one sided story of school. The charector based on them always takes it but never dishes it out. That isn't really true.

[–] lrdcharlton 8 years ago

I can say that it is true as I was a target for bullies. However, I had a tendency to strike back and when I did was often a little too harshly. Because I wS small and known to be really nice, people often thought I wouldn't retaliate against them. I initially want like that until I was involved in several incidents were the bully would beat me up and even though I HD not did anything back to the bully, I was suspended. So my thought was if I was going to get in trouble I might as well do something.my intent was to retaliate harshly to end things quickly. Also I would do so in a manner in which their were no witnesses to see what I would do in retaliation. And if I suspected the bully was going to report me, I would make the first move to make it look like they were the only aggressor.

Unfortunately, I developed a knack for this and I guess felt the power or whatever kick the original perpetrator got out it. After a while a stopped doing that because I figured that I was becoming exactly what they were and I started feeling guilty. Unlike dawn in the film, I never directed my anger at the undeserving, which made me me feel a little less sympathetic than I originally was. But a victim can become exactly what they hate.

[–] Benedict_Cumberbatch 8 years ago

Unfortunately, I believe bullying as portrayed by Solondz in this film (his greatest, IMO) is still prevalent in many places.

Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's.