Crow: The inspiration for a COP AND A HALF!
Joel: This is the maritime equivelant of rock climbing.
Two of my favorites:
Old lady in Caddy: "What do I put for value?"
Porter: "Just put $100."
Crow (?): "No, I mean street value, punk."
And, when the Andy Kaufman "lookalike" gets shot -
Crow: "Thank you veddy much."
Plus, all of Servo's Johnny Mathis stuff ("Chances Are... huh?")
Mitchell: "I guess the beer got a little excited."
Crow: "That's ok we can just cuddle."
*During dinner*
"What about the heroine?"
Crow: Oh, that's for dessert.
And that lame ass theme song was hilarious.
(After Mitchell shoots the guy running from him on the golf course)
"OH NO!! Mr Trevino's been hit again"
and so many others....
"Cause imma Italian ya know"
"No ones disturbed his porn pile"
(Linda Evans holding porn mag)
"Dont you think Im as good as any of these girls?"
(Joel) "I dunno, you got an air brush?"
(After spilling beer on Linda) Mitchell- "You want a towel?"
Linda- "You wanna lick it off?"
Joel- "ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
I would go on but i'm laughing too hard to type any more....
"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative"
(Mitchell eating dinner with Cummings)
Servo (as Mitchell) Uh, pass the potatoes, the peas, the butter, the peas, the pie, the butter...
Cummings: You're not ashamed and that's your trouble.
Servo (as Mitchell) Yeah, 'trouble'. Pass the gravy, the stuffing and...
(Mitchell wearing a hideously 70's plaid sport coat)
Joel: Uh could we get a little more volume on that jacket please?
For England, for home, and for the prize!
(Mitchell getting chewed out by his boss)
"I dont like you Mitchell, do you know why that is?"
(crow) "Perhaps our brief but bitter affair?"
the police station
Linda Evans- "How do you like that he sleeps with me then he busts me!"
Crow- "Well, first things first!"
Desk Cop-"Did you really sleep with her?"
Joel-"Yup, and I kissed her huhuh huh"
(While Mitchell is holding the helicopter cop in a classic rear entry position)
Servo - Mitchell! not here honey!"
At the very end, Cummings is trying to talk Mitchell out of hiding on the boat- "Ok Mitchell, im coming out now..."
Joel-"im going to start taking my clothes off....you better stop me!"
Cummings on the phone- Crow- "Your wearing what!? Is it sheer?"
One of the best laughs of this episode wasnt in the theatre though, it was the bots meltdown when Joel escaped....classic
"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative"
Linda Evans is walking around Mitchell's apartment
Servo: (as Linda) *Sniff Sniff* So do you work in a petting zoo?
She asks for a beer...
Crow: "You like 'em half empty? Some of them have cigarettes in them...Uh there's some chips under the cushion, help yourself"
For England, for home, and for the prize!
Mitchell is given his assignment to shadow Cummings
Aldridge: "It's a 24-hour surveillance and I want you to stay with him, until 'A', you bug him enough that he cracks or 'B', he incriminates himself concerning a crime in Mexico"
Crow: "Or 'C', you get drunk and pass out again!
For England, for home, and for the prize!
Greta, as Mitchell hands her a can of Schlitz....." You've got me wrong, I'd like it in a glass." Mitchell: " Uh, OK, Your Majesty...."
share" Damn......It's almost time, for Bozo!! "
shareI do not remember exactly how it goes, but when Mitchell is sitting on a park bench and stares down that guy and shoots him. MST3K crew are just in complete puzzlement... Hilarious.
And just "Johnny Mathis!" And then the singing (don't know the lyrics).
It has been SO Long since I've seen this, but this gets me every time:
I think Mitchell is in his car and he breaks the forth wall, looks right at the camera, and either Tom or Crow says (as Mitchell), "Hi folks!"
Old lady, "Bite Me Mitchell." I know it's been said before, but I love it.
"That shipment is NOT coming in through my harbor!"
"Ming ming minggg! THE SHIPMENT's IN!" -Crow
[deleted]
Wow, this car chase makes "Driving Miss Daisy" look like "Bullit."
shareServo (as John Saxon): "Johnny Mathis! Alright! Get my gun!"
Joel (as Robber): "If that's John Saxon I'm dead!"
That scene literally makes me laugh for hours!
No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater...than central air.
When Mitchell is going into John Saxon's house: "Reynolds Wrap. Keeps freshness in, can't keep Mitchell out."
And right when his hand punches through the Reynolds Wrap: "Liquid Metal"
Oh how I love this episode, one of my faves.
How about when mitchell throws a dead merlinolson over the side of the boatg and tom servo says "so long, chum
shareJoel as Mitchell walks to a door like George Jefferson: 'Movin' on up!'
Crow: 'Weezie!'
[deleted]
During the end credits sequence:
(Hoyt Axton's name shows up as singer of the Mitchell theme, which also plays in the end credits)
Joel: Hoyt! how could you?
(the audio suddenly warps and speeds up slightly for a moment)
Joel: Wha? Hoyt, what happened?
I also thought the aforementioned 'Mittens' and baby oil quips were hilarious, too...
Tim (aka the Slipperman)
---------
I Tara Sands
Morgan Webb is EVIL
Joel: Uh The spotted cuckoo bird is flying backwards.
Crow: Its a cold day for pontooning.
Probably the most quotable MST3K ever. All good stuff.