MovieChat Forums > Hamlet, Prinz von Dänemark Discussion > Favorite Riffs

Favorite Riffs

posted 21 years ago by Film316
41 replies | jump to latest

This was just on Saturday and what makes this painful is that Hamlet is my favorite Shakespeare play. What saved this movie was the continual riffing from Mike and the Bots. Therefore, here's a list of my favorite riffs:

1. Hamlet walks down the hall wearing a cape, and a fanfare is playing.

Mike: It's Hamlet-Man!

2. The whole "To Be or Not To Be" soliliquy.

Crow: I'll take "To Be" for $50, Alex.

3. Whenever Hamlet walks past his mother.

Servo: [cough]Incest[cough]!

Gertrude asks Hamlet to sit by her.

Servo: Yes, my hosebag--I mean "Mom".

4. Claudius and play actors with big chains.

Servo: Rap artist Notorious K.I.N.G.

Mike: Run DMC Everett Koop.

Servo: And now, "The Tragedy of King Vitaman".

Please, share with us.

[–] Htom_Sirveaux 18 years ago

"Rap artist Notorious K.I.N.G."

"Run DMC Everett Koop."

Gertrude: Your sister has drowned!
Mike: She dove in after some wheat fronds.

"There's gonna be railing kills!"

Hamlet: [to Polonius] O wretched, rank, intruding fool!
Crow: Oh yeah, it's my fault you killed me.

Crow: Craplet!
Tom: Losertes!

Crow: Hey, Hamlet! Why don't you ram-let!
Tom: Shut up, Claudi-ass!

"What's the only thing worse than clowns? DANISH clowns!"

"How's lesbianism going?"

"Maybe we could meet for coffee next week... oh yeah, we'll be dead."

"This place could use a shrub. Hell, even a stick would cheer it up."

[–] zlada 18 years ago

"Is that Hamlet?" "No, it's his friend Riblet."

This isn't actually during the movie segments, but right before they go into the theater:

Crow - "Time for starchy, pork-filled, German Hamlet."

And I know it's already been mentioned, but I crack up at the Danish clowns line every time.

Draco: I taught the sorting hat a new trick! *places hat on Harry's head*
Sorting Hat: VIRGIN!

[–] Htom_Sirveaux 18 years ago

I know. There's always at least one line that makes us crack up each time in just about every episode. For me in this episode, it's probably the "Run DMC Everett Koop" line.

"Just repeat to yourself, 'It's just a show; I should really just relax.'"

[–] barneyis666 17 years ago

Here are a few.

Mike as Horatio, right as Horatio meets the guards on the battlements in the beginning: “So, uh, how’s the play going?”

Right after the great “what time is it?” speech:
Horatio: “Then it draws near the season, wherein the spirit held his wont to walk.”
Servo (as Hamlet): “You got that right, buddy.”

And actually right after that is the next one, after Hamlet rather inexplicably knocks on the chest of one of the guards, Mike: “Trick or treat for nipples.”

I was thinking the whole time while watching it just now, this MST3K episode would be really not funny if someone wasn't already well acquainted with Hamlet. Which isn't a knock against it, I really liked this episode actually. But I remember reading someone's post somewhere else on IMDB saying that this was one of the movies that was so bad that even the MST3K guys struggled to make jokes with it. Now that I've seen it, I completely disagree, but I could see almost all of the jokes going way over the head of someone less Hamlet-inclined.

[–] Htom_Sirveaux 17 years ago

I don't know - I thought they did pretty good with it. They may have struggled to come up with some good lines, but they came up with some pretty good ones. I think the one they really struggled with was "Hobgoblins" (in their own words, actually), but they managed to make that enjoyable. Another hard one was "'Manos' - the Hands of Fate." Hell, you KNOW a movie's bad when it's hard to watch even when "MST3K" rips on it, and "'Manos'" was one of them. My brother watched that one and said it was hard to watch even with all of the classic rips.

Here's a few more from "Hamlet":

"Queen's hair by Bozo."

"It's an all-purpose dress!"

(to Yorick's skull) "Nice zygomatic arch!"

"Ah, could you speak up? My tympannic membrane rotted away a long time ago."

"Synchronize royal asses."

"That guy doesn't have a widow's peak; he has a peninsula!"

(during the play) "Boo! You suck!"

Also, the part when Ophelia goes crazy and Crow starts doing the crazy babbling noise.

"Just repeat to yourself, 'It's just a show; I should really just relax.'"

[–] barneyis666 17 years ago

Oh I agree, this is one of my favorite MST3ks. But I know the plot of Hamlet really well, so I don't have to worry about figuring out the story and can just focus on the jokes.

I think for those that aren't well-acquainted with the plot (there must be some), they would be struggling so much just trying to figure out what's going on that three-fourths of the jokes would be lost on them. I mean, Shakespeare is hard enough to figure out even in the best versions of his plays, but with this version? Yeeesh, if this was my first viewing of Hamlet, it would make me hate Hamlet forever afterwards.

[–] omni700 17 years ago

hamlet is explaining the play to claudius:

hamlet:he married his brother's wife.
crow:did you get it, did you, did you, did you?

& near the end when hamlet is taking forever to die & he leans back & we think he's dead & he starts talking again & crow just yells "OH, COME ON!"

hilarious

I LOVE L.D.!

[–] Htom_Sirveaux 17 years ago

"& near the end when hamlet is taking forever to die & he leans back & we think he's dead & he starts talking again & crow just yells 'OH, COME ON!'"

That cracked me up too. Sometimes it's the simplest things they say that are the funniest. When they were watching "Godzilla Vs. Megalon" with Joel, there's a part where one of two picnickers yells out, "Quick! The rocket!" Tom just laughs and says, "Rocket?"

"Just repeat to yourself, 'It's just a show; I should really just relax.'"

[–] Htom_Sirveaux 17 years ago

"Yeeesh, if this was my first viewing of Hamlet, it would make me hate Hamlet forever afterwards."

Amen to that.

While we're on the subject, I still need to see the Brannagh version. I just need to try to find a time where I can set aside four hours where I won't need to do anything else.

"Just repeat to yourself, 'It's just a show; I should really just relax.'"

[–] FlaviusAetius 17 years ago

"....oohh....I stuck a fork in the outlet...", when Hamlet comes into Ophelia's room all disheveled and beaten up.

In the beginning, when Bernardo(? Maybe it was Francisco...) says " Unfold yourself!" When Horatio comes in, Mike riffs " Unstaple yourself!"

And the all time best......
" What's worse than clowns? Danish clowns!"

Classic stuff.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Who watches the watchmen?

[–] hotfriend1 17 years ago

Okay, maybe it wasn't the best Hamlet ever but I thought Karl Michael Vogler made a terrific Rommel.

[–] Gromit-7 17 years ago

When Hamlet and two of his companions are grouped together, staring at the ghost --
MIKE: Meet the Beatles.

CROW: Danish clowns; the damp, smelly, silverfish-infested basement of the clown world.

GRAVEDIGGER: Now here's a skull.
CROW: Not a bad skull; a good starter skull.

MIKE (as Harry Caray): Take me out to the swordfight....

When Claudius is speculating on his guilt, he says something like, "Or perhaps..." and looks down at his hand, and Mike says, "Nah, that'd be, like, the fifth time today."

And my all-time favorite part, when Claudius is telling Hamlet to go to England, and Hamlet has his face buried in his hands against the back of the chair, and Servo keeps whimpering like a little kid. I can never even hear all of what Claudius says because I'm laughing too hard!

We watched this episode this evening, and it's as funny as the first time we saw it.

" " ~ Harpo Marx

[–] zlada 17 years ago

When the queen is walking toward Laertes to tell him his sister drowned, and her eyes are opened REALLY unnecessarily wide - Crow: My contacts are fine!

Underneath the haughty there's a little bit of naughty.

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] pumbaaco 17 years ago

I love the "Ladies and Gentlemen, Patti Labelle!"

"I'm so Simon LeBon!"

"Whats worse than clowns? Danish Clowns!"

In the mst groups I'm in this is not a faovorite episode of the people but I like it!

[–] lurkylurker 17 years ago

"mother's drunk, sorry."

laertes: "i'll not be juggled with!"
crow: "i'm not a small sack of beans!"

"stop the world--i wanna get off!"

cracks me up every time.

[–] straker-1 16 years ago

Servo: "What's worse than clowns? DANISH clowns!"
Crow: "Danish clowns. The damp, smelly, silverfish infested basement of the clown world."

(A cannon goes off during the swordfight)
Sergo: "Whoa! A finnish Scud missile just hit the castle!"

GRAVEDIGGER: "Here's a skull..."
Crow: "Not a bad skull. Good starter skull..."

(Hamlet walks past his mother and Clauduis)
Servo(clears throat): "Mrrrrnnnk, incest!"

(after the 'to be or not to be' speech)
Mike: "So, you're a chicken for not stabbing yourself. That's all you needed to say."

(during the play)
HAMLET: "That's Wormwood!"
Servo: "Oh, it is not Wormwood, will you shut up?!"
Crow: "He'll be unwrapping candies next."

Mike: "San Quentin Prison presents Shakespeare."

(Horatio reads Hamlet's letter)
Crow: "Hamlet *faxed* me a sililoquy!"
Servo: "I could crap a better letter than this."

(the ghost goes on and on as Hamlet listens)
Servo: "Cut to the ghost! CUT TO THE GHOST!"

(A post Polonius-murder Hamlet burbles to Claudius)
Mike: "Yeah, go a LOT to England, will ya?"

CLAUDIUS: "And all is bent for England."
Servo(weepy): "Bent for England!"

Mike: "You can use this space, I'm done brooding here."

(Claudius swans in with his huge medallion)
Servo: "The tragedy of King Vita-Man."

[Credits: The End of Hamlet]
Mike: "Hamlet will return in Thunderball!"

(Claudius schmoozes Gertrude near the start)
Servo(throaty, inbetween leering speech of Claudius): "Oh, baby...juicy got me crazy..."

[–] senor_dingdong 15 years ago

As Ophelia passes out the wheat and babbles nonsensically:
"Uh huh, hey what do you have in a rye?"

"Crippling pain?! That isn't covered by my insurance fraud!"

[–] bbqplatypus_318 15 years ago

*snort* Nice play, Shakespeare.

[–] 15 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ptrschckl 12 years ago

"Go get Mommy a fresh margarita"

"Jeez, the Queen'll drink to ANYthing"

***Y'know... if we PRETEND we know what's going on, this is actually kind of exciting!***