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avortac4 (3520)
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I don't like this movie
"I had a pooch like this" makes no sense
Is this the ONLY movie that does this? (Makes no sense)
The Diversity we will NEVER see
The kids getting to a phone faster than Ace makes no sense
Is Spock Vulcan.. was David wrong?
Transporter (etc) makes no sense
Normalizing the 'abnormal' makes no sense
Viewing Failure because moviemaking makes no sense
"America" (Or even USA) makes no sense
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It's almost disappointing how well you wrote your post.
Now there's nothing for me to criticize or correct... I guess congratulations are in order, I really liked reading your well thought-out criticism!
I always try to explain but seem to fail.. you actually hit the nail in the head, well done.
I feel like I am watching 'Best of the Worst', when they watch those 'magic trick' tapes, where pretty much EVERY single tape has the 'rubbery pen' trick, where you simply move a pen inbetween your fingers, so it looks like it 'bends'.. GROAN! How young do you have to BE to find that entertaining?
This movie is childish in a very similar way - it shows these things we're supposed to just 'believe' and not question at all, although a toddler could already tell why that would not work, or why that's a stupid and crazy thing to do, and so on.
This takes you off the viewing experience, because the immersion gets broken constantly by something so stupid and childish, you have hard time taking it seriously. That general, by the way, should not be alive near the end of the movie, after Corben callously kills him in the freezer.
Worst part? Pleebploob is IN THE ROOM when Corben absolutely MURDERS multiple men by freezing them to death, but because she is a selfish bstard, she doesn't care about such murder whatsoever, she only cares about 'war'.
I mean, think about it - 'war', as terrible as it is when it happens, is basically just a reference word to 'something far away', and you can perfectly discuss it in a calm and rational way without emotions, if you are so inclined.
But if you watch someone MURDER three men in COLD BLOOD (pun intended), that should at least shake you a little bit, right? One is basically an 'abstract concept' you can philosophize about while sipping your Mocca Latte in some palm tree shade cafeteria, the other is something that actually HAPPENS and should basically affect you very powerfully!
Our 'perfect being' is a friggin' PSYCHOPATH, because the murder right under her feet (quite literally) does not bother her THE LEAST, but reading about this abstract concept makes her tear up.
Sheesh..
I am tired of trying to explain it, I guess I will never truly know, but for some reason, I just somehow don't like this movie.
She's not there to be your fap material, she's a VERY IMPORTANT 'element' (no pun intended) in defeating a super terrible monster villain thing! (Can't take anything seriously in this movie, so I will also explain things the way this movie would)
But sure, gawk at her like you have never seen an old pr0n-magazine and have nothing important to say or do beyond that.. professional lab workers? These guys should've been fired immediately.
- So many stupid explosions just for the sake of explosions. I once tried to inquire someone about why the lowest common denominator not only likes, but loves these huge, planet-polluting gas cloud explosions, but I never got a good answer beyond 'durr..duhh..cool.. it's s0 k3w1 when BADABOOM', a bit like how this movie keeps repeating that toddler lingo crap, sigh.
Why is no one ever talking how much these things pollute when they make movies or how much nature is destroyed by elon's space crapx, but sure, let's ban ALL PLASTIC STRAWS so now nature will be saved. I can't even shake my head enough..
I have never liked an explosion, I have never understood why mindless destruction and pollution is supposedly 'cool', I never get why there are so many explosions in almost every movie, or why they would EVER be required for any movie, but I guess in the CGI-era, at least nature won't be gassed as much.
Oh yeah, the word 'explosion' is also there, and Heehaw doesn't even flinch.
To mention a few more, 'execution', 'electric chair', 'fatal injections', 'death penalty' and so on.. how about 'Vlad the Impaler'? That's gross stuff if you ever read about it.
- The main point might be that this movie is just so very childish. It's like hiding a coin in your left hand, then showing your right hand. A toddler will know it's in your left hand, an adult would not even bother rolling their eyes. That's how this movie feels, some idiot doing these really banal toddler-'tricks', but for an adult audience.
You can take almost any movie that has this kind of scene; from 'First Blood''s 'Heheey, you have three seconds until I break your face!' to 'The planet will be in sights in six minutes'(or whatever the actual line is) (while the visual shows it's a matter of seconds). There's SO much cheating in movies, it makes me sick.
However, this movie takes it to another level. 'Unbreakable glass' is easily broken by a physical woman (DNA does not explain why a bipedal female would be ANY stronger than actual woman, unless we get a good explanation about muscle density or something, maybe, but even then)..
She jumps through what looks like thin tinfoil wall, when a wall in a secure lab should be SOLID and FORTIFIED and who knows what else. WHY would anyone make a wall as weak as _THAT_?! It doesn't even matter how strong she is, she is not using a 'powerful technique' by simply throwing her body (weight doesn't matter, because if it was really heavy, she could not jump like that) against the wall. It's a lot like Wesley's character throwing a guy against a glass in 'Demolition Man' - the move would not be stronger than his kick would be, and so on)..
Also, how would she understand what the keycard is and how to use it, why would the general tease her like that anyway, why don't they have a plan in place for communication with this being AND SO ON.. it's all so stupid, cartoony, unplanned and improvised. Which it WOULDN'T be in such a controlled situation in a lab!
Why can she know what the card is and what to do with it, but not realize those people mean her no harm? Why is everything so selective and contrived? WHY ESCAPE THOSE PEOPLE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
- This woman is worshipped by everyone almost constantly, it's sickening to the stomach. 'She's the perfect being' blablah, but you should not let your DICK make that kind of judgements, now should you? Geez, adult professionals can't do better than THAT?!
- Small stupidities, like the 'cockroach spybot. Why would ANYONE let a big insect run around on their table, especially that close? Who thought that was a good idea? Probably the same cretin, who thought we want to have the video/stream keep playing when we click the 'close tab' or 'close window' button. Of course we don't REALLY mean what we do in the internet, so let's FORCE the user to do what the corporation wants instad. WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT tiny window that follows you everywhere even though you thought you closed that tab already? I WANT HEADS ON PLATTERS!! .. well, foam heads on beer, I mean. But still..
- No real surprises or anything 'new' to offer the audience. Everything is so predictable and paint-by-the-numbers, it becomes a cartoon.
- The movie tries to be too many things at once, and falls flat on every aspect. It tries to be a comedy, but it's not quite funny enough for that. It wants us to take things seriously, but it's too goofy for that. It wants to bring us mystery, but it plays it too safe and it's too predictable and paint-by-the-numbers, run-of-the-mill for that. It tries to give us action, but all we see is some Mary Sue typically handling grotesque monsters like Jackie Chan, but not as convincingly or entertainingly, and she doesn't do her own stunts (not that there are many stunts to talk about anyway), making the action actually boring.
I could go on, but you get the drift... it's actually fascinating, how a movie can try so many things and still be so formulaic and predictable, it's almost an achievement in itself.
- The movie CHEATS way too much. We are all used to the trop of 'uh oh, they are going to crash in two seconds', then we see the scene from another angle, and whoops, suddenly they have 10 more seconds. Count down things in movies to realize how common it is - in 'Airplane!' you can count down the altitude when the autopilot deflates. If you keep counting down the same speed we are shown it's going down, it crashes.
- The stupidity of 'flying cars' rears its ugly head again. Look, it's a wonderful idea, we have probably all dreamed about it, but letting regular people, that can't even handle mopeds, FLY a car? How do you stop drunk flying? Err, drunk flying-driving? What would you even call that? In any case, just watch enough car crash videos, cop videos, Tesla cam videos and whatnot to see that this big bunch of absolute morons is not mentally or psychologically equipped to handle the cars we have NOW..
.. but somehow in these movies, no one ever crashes. Everyone just drives perfectly in the air. Can't at least ONE of these movies show us a mid-air collision because some redneck was texting while 'drive-flying' and thought they can handle a little inebriation as well..?
People are really, really stupid, so giving them a flying car would be a disaster of epic proportions. We would all have to live in fear of a car falling on our heads, almost regardless of where we are, inside or outside.
- The future-prediction gimmicks, like the 'inverted cigarette'. If a filter gets bigger than the smoked portion, people would just make their own cigarettes. Somehow this movie missed the 'vaping craze' completely, though.. what's up with that?
- This movie doesn't REALLY take you out into space. Please don't react until you know what I mean by this. There are movies that do this, we all know them - even the old, crappy show 'Babylon 5' did this in its own way. This movie pretends to be a space adventure, but it's really just 'let's mundanely chase the MacGuffin while things explode'-romp. We don't TRULY get to feel any space travel, see any unique planets and nature, let alone architecture.. just your typical, tiny run-around and we're back in the pyramids. Sigh. What a lost opportunity.. so it's not truly a space-faring movie, but it could have been.
I guess this movie DOES have its 'makes no sense' moments and stupidities, but it's rare that they are -quite- this stupid.
- Bruce Willis is supposed to be some kind of 'tough guy', I mean, look at him in 'Die Hard'. Yet, in this movie, he's basically just a simp for this 'element' woman. He is also weirdly creepy and r*pey, so go figure. Hard to root for him in this one. He also treats fellow beings like crap, but only the vag-holder version of a 'human' gets any sympathy from him. Why isn't he worried about freezing the men, but is shocked at slightly moistening the bint? There's no equality here!
- The fashions are absolutely stupid - why have these weird outfits for air hostesses, where they 'show cleavage but don't show cleavage'? Just make up your mind already, and make them look professional. Chris Tucker's hair could not be more confusingly repulsive as well, is he supposed to look phallic or like a girl? Either way, EWW! (I refuse to say 'ick')
How about wearing a turd e-moji on your head? How did that happen?
- The 'message' is strong with this one, especially considering how long ago this was made. Not only is the Mary Sue, of course, the strongest thing ever and can just weakly throw her fist and some big grunt dies from it, but token black people in powerful positions and so on. Sigh. Well, at least Chris Tucker's character is more what normal casting should be - just cast whoever has the skill in the role, and don't care about any superficial characteristics!
- The world is shown to be pretty close to an absolute dystopia - if I had to live like Bruce's character, I would die from something other than cigarettes, how about anxiety, claustrophobia, no nature anywhere, aagh... I would probably just jump down and hope to be hit by some moving vehicle
I must have missed quite many, but the point should be clear - there are SO very very many SO much worse words before 'war', it boggles the mind.
Just to pick a few 'favorites'..
- Genocide (not a problem, as long as it's not war?)
- Holocaust
- Gassing
- Agent Orange
- Vietnam
- Politics
- Feminism
- Murder
- Psychopath
- Serial Killer
- Shotgun
- Machine Gun
- Nuclear Strike
- Nagasaki
- Hiroshima
- Pollution
- Torture
- Brainwashing
- Lobotomy
- Psychiatry
- Napalm
And so on and so forth, like.. HOW are you THAT affected by 'war', after knowing the full meaning of each of these words? After knowing all that, something like 'war' seems like a walk in the park!
Isn't she supposed to be some kind of ANCIENT, POWERFUL BEING that is trusted to be the Fifth Element that can VANQUISH SUPER POWERFUL EVIL BEINGS?
What is THAT, if not the result of a war? What is that, if not war in itself? She is WARRING against that planet, she is a friggin' WEAPON OF WAR and she doesn't know what WAR means?! WHAT?!
She's show, as women in movies always are, in an extremely schizophrenic, contradictory way, because moviemakers always try to show women as strong, powerful, independent, more strong than men - but then they realize they also need to make them look sympathetic, so they make them pathetic, weak, vulnerable, crying and whining and being completely childish.
I mean, if a woman has to be shown as 'cute and adorable', right down to her stupid name (groan), she CAN'T be shown to be a strong, independent WAR WEAPON... but this movie doesn't care, or the makers didn't.
It's just so extremely stupid - not to mention, she likely uses english words that begin with V, W, X, Y, Z, etc. I mean, maybe not each of those letters, and I have not researched this, but I will bet you 500 dollars there's at least ONE word she uses in this movie that belongs to the part of the dictionary she didn't read.
Not to mention, you can't learn english from a book, because english pronunciation makes NO SENSE, so you would pronounce it wrong if you don't know how messed up it is. You can't speak on her level, no matter how big of a genius you are, if you learned it from a book. Even Manuel would speak better! (Point to anyone recognizing the reference)
So let's look at some of the words she is 100% UNPHASED (or is it unfazed?) by.
- Atrocity
- Alimony
- Attrition
- Attack
- Butcher
- Bombing
- Bankers
- Bunkers
- Battalion
- Counterstrike
- Carnage
- Creep
- Comanche helicopter
- Culling
- Cutthroat
- Death Cult
- D-Day
- Daltons, the
- Depression
- Desperation
...
and so on, and these were just off the top of my head.
.. and pretty much everywhere. It's a solid part of existence.
Metal is basically just a certain type of rock that exists in small clumps in mountains. They're not comparable, so a metal can't be an element. Even if it could, it would be part of the Earth element already, so it can't be its own, separate element, or then silver and gold would ALSO be elements, sand would be another element and so on. There's only 'Earth', and anything belonging to that element is included, not a separate element.
I guess the ancient people didn't always agree upon what they thought, but someone should've meditated upon this or at least explained why ONE physical thing can randomly be an element, but some gas can't, etc... makes no sense.
- The story isn't anything to type home about - it is actually SO paint-by-the-numbers, that after the relatively interesting first scene (where our 'good guys' were shown to be evil enough to MURDER someone by poisoning them? Did we all forget? This priesthood is EVIL, but because they were told 'only life important' JUST MINUTES AFTER TRYING TO SNUFF OUT A LIFE... we somehow forget and root for the evil priesthood, yay)..
..you have to groan about 800 times before the movie is over.
- I hate that 'love' solves everything, even though hollyweird movie 'love' is just emotional lust at best, and does not show any hallmarks of actual love, which is genuine, altruistic, selfless caring of your fellow entities and life around you (you don't limit it to bipedal entities, either!)
- I hate that the movie would fall apart, if anyone had thought about the STUPIDEST THING IN MOVIE HISTORY a bit further than 'hey, there is a word like 'war' in dictionary'.
There are SO, so, SOOOOOOO very many, super big amount, massively ridiculously enormous amount of 'just as bad' or 'worse' words than 'war' in the dictionary.
Our 'sensitive Heehoo' ACCEPTS them without a shrug. She gets to V without ANY ill effects, but 'war' then makes her go crazy??
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