Favorite Wings Quotes

One of my favorite quotes that never fails to make me laugh. (my favorite quote's in bold)

Fay: Roy found out you’re going to the game tonight and he got the airport committee to call an emergency meeting.
Joe: No, no, no, no. You, uh, you’re gonna have to find someone else to handle that owl thing.

(Fay shakes her head.)

Joe: What about the president of the Nantucket Nature Society? Lois—
Fay: Lois Sanders. No, I’m afraid not. You remember that bumper sticker she has on her car, “I brake for field mice”? Well, she did and got rear-ended by a bus.

(Lowell is up on a ladder next to the Sandpiper Air counter)

Lowell: I paid her a visit in the hospital. She’s doin’ fine. Well, she’s still a little skittish if you come up behind her and go, “BEEP”!

I'm re-watching the pilot and I think this is one of the best moments between the two brothers; not only that, it really highlights Tim Daly and Steven Weber's dramatic talent.

(Brian and Joe enter the airport, fighting)
Helen: Hey! What the hell’s goin’ on?
Brian: I’ll tell you what’s going on. That key opened up a safe-deposit box, which had a key for another bank, which led to another key to another bank, which led to two bus stations, a post office, a train depot, and a kennel. And you want to know what we found?

Brian pulls out something from his pocket.

Brian: Another key. And you want to know where it goes? I’ll tell you where it goes. We don’t know where it goes! That’s where it goes! Come all the way back here and what do I end up with? Nada, zippo, zero, zilch. With nothing!
Joe: You’ve got Carol.
Brian: Oh, so now we get to it, huh? I thought you said you were over that.
Joe: Over you stealing the love of my life from me?
Brian: I didn’t steal her. She came after me.
Joe: Oh, come of it. Carol doesn’t have a deceptive bone in her body. She’s kind and good and honest, and you stole her from me, and it hurts. It hurts bad. I don’t think you could ever know how much.

Brian sighs.

Brian: She left me for another guy.
Joe: She left you, too?
Brian: Yeah.
Joe: That pig!
Brian: Ok, I’ll give you that, but she was my pig.
Joe: Well, at least the other guy wasn’t your brother.
Brian: Yeah, yeah. My brother would never have done that to me. I kind of thought if pop left us some money, she might want to come back. Hey, listen, Joe. No matter whose fault it was. If losing Carol made you feel the way I’ve felt since she’s left, then I’m—I’m really, really sorry.

I can't remember the circumstances, but for some reason Lowell thought God's name was Frank. A few minutes later, someone says, "Oh God..." Lowell responds with, "Don't be so formal. Call him Frank!"



One should always be on the lookout for fiendish thingies when enjoying winter sports.

Oh my gawd! I just read through this entire thread and I'm in tears I'm laughing so hard.

One of my favorite all time shows and I just watched the pilot on Netflix. I'm in for a great ride. Thanks for all the memories.

After Alex breaks up with Brian, and Tim is quoting back the same advice Brian gave him after he and Helen had broken up:

"Spare me the empty platitudes you sanctimonious windbag, my life is over!"

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From the episode "The Taming of the Shrew." This scene takes place at a meeting called "Transitions," a kind of group therapy. The punchline to this scene is one of the funniest things I've ever heard of TV.

The group facilitator: Helen, perhaps we can return to you now.
Helen: Listen, I'm sure you all mean well, but I just don't feel comfortable talking about this in front of strangers.
Facilitator: Oh well, here's an idea - why don't we try a little role play? One of our men here could pretend to be Joe and the two of you could have a conversation!
Helen: No, I don't think so, but thank you, ....
Facilitator: Oh, come on; go ahead. Harry here is very good at this. (She pulls Harry's chair into the center of the room; Harry stands up.)
Harry: A-yup! Last week I was a ninety-year-old black lady.
Helen: I really don't think so.
Facilitator: Oh, come on. No, no, come on. (She pulls Helen to her feet and brings Helen's chair into the middle of the room.) Here, you just try it; there we are. Okay?
Helen: Well, okay. (She and Harry sit down facing each other.)
Harry: Hi, Helen.
Helen: Hi, "Joe." (Everyone in the room claps.)
Facilitator: Small steps, Helen; small steps. Now, tell "Joe" what you really think of him.
Helen: (Chuckles.) No, I couldn't tell him what I really think of Joe.
Harry: Use me, I'm a tool!
Helen: Okay. (Pause.) "Joe," you shouldn't have treated me the way you did. You lied to me. You tricked me. You let me believe we had a relationship. Just who the hell do you think you are, two-timing me with some floozy? I'll tell you who you are. You're a no-good cheat, liar, pious, self-righteous, SOB, and I'd like to bite your head off and spit down your neck!
Harry: I don't want to play any more!

Fay: This is about a friend of yours, an old friend. I know this isn't going to be easy for you, but we found out this morning that Weeb Gilroy passed away.
Lowell: No, he didn't.
Brian: Yeah, Lowell, he did.
Lowell: No, Weeb Gilroy's not dead. You probably just saw him with his teeth out. Oh, Weeb Gilroy dead!. That's a pretty good one, huh! I'll see you guys later. (He exits into the hangar.)
Joe: Well, that went well.
Fay: It's obvious he's in denial.
Brian: That's right, denial. I remember that from college. It's one of the five stages people go through when they're coping with grief. Over the next few months he'll probably go through anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
Lowell: (Entering) I'm angry as hell at Weeb for dying! But I'd trade anything to get him back. Oh, what's the use? It's hopeless; he's gone! But, what are you going to do? Life goes on. (He exits to the hangar again.)
Brian: Some people go through it faster than others.