Favorite Wings Quotes

Brian: "Now I like Helen as much as you do, but sometimes in life you need to know when you cut your losses."
Joe: "Oh, and like you know when?"
Brian: "I'm here, aren't I?"

Fay: "I have just enough(money)to get me a souvenir."
Joe: "Allow me. Antonio.. give Fay the 'finger'."

Joe: "I don't know what happened. One minute, we're spanking each other with meat, and the next, it got weird."

Joe: "You didn't happen to get the license plate number on that thing."
Brian: "No, but the bumper sticker read, "55,000 miles an hour. A law we can live with."

Brian: "I'll get us out of this. Look, she's a woman. I'm me. Fill in the blanks."
Joe: "I really don't want to go to prison."

Roy: "So I was just supposed to assume that there was a blimp behind the door?"
Joe: "Well I always do before I knock on yours!!"

Joe: "Brian, it's a great offer. Why don't you stay over at Fay's?"
Brian: "I don't know... her home smells like dried flowers and Cream o' Wheat. That, and she's got one of those frilly toilet covers that comes down on you when you least expect it. It's like a guillotine."

...and my favorite sequence of the entire series, from season three between Helen and Joe's new girlfriend, Gayle---

Gayle: "Why are these meetings between us so awkward?"
Helen: "I don't know. Maybe because I'm Joe's 'ex', and your his...'why'?"
Gayle: "Maybe he just got sick of looking at the top of your head."
Helen: "Hey, I'm small. There's no denying it. Oh, those are really nice shoes. You know they usually don't come in the larger sizes."
Gayle: "The subtle humor of a fry cook."
Helen: "At least I work for a living."
Gayle: "You've got a point. Freelance journalism is more like a career."
Helen: "Oh yeah, I read your last article.."Breezy Bermuda: the gem of the Atlantic". Just where ARE you going to put the Pulitzer."
Gayle: "I can't expect you do understand the process, but that started out as a serious piece and my editor did a hatchet job on it."
Helen: "....Is that the same guy that does your hair?"
Gayle: "Big talk coming from someone with roots blacker than Alex Haley's."
Helen: "You pig!"
Gayle: "How dare you!!"
Helen: "Oh, like that's the first time you heard that today?"
Gayle: "No, just the first time from someone with a trailer-park accent."

Davis Lynch (to Joe Hackett), arriving on Nantucket via Sandpiper Air.

"Congratulations. That was the worst flight I've ever had and I was once in a mid-air collision."

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Lowell: Helen, there is no way I could cook a meal that lives up to my standards in two hours.

Helen: Well, could you cook one that lives up to MY standards?

Lowell: Oh sure. And I'll even have time for a snooze.
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Roy (to ex-wife Sylvia): I have my own airline with six planes. Does your husband own his own business?

Sylvia: No. He's the head of plastic surgery at Mass General.

Roy: Still punchin' the old time clock, eh?
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Joe (having dinner and drinks with Davis Lynch): Man, this is great scotch. It must go for, what, $20 a bottle?

Davis: Try $20 a shot.

Joe: You know, if things don't work out with Helen, I'll date ya!

Davis: Well Joe I've given you flowers, bought you dinner and drinks. Technically, you are dating me.