From the OP:
Love the lines when Michael Caine talks about a message he sent a girlfriend...
"Found A Virgin, it's Paradise..Yours, Matthew.." LMAO! Best ever! Still laugh my arse off over it! P.S Nobody plays a drunk better than Mr.Caine
Actually, he described in the first "aside" how he was transferred to a Pacific island, invited his girl to visit, and sent her a postcard every day, with a single word on each one... She got them out of order, and never spoke to him again, but his original message was "Found a virgin paradise. It's yours, Matthew"
What a plan... Two words swapped turned an intriguing message into a horrible 'burn'.
Matthew to housekeeper as he is leaving:
"And I've heard all I want out of you!" ... but she
NEVER spoke
Just prior to saying that, the housekeeper had brought him a pair of sunglasses and the necklace Jennifer had given him. He took the sunglasses and looked at the necklace, prompting Karen to ask "What's that thing?" He turned it another time or two, showing the previously mentioned "one inch god with a two inch penis" no longer had a penis, and tossed it out the car the window, saying "It's nothing. Let's go."
Matthew (final aside):
"Victor got his divorce. Then he and his wife turned around and married each other again. Victor said it was so she could get the other half of everything he owned."
In the spirit of the "Unnecessary Censorship" segment on a certain late night TV show:
Jennifer (writing in her diary about her night on the beach with Matthew):
"I'll never forget the way he felt. I'll never forget the way we felt. Nothing's perfect though. It's going to take a month to get all the sand out of my *$*$*$*$*$*".
The word was "bellybutton". *smile*
of course it was...
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