Terribly Terribly Anti-feminist

A few days ago, I realized I had free HBO for the weekend. So as I looked through the schedule of upcoming movies (most of them botched from their original aspect ratio with the brilliant advent of pan & scan), I saw Billy Madison. "Oh, a classic" I thought to myself, recalling my enthusiastic proclamation for it as a child. If anything, it would be a fun movie to watch while I ate lunch this week. I hit record on my remote. Big mistake.

It was the most misogynistic *beep* I have seen in a long time! It was *beep* TERRIBLE, and I’m disgusted with myself for liking it as a child.

Okay, let's talk about that dumb twat, ugh, what was her name? VERONICA?? That was Billy's 3rd grade teacher. Let me paint a picture for you. Billy's on the bus. There's a 3rd grader behind him who says, "I dare you to touch her boobs." (???). So of course, he GROPES her on the bus. Okay, that's *beep* ridiculous. But she just like, LAUGHES IT OFF, and later says the words, "you're not the first person to try and touch my boobs." WTF?? If there is a girl who is okay with being GROPED, with the reasoning that it's NOT THE FIRST TIME let me know. I’d be interested in being proved wrong.

Even if you want to argue that she had a thing for him, what kind of pathetic lapse of human being is okay with being abused by another person, just because they’re interested in them?? The film goes on to the point where he eventually gets her. Typical anti-feminist *beep* that is constantly regurgitated in a disgusting pattern throughout our cinema.

The other part about her that really pisses me off, is the fact that she was a TOTAL BITCH to him at first. For no *beep* reason. Then, all of the sudden, she starts liking him (after the grope sequence). There was nothing to suggest he changed, it just showed her in love with him all of the sudden. The reason the film makers did this was to make it seem like it was actually an accomplishment for Billy to get her. Why is that?

Here's what the film makers were trying to do. Painting Billy as getting the perfect woman is part of their appeal system, and this particular films rhetorical power (if it even has any). They want you to struggle with Billy, and then be happy when he succeeds (gives ya that feel-good feeling down in your body that American audiences go *beep* bananas for). So to do this, they give you their “perfect woman”. Let’s list some characteristics of their model woman.

1. She’s attractive (All the time I might add)
2. She’s 100% accepting of Billy (GOD FORBID she disapprove of Billy’s lifestyle.)
3. She’s ready to put out!
4. She’s in Love with a man.

Okay, do I have to go in depth on why painting the perfect woman as attractive 100% of the time is detrimental? From when she’s in the swimming pool (for a second there, I thought I was watching soft-core porn), to when she’s teaching her third grade class (okay, I have nothing against women wanting to be attractive, no matter their line of work, but it’s unfair to say women have to be fully made up all the time. Ugh). Answer? No, I don’t have to go in full depth. Even the dumbest of *beep* can see why that’s *beep*

Second, she’s barely an individual!! Now you have the sequence where she kicks his ass in an effort to get him to go back to school (might I add that this is the scene where it’s in a pool. They make her look ridiculously sexy. God forbid we let women be powerful on their own merits, they have to be sexy to be powerful.) Okay, so she’s disagreeing with Billy there, but what about the subtle personality traits EVERYWHERE else. When she goes into his tent for the first time, she sees that he has porn taped to his bathroom wall (wtf??). She just kinda laughs it off. Like it’s no big deal, or better yet, she best not question him, because that’s his business. God forbid she be offended by the pictures of PORNOGRAPHY PLASTERED AGAINST HIS WALL. *beep* like that is ALL OVER the movie.

Third, they make the girl into an object of sex. Granted, she helps Billy with other things, but when it comes down to it, she’s most helpful as a piece of sex. When she goes into the tent, that’s the first thing they get to doing. And then later, she strips for him to get him to learn. Let me get this straight, his motivation is to see more of her naked. Hmmm… yeah, that’s not objectifying her. God forbid a woman not want to put out. Ugh, *beep* disgusting.

And the most important thing is, she’s in love with Billy. That’s why you like Billy and want to be him. It’s because he has a woman that’s in love with him. Ah, I love it when women are objectified to the point of being purely a symbol of status. :D

The anti-feminist rhetoric spewed all over this film really makes me want to puke my *beep* guts out. *induces vomiting* What’s worse is that the director, the writer, Adam Sandler himself, and every person who worked on this piece of trash didn’t even know they were propagating misogynistic *beep* What’s even WORSE is that the vast majority of movie goers, men and women, see absolutely no problem with what was going on. Mostly because they can’t recognize it! It’s just another subtle piece of manipulation issued by the combine to put women down.

“But leik it was just a movie to make you laugh lololol take a chill pill!!1”

What’s even more disgusting is that even though I just clearly outlined how that movie sucked, men AND women will defend it to the bone with arguments like “but it’s just entertainment” and “sometimes I like to watch a stupid movie” and “why do you have to analyze everything”.

WAKE UP

It’s the subtle acceptance of the *beep* in society that kills it.

So here are my easy steps to remedy the *beep*

1) Rewatch Billy Madison so you can see it sucks.
2) Burn it if you own it.
3) Spread the word that it sucks.

Godspeed.