MovieChat Forums > Friends (1994) Discussion > Unpopular opinion: Phoebe is the best fr...

Unpopular opinion: Phoebe is the best friend.


I see that Phoebe gets a lot of hate in this board. So maybe I'm alone here - but I find her to be the funniest and most interesting character. People call her out for being selfish but ALL of the Friends were selfish in different ways. At least she was interesting and different.

I also find Lisa Kudrow to be the strongest actor in the series. No hate to the others, because I honestly adore all of them in their own way. When watching the series and through all the re-watches of the series - I find that I look forward to the Phoebe story lines the most.

I've read all the arguments about why she is a "bad" friend, and I am not disagreeing that she acted in self-interest some of the time, or that the other friends tip toe'd around to please her - all true. STILL, she is the most human, funniest, and realest of the Friends to me. Pretty much all of the other Friends (except maybe Joey?) had fairly pampered lives financially. They all had their problems (Monica's weight struggles, Chandler's issues with his parents, Ross's self confidence issues, Rachel's princess complex.) but Phoebe grew up in poverty and had a truly tragic and hard life.

She was homeless and had to deal with the suicide of her mother and zero *beep* given by her selfish twin sister. She lived in a car and got hepatitis from a pimp that spit in her mouth! Having grown up poor myself, she was the only one that I could relate to in a real way. While I haven't been lucky enough to contract Hepatitis from pimp spit, I relate to the fact that Phoebe had her childhood taken away from her. As an adult, she just wants to reclaim the time she lost. Most of the time she is pushing people out of their comfort zones. Some see that as a selfish, I see it as her trying to show the other friends - Don't take life so seriously!

Basically, what Phoebe says during her pregnancy rage sums up how her problems compare to the problems of her friends.

Phoebe: Good. Y’know—no-no, okay, it’s-it feels like everything’s been about me lately, so what’s happening with you?

Rachel: Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Ross’s wedding.

Phoebe: Oh!

Rachel: It just might be too hard, given the history and all that…

Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.

Rachel: Well, h-how is this like that?

Phoebe: Well, let’s see, it’s not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like y’know a bunch of y’know high school crap that nobody really gives y’know…

Rachel: (starting to cry) I’m-I’m sorry, I just thought that…

Phoebe: Alrighty, here come the water works. (Rachel starts crying harder.)


TLDR: I love all the Friends - but Phoebe is the most human to me.

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Popular opinion: You're wrong

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How can I be wrong? It's only an opinion. You could say the best Friend was Rachel, and you wouldn't be wrong, that would just be the one who speaks to you the most.

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Idukart sees him/herself as some kind of authority.

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Wow no reponse from the OP. This must be embarrassing

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Maybe not everyone's life revolves around IMDB like yours does.

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Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that I'll be over here looking through your stuff.

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Phoebe definitely brings some grit and edge to an otherwise rather vanilla group of people. She's the anomaly, thus she really stands out. I know a lot of people on this board dislike Phoebe because she is bitchy, but that biting humor is what makes her so funny. It wouldn't have been fair to have the only smart-ass of the group be a guy...I thought it was awesome that there was a strong female comedienne within the group. Why should Chandler have had all the fun with the sarcastic jokes?

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100% agree SilverLexiGirl. Well said.

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[deleted]

I don't remember Phoebe ever being especially sarcastic.

At best she was kooky, at worst just a bit unpleasant.


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She lacks a lot of phoniness that people naturally have. You know, that element where we smile instead of saying what we think or feel about something. In the example provided by the OP, Phoebe basically tells Rachel that her problems are stupid and self-created and then moves on.

Combine the bluntness with her odd-ball personality, and it results in a turn off for some people.

I like Phoebe as a character, but she never really seemed to fit as easily with the rest of the group.

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I agree, exactly why I love her

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When she's part of the ensemble she's fine but when you more closely inspect her character, she's just a little unpleasant and cruel.

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She's by far my favorite character too.

Big fan of Lisa Kudrow & Jennifer Aniston.

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Yes Phoebe and Rachel were and still my favorite characters! Joey and Monica my least favorite.

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She is my favourite as well. i think she is much the funniest.

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I agree. I think Phoebe was the most entertaining because she was ways so goofy and kooky. She came from terrible circumstances and still managed to be so delightful and fun. I also liked Chandler because he was so cute and sarcastic before he married Monica; after they got together, he became boring and a little wooden.

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Phoebe was whiny and annoying and always pulling the sympathy card. She was a grown up version of the 90s tv smart alec kid. Funny to watch (not to me), but you wouldn't want to be around them irl. Also, try to defend her taking money away from charity because she "deserved" a big wedding.

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pulling the dead mother card was the worst. couldn't stand it when she did that

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I like Phoebe and Ross the most. In the example you showed- Phoebe was very pregnant and cranky, her attitude was sorta realistic and wasn't just her being a bad friend

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