MovieChat Forums > Hobgoblins (1988) Discussion > Best MST3K quote during Hobgoblins

Best MST3K quote during Hobgoblins

posted 20 years ago by paulbutterworth1978
143 replies | jump to latest

This is by far my favorite movie ever spoofed on MST3K. The humour, the sarcasm, the pure f&^* you attitude that Crow and crew show this movie is just priceless. So with that in mind, I have to list a few of my fav quotes from this masterpiece of an MST3K ep!

Crow: "We are in hell right? I mean now when we meet people, we can tell them we have ACTUALLY been to hell"

Crow: "Can you catch a venerial disease from a movie"?

Tom (I believe): "Oh! They brought David Mamet in to punch up the script"

Mike: "Ah! An hour into the movie, and finally some Hobgoblins"

Tom (again I believe) singing along to music in the movie):"It's the '80's! Do alot of coke and vote for Ronald Regan"

Oh this movie is sooooo bad it is unbelievable! But the MST3K episode is priceless!

[–] MissEJ26 20 years ago

My personal favorite:

Mike: "Look, look, there, did you see? The hose out-acted him."

One may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
-The Bard of course

[–] Merlin242 20 years ago

Ok, some ppl here seem to have become a little caried away..
We were asked for some favorite-lines not the entire transcript ;-p

Anyway, my personal favorite:
"Can we have a law that in the future; films have to be made by FILMMAKERS?!"
-Crow

I think hobgoblins is the only movie they have tried to run away from..
My personal favorites is 'The undead' and 'Escape 2000'

//D

[–] whitesnake1985 20 years ago

How about the part when the frigid bitchy girl is looking at the add for Club Scum and Tom says: "What a cleaver add, Im going to show the girls at church".

Also when the Hobgoblins are chasing the old guy and the whiney loser and the old guy closes the gate behind him and Crow says: "Try some pole dancing".

When the old guy is waiting for Kevin and asks "Where is he?"
Mike: "The angel of death, Ive waited so long".

When Kevin ponts the gun at the burglar and the burglar says "Put that away, you dont know how to use it"
Crow: "Alright I didnt plug it in you got me".

The scene where Kevin is talking to the old guy and says "You know when you cant make someone you care about happy?"
Old security guard: "Your girlfreind?"
Mike: "No, I cant keep my hamster happy"
Crow: "Can I lossen her up for you?"

We really need to get this one on DVD soon.

[–] spookyhead 20 years ago

"I'll also tell you about my problematic urethra if you'll follow me."

Awesome.

[–] Macgyver12186 20 years ago

wqhen they se the sign hit
Tom they should really add an s to that
Mike Hits

OOh no the vault

I gotta lobby for medicare cuts immediatly
Can't you see what i'm trying to tell you I love you.

by the way anyone else wish they mst3ked some of the slasher films. Seriosuly like Jason take manhatten

[–] maixiu 19 years ago

"Meet the Hobgoblins: Frankie, Sniffles, Bounce-Bounce, and The Claw!"

[–] hollankreil 19 years ago

I'm quoting from memory so these probably aren't the exact quotes:

"This is the gun that was used to kill Arch-Duke Fredinand."

"You are listening to old man radio: W-O-L-D."

[–] goose749 19 years ago

The first one was:

McCreedy, pulling out his gun: "This is what I was telling you about."
Mike: "Use it to kill Arch-Duke Ferdinand."
---------------------------------------------------------

Crow: "Oh, Nick's in the French Army, I see."
---------------------------------------------------------

Servo: "I don't need to see every part of the human anatomy outlined in spandex. I can trust it's all there."
---------------------------------------------------------

(this one deserves to be here simply because it's all in the same sequence)
Daphne: "Go, Nick, kick his butt!"
Mike: "Yeah, give him a big, rusty gash in his head, c'mon!"
Crow: "Can we have a law that in the future films have to be made by filmmakers?"
Servo: "Is that a condom she has hanging from her blouse?"
Daphne: "I'm getting so sweaty already."
Mike: "So we sent our armies to the Gulf War with garden shovels and grass rollers?"
Crow: "Their garden tools make little Casio sounds."
Daphne: "Yeah, go for it!"
Servo: "Yeah, really, really kill him! Please!"
Mike: "You know, I'd switch to the weed whacker at this point."
Crow: "Throw some Miracle-Gro in his eyes!"
Servo, mocking Nick: "I'm gonna compost you, man..."
Mike: "*yawn* All the tension. Will they water their lawn?"
Servo: "Wow."
Crow: "Ever?... I'll bet Nick can also field strip his rake blindfolded."
Servo: "This movie's making me nostalgic for the film 'Gymkata.'"
Mike: "Oh, it just happened, did you see that? The hose out-acted them."
Crow: "Yeah... yeah I saw... Did you know that Nick went on to play... Pong in his underwear while drinking beer?"
Servo: "Hey, hooray! You ruptured his spleen, yay!"
Mike: "Now, I'm gonna remove your thatch."
Servo, mocking Kyle: "Don't let them hurt my red shorts, please."
Mike: *sigh*
Servo: "Wow, yeah."
Mike: "I could watch this forever."
Servo: "Yeah."
Mike: "Do you have a feeling I probably will be?"
Bots: "Yeah."
Crow: "So, does 'Hardware Hank' have a major defense contract, or..."
Mike: "Nick's also a black belt in Whack-A-Mole."
Servo: "Haha, that's neat. Welcome home, Nick."
Nick: "You give up?"
Kevin: "YES!"
Crow: "Now Nick's going to declare martial law, loot his museums, and call in an airstrike."

[–] mx1349 19 years ago

Mike: (When the first assistant guard thinks he's on stage) "Ladies and gentlemen... Flat-Butt!"

Crow: (Mocking the first assistant guard while he's singing) "We are on the road to nowhere!"

[–] 19 years ago

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[–] 19 years ago

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[–] Thomas_Neville_Servo 19 years ago

Three of my favorite lines that no one has mentioned yet are (if they have been mentioned, sorry for overlooking them :P):

[Mike imitating red shorts guy] "There's a girl touching me, YUCK!!"

[Crow imitating Nick after he proposed a threesome] "Oh, like I'm the pig!"

[Mike talking about Nick's quick wit]:
-Nick pulls up and looks in the window while the three losers are trying to escape the hobgoblins and says "Looks like a new dance!"
-Mike replies with something like "The army was looking for sharp people, and Nick qualified!"

[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] twoelke 19 years ago

Kevin: Oh my god
Tom: If this is your god, you have a severe ontological crisis.

[–] gemmah 19 years ago

[servo interviewing a cardboard cut out of rick sloane during the end credits with crow doing the voice]
servo: so mr. sloane, while you were filming your hit movie hobgoblins, were you high on crack? say yes!

crow: yes, yes, i had been doing quite a bit of crack that day as i recall.

also, the whiney UHHHHH, every time kevin would talk in that whiny annoying voice.

servo: the puppeteers knuckles must be bloody by now.

mike: just tell us how to turn off the music!

but the greatest scene to me contained no dialogue. it was the scene wherekevin fought that one guy with the nunchucks. after he took his first swing and missed the nunchuck so obviously postioned himself and waited for kevin to punch (or push) him in the back even servo luaghed at it obviousness.

[–] annieskid 19 years ago

"Pee-wee Herman...casual wear"

"Serpico...Dirty Harry....Jake Gittes...KEVIN!"

"You're listening to Old Guy Getting Killed channel, WOLD"
(singing) W O L D

"Back then I had the popular Jerry Orbach haircut"

"Take your stupid consideration and go to hell"

"A tragic accident as the two actors were NOT in the car"

[–] dereksmith27 19 years ago

I watched the first half of this movie as a MST3K episode, and even with the guys making fun of it, I still couldn't finish it. That shows how crappy of a movie it was. It sucked on every level imaginable, worst movie I've ever seen bar none! How about that epic rake fighting scene that lasted for 10 minutes. CRAPPY!

[–] davevine 19 years ago

When Amy comes out onto the stage and Kevin says "Oh, my God!"
--Mike--- "If that is your God, you have a serious ontological crisis."

Classic MST3K

[–] KUAlum26 19 years ago

All great lines for a painfully bad film.
Mine is:
CROW:I hear(the guy who played)Nick went on to play Pong...in his underwear...drinking a beer.

CROW: Hey,he just threw his stool at him! Just picked up his stool and threw it at him...that's a pretty hard stool...he should get some stool softener!"
(from "The Screaming Skull")

[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] radarking 19 years ago

Do you mean "Pig Sticker"? Or was was it "Fish Licker"?

"Oscar has shown his tattoo. Now he must kill."

[–] latviancowboysfan 19 years ago

How is everyone leaving out the interview with Rick Sloan?
Tom: *sitting next to cardboard cutout of director Rick Sloan* Tell me Mr. Sloan did you have your brain taken out and replace with rat droppings *whispering) Say "yes" Crow.

This signature is for the express purpose of putting in cool smileys

[–] underwoc 18 years ago

Pig Liquor?

-----
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty to do.
-Jerome K. Jerome

[–] SacredJellybean 19 years ago

This is at the part where Daphne runs outside to see Nick, but doesn't see him there, and stands around looking annoyed.

Mike: (imitating Daphne) "Really, anyone will do..."

I'm pretty sure this is from the same episode:

Crow: "Mike, if I run out of vomit, can I borrow some of yours?"

[–] chewiewookiee 19 years ago

Here are some of my favorites.

"Freessshhh Fish"

"Oh, the tension is building. Will they water their lawn?"

"Get ready for spit take. Spit take away!"

"Smooth ride, good steering, I like it."

"Yes, I see your point."

"The car will do anything to get out of the movie"