Admittedly I didn't see the whole movie, but my mom has more than once, and we were both confused. Why would the note to Deborah be in Addie's writing? How would Addie know Brad was not coming home that night if she did NOT run off with him? Unless she was his secretary or had some other special reason to deliver a message from him other than to further torment Deborah, and even if that was her game, how would she even know that Brad would be either extremely late, or not coming home that night? (Assuming he didn't meet with foul play.) From seeing just the beginning and end of the movie and not all of the middle, I deduce the following.
George was only a friend and never a serious contender for Addie to run off with. Not only was he happy with his wife, but a homewrecker like Addie would never consider running off with a poor and altruistic schoolteacher. This leaves only Porter and Brad.
The theory that Porter really did try to run off with Addie, then thought better of it and confessed to his wife, is very valid. He would have had no reason to go on with a detailed confession after Deborah left the table had he been only lying to give Deborah a better night's sleep. This leaves at least four possibilities concerning Brad.
1. Like George and Porter, Brad had no idea about the letter Addie wrote to the wives. He innocently asked Addie to send Deborah a note saying he would not be home that night, she did, but Brad was home the next day.
2. Brad himself wrote a note to Deborah saying he would not be home, which Addie intercepted with a note of her own just to mess with Deborah, but Brad was home the next day.
3. Having failed in her attempt to run off with Porter, Addie ran off with Brad and Brad was not home the next day. (This is the theory that Ben Mankiewicz is 63% sure happened and I also believed at first but it would depend on Brad being sincerely interested and Addie stringing him along until the last instant when Porter bailed.)
4. Brad wouldn't run off with Addie who was so mad she bumped him off and hid the body to make it look as if he had run off with her and Brad was obviously not home ever.
It is absolutely maddening for the screenwriter NOT to let the audience know WHICH of these things happened. The thing to do is track down a copy of the book, and then book endings often differ from film endings.
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