MovieChat Forums > The Courtship of Eddie's Father (1963) Discussion > Thank goodness we treat grief differentl...

Thank goodness we treat grief differently now!

posted 14 years ago by cagordon22
16 replies | jump to latest

Though Ron Howard gave an incredible performance, when he found his fish dead, and it triggered his hysteria because it was another death of someone he loved, I'm so glad we've learned to let children grieve differently now.

Holy Cow, the dad and the neighbor were shaking the poor kid and yelling at him to stop and finally the dad SLAPPED him!

Yikes.

[–] simplemines 14 years ago

He didn't slap the kid as punishment for crying. He slapped him because he was hysterical. And it worked. The kid got a grip.

[–] rivergirl301 14 years ago

Just because the kid was temporarily stunned and "got a grip" doesn't mean that is the best way to help a child deal with the grief of the death of his mother.

I saw an old "Marcus Welby, M.D." a few weeks ago and saw the kindly doctor try to snap an autistic child out of it my slapping him around. Thank God times have changed.

[–] simplemines 14 years ago

But Eddie isn't autistic. He's hysterical. The slap worked, as it would work on anyone who was losing it.

[–] liscarkat (16621) 8 months ago

My girlfriend got hysterical one day in an argument with her mother, and I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered that in movies somebody always slaps the hysterical person, and I slapped her (not hard). It sort of worked, but afterward I was embarrassed.

[–] clutchcargoguy 14 years ago

I believe you are reading something into this that is not there and possibly painting this as something it's not. I am completely in sync with your sentiments, but have no problem with this scene. Also, the film does not ask us to accept Dad slapping the child. He does, because he's hysterical, and the audience can take it as innappropriate if they want to. I think this is part of the drama, and of honest, desperately hurting and emotionally wounded people. Parents do not always have it all together, and sometimes screw up in moments like this. I think it made Tom Corbett more realistic. Am I advocating this? Of course not. Please don't even go there. I'm just saying that parents, as humans, will not be perfect.

[–] jac91604 13 years ago

Yes and parents are great today...LOL..we have a generation or two of ill mannered dolts who walk around texting, who don't know the words "please and thank you".

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] apachewind 13 years ago

Yes and commenters are great today...LOL..we have a generation or two of ill mannered a'holes who make insulting, prejudiced, and inane generalizations about large groups of people and think it's cute. LOL!

FTFY.

(And I'm not a kid.)

[–] joeparkson 13 years ago

I excused the father since I suspect he's dealing with unexpressed grief. He still has to be a business exec. as well as a father and has no one to lean on.
His anger at his son was due to his son being blase about the death of his mother, yet freaking out over the death of a fish.

Absurdity: A Statement or belief inconsistent with my opinion.

[–] mrnocal 9 years ago

His anger at his son was due to his son being blase about the death of his mother, yet freaking out over the death of a fish.

I find it more anger at himself rather than anger at Eddie. I don't think either one truly expressed grief at the time ("blase" not being quite the right description), and this small in comparison death of the fish and the reaction of it was a repressed emotion for both of them.
My Dad died as a volunteer firefighter on his first call when I was 12. I was sad but didn't show grief at the time...I was suddenly the "man of the family". I can't explain it other than I was angry that he left us. A dozen or so years later our family cat died and I practically lost it. I think it was the build up of the repressed emotion of Dad's death that finally came out. No hysteria, but if it did reach that point and someone had to slap me to shock me back to reality and reason, well I wouldn't consider that bad by any means.

[–] soap_luvr-2 13 years ago

I didn't see anything wrong with it. It's not like he slapped him senseless. I probably would have done the same thing, but I probably would have given him a hug after slapping him, just to let him know that it was done out of love...LOL

I Love....ME!!!!

[–] leader-7 11 years ago

there's nothing like a good slap.

"Snap Out of It"
Moonstruck. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x-fkSYDtUY

[–] loocheeuh 11 years ago

The father slapped him because he was hysterical--it's a pretty common sight in older movies. He didn't hit him because he was angry at him. But I agree, the attitude toward grief was pretty lame--but my sense was that not everyone in the movie thought the father was right in his tapping down Eddie's sorrow.

[–] drippan-1 10 years ago

The subject of this thread is inaccurate! Grief is grief is grief no matter the time. People still get hysterical and get slapped back to reality. People still commit suicide over grief. People get depressed and go into a slump for days. Etc, etc, etc.

Sure, the medication people take is better but the treatment, like all psychological problems, is different for each individual basis.

BTW, they could have slapped Eddie in a straight jacket in that scene and put him in a padded room. You do realize they use that type of treatment in today's world?

[–] crlnrgbrght5 10 years ago

Also in today's world eddie would have been medicated because of his hysterical reaction over his fish.

[–] brendanchenowith 7 years ago

Reading these posts makes me want to see the scene with the hysterical woman in "AIRPLANE".

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked.