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Iramet (31)
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That is good I supposed, I have not seen either of those yet; At least they are making efforts on that front though. Although I suspect it is too little too late.
No she is married, not to my wife's father (deceased). But I do know that she is planning on leaving her current husband as soon as her second child finishes high school. They are basically estranged at this point.
Tempting, but no. I already decided I will not make any other moves until she does. I have done a few texts like that before and not gotten any kind of interesting replies. So It is better to leave well enough alone unless something new comes up.
But the 'itch' is still there
Either they need to pick different people with different interest to pursue; or become interested in different things.
For example if you like heavy metal you probably aren't going to get along in a group of people that like Bach. So either find people that like heavy metal or try to get interested in Bach.
No person is "dull" either they are interesting themselves, because of who they are, or because of what they are interested in. For example you can say you have no sense of humor, you aren't fun, and people don't like you. Well the fact that you are that way is actually interesting.
I personally find friendships difficult because I have a bit of a sarcastic and obnoxious sense of humor and typically am interested in more in depth discussions on philosophy, politics, religion, etc. Often times people around me do not want to talk about stuff that complex at normal get togethers. So I have to adjust and 'pick my battles' sort of speak.
No she has not shown any signs that I picked up on. At this point I have sort of compartmentalized it away and sort of said to myself I will do nothing more. If she does something, such as text me just to say hi or something, I will have to reevaluate the situation. And yes they are close but more as a friendship sort of deal. They do not talk about anything 'uncomfortable'.
I do think of it as cowardly. I am in a strange position, I was always a more 'aggressive' in my pursuit of women. When I got married I was seriously trying to tame myself. I have been married for less than 10 years now and have 2 kids with my wife. I always thought my mother in law was attractive but over the last year or so I have been noticing it more and more. Now I do love my wife and would never want to do anything to betray her, but I do know myself enough to admit where I would be weak. But my desire to spear my wife's feelings in such a matter is not what is preventing me from being more active. Fear of the consequences with little indication of benefit is the thing that is stopping me. Basically if I thought there was a chance at something coming of it, I would be less hesitant. And part of me wants there to be a chance of it. That is why I think it is cowardice that is stopping me from pursuing the thoughts more actively.
You should try to be friends with people that you think are decent and competent. That way you will not only be able to check yourself against them and make sure you are doing good but they can help raise you and not drag you down. They should not really look at it as other people are "better than they are" but that the people they wish to be friends with are people that are aiming "up" in terms of making their lives better. If you are also aiming to make your life better that should 'attract' the attention of others that are doing the same.
If you are getting rejected by people because they think they are better than you, those are not people aiming higher and they are not better than you.
I guess your question depends on a lot of things: what stage of life you are at, what kind of people you want to be friends with, what would be the reason for rejection and many more.
For example if you are at a pre-college, ie high school or below level, than I would not be overly worried about friends or rejection just yet. AT that stage many people do not know where they stand or what they want. Usually friendships develop more out of peer groups when you start pursuing serious relationships, such as work relationships, professional or even romantic relationships.
what do you mean?
is it that some people do not want friends because they want only really good people to be their friends but they are afraid of being rejected by people "that good" and so would rather not try?
Lol. I read a study that suggests about around 1/3 husbands admit to experiencing this at some point. I wouldn't say nothing is wrong with it. But I guess it would be worse depending how obsessive you became about it, or if you started act on the thoughts. I admit to at times giving it too much thought and acting on the thoughts (minimally), such as texting her when I had no real reason too. I also I admit that I am too much of a coward to ever push it too far and that it is not a lack of desire that is stopping me but fear of the possible fall out. That makes it much worse.
I think some people have extremely high expectation out of friends and are distrustful by nature. Not that do not want friends but they are not willing to meet people in the middle and would rather not bother with friends that don't meet their expectations. I think it is a result of some self centered (not necessarily selfish) or narcissistic tendencies.
Lol, yeah they did a good job of wiping out the jedi; not perfectly executed though. A few escaped.
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